Jabbadabutt

if you find you have free time....or a moment of weakness.....come here to SR

The things you forgot how to do sober.....you will have to learn how to do all over again. A rebirth. You will probably figure out in time that doing those things (especially routine things like shopping or childcare) were in reality NOT made better by drinking...but simply gave you a false belief that they were better.


Ohh.....I'm a parent too and there is NOTHING routine about childcare :-)

artsoul

Hi eremc- glad you found this site. It's been a lifesaver for me and lots of others. I know what you mean about doing everything with a buzz. Every day I'd try to put off drinking until 4 or 5 but started caving in a couple hours earlier at the end. It wasn't very much fun, really. And the craziest part was keeping a balance so that I could drink and still try to appear sober in everyone's eyes.

Glad you want to call it quits - it's so much better on the other side!!

eremc08

thanks! I'm glad I'm not alone... I'm just terrified right now. I don't want to fail at this. I'm not thinking about drinking, I'm thinking about what I'm going to do when I start craving for one.

Jabbadabutt

Come here and DO NOT DRINK - Step 1

artsoul

It's definitely scary at first. I remember being afraid that I wouldn't be able to get sober, and also afraid that I would! That's where taking it a day at a time comes in. I couldn't think about the next week or even the next day in the beginning - it was too overwhelming. So I would just commit to do whatever I needed to do to just not drink for that day. I found that it not only helped me stay sober, it helped me with all those other messy life issues (like the mood swings, boredom, insomnia, etc.)

You're posting a lot which is great. Support is so important and we all need each other to get through this. And yeah, you're definitely not alone!!! :ghug3

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community.....

Many of us are winning over alcohol....and that can
be true for you too....

Please read the link Bout posted
it has useful info and some of our expereinces.

Blessings to you and your family

BoutDamnTime

I'm not thinking about drinking, I'm thinking about what I'm going to do when I start craving for one.

You say "no". Separate your brain and body. Your body wants alcohol but your brain is in charge. I joked about that on another thread and somebody turned it into the "Booze Nazi": NO BOOZE FOR YOU!! Works for me.

Day 4--Not craving too much at all. It comes and goes, but seems to be getting weaker. Stick in there and don't cave, and it gets better.

BoutDamnTime

Come here and DO NOT DRINK - Step 1

Because Jabba's post bears repeating. Having people to talk to is huge.

nlogax

Hello, and greetings from northern Europe! I'm just as new to this as you, so I'm not entitled to give you any words of wisdom... Except: I do remember a time, and you probably do as well, when it was possible to enjoy life -- deeply, profoundly and naturally -- without drinking a single drop of alcohol. When the "buzz" came from living a good and happy life.

So, good luck!

eremc08

Thanks everyone!! Right now I need to run away from my house! My ex is bitching via text msg, and my kids won't even let me get dinner ready.. (kids being kids).

On top of everything my mother is in the kitchen drinking her wine.. It's not that I even want any but ugh, for it to even be in front of me right now with everything else going on?

I did tell her to put it away and that I'm trying to quit and it's important if she drank in her own room but she just rolled her eyes and walked away. ~ she left the opened bottle on the kitchen table. (btw.. my mother lives with us)

LaFemme

Ouch, Mom sounds like a problem...if the wine is still there, pour it down the drain.

I'm reading a book that talks in part about disassociatin ourselves from our thoughts, its hard to explain but it is helping me a lot. Its by Wayne Dyer and its called Your Sacred Self.

Fandy

Hi erem;

welcome to SR, this site has saved me a lot of pain and grief of going it alone.

I urge you to sit down with Mom 2morrow, tell her how you are seriously affected by her wine actions and ask her to not make it harder for you.

eremc08

She gets drunk every night too. Like mother like daughter. I don't want my daughter to fall into these footsteps, nor my sons....

I can't wait til my husband gets home

CJ1

Eckart Tolle discusses this in his books as well. Krishnamurti before him. It's the notion that your true self is the quiet observer behind the thoughts, not the thoughts themselves. The trick is to not only associate "you" with your thoughts, or shut them out entirely, but to watch them float like clouds withought emotional reaction. Something of the sort.

Sorry Erem. I highjacked your thread. Anyways due to my recent marital split, i"m temporarilly living with my parents, who have a fully stocked wine cellar, and drink regularly. So I know how you feel. I just can't wait to get out and have a home with no alcohol in it.

Dee74

Hi eremc08

Welcome to SR. I hope you can sort out things with your mom but regardless, as you've seen, you'll find a lot of support here

With the Dr thing, I really do think it's a good idea.

Google 'free clinics' and your local area - you may be lucky, and if one exists, its good information to have

D

eremc08

Well, I was fine all night without! I feel extremely determined to get through these first few days and hopefully it gets easier. We do have a social engagement to go to tonight but I'm not even thinking about having a drink! I'm looking forward to saying "no thank you". My husband said if we do in fact go, he won't have a drink either (he doesn't drink anyway) I love him! High five to Day 2!8

BoutDamnTime

:ghug3:

LaFemme

For me, in social situations, try to always have a drink in your hand (the nonalcoholic type:-)...it helps!

Its tough about your Mom but you can break the cycle of abuse and your children can learn from you!

artsoul

Sounds like you're doing great eremc! And how wonderful that you have a good relationship and support from your husband. I second what LaFemme said about having something to hold and sip on - when I went to my first couple of social occasions, I drank cranberry and tonic with lime and found it to be downright refreshing and delicious. It's fun to get a little creative with sobriety so we don't feel deprived.

I think the open bottle of wine would be annoying, but it's a little hard to boss your mom around, I guess! If it means staying sober, though, surely a compromised could be had?

bochuck

Hi eremcyou wrote on my post so we started the same day. last time I was on here I read something that kept in my mind someone wrote about when you crave alcohol most and what to do....."you crave it when you're hungry....so eat; angr...go for a run;bored get up and get busy fast. Well they said it better but that is the jist. since i relapsed after 52 days I can tell you the symptoms I had my first week or so. anxiety,itchy skin,bad nightmares,depression and just my feelings swirling around i also was angry at stupid things. but days passed and so did those feelings. I then began to feel calm and happy to wake up normal. Let's do it this time!!!!!!!!