Draciack

I always thought alcohol helped me socialize...until I had some conversations with tipsy folk and realized that even a little alcohol leads to much less interesting conversations.

Actually, admitting my alcoholism has helped me a great deal. I'm no longer trying to hide my drinking or anxiously awaiting the next "socially appropriate" moment to refill or wonder if--gasp--people could tell I had a drinking problem.

I'm more comfortable, if only because alcohol isn't wreaking havoc in my mind.

As far as actual social skills, I recommend How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. And just, you know, bring good emotions (a smile rocks ), find common interests, and have some fun. It's socializing, not surgery

(A related note: I used to be terrified of socializing, to the point of not answering the door when unexpected visitors. People could sense the fear and it made them uncomfortable...once I loosened up, people received me better.)

But, to loosen up (and gain confidence), I had to speak to everyone. And I mean everyone. Gas station attendants, cashiers, random folks on buses, people in class, old folks, young folks, kids, everyone. A connection can always be made if you look hard enough.

I'm no authority either (citation: Firestorm ), just sharing what worked for me.

Happier

Great thread. This has been a big adjustment for me as well and I still do not have it resolved. Seems like I no longer have interest in many of my activities that were focused around drinking (i.e. bars, concerts, etc). Unfortunately I also do not enjoy my time with many of my old drinking friends. They still drink and it really makes me sad to see them out of control. I simply have nothing in common with them at that point.

Socializing with new people or coworkers is actually easier for me now. Can't say that I love it or enjoy it but I can do it more comfortably now. I the past I tried to rely on alcohol to get me though that scenario and wow, did that often backfire! Many regrets and embarrasing situations that I prefer to no longer waste time recalling.

I agree with Dee. No matter how I socialize now....it is ok being me. I'll accept sober life on its terms. At least I know that it truly is ME now and not some chemically induced immitation. Life is Life and I am now LIVING it. There is peace in that even if it sometimes feels a little awkward.

Sorry to ramble but thanks for listening. I think this has been a good thread for me to have read.