Weekend Binge Drinker...I want to stop
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Good luck, uni! Just keep thinking about the fact that Monday morning will soon be here, and imagine how good it will feel to wake up and be ready to face the week with a fresh, clear perspective.
Hang out here if you start struggling - it quelched so many of my cravings those first couple weeks.
Hang out here if you start struggling - it quelched so many of my cravings those first couple weeks.
Grouch and Brainstorm
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 238
Hey Uniblab.
My understanding of alcoholism is that it's not how much you drink, it's what happens when you do. Key questions for me were:
- can I predict when I drink exactly what's going to happen? Do I know how much I will drink? Where I will end up? (this is the physical part of the disease)
- when I swear it off, do I drink again anyway? (this is the mental part of the disease)
Sounds to me like you might not feel question 2 applies to you-- you can put it down, deal with the hangover, and get back to your life. Certainly doesn't sound alcoholic, does it?
But that first part-- the uncontrollable binge-- is troublesome.
A key question I would ask is-- what did your drinking look like a year ago? two years ago? Is this a progression that you've been noticing? Or did you always drink this way?
There are people who are "hard drinkers" who, for a time, are indistinguishable from the gutter-level alcoholic. Often times they are able to straighten themselves out with therapy, life coaches, medication, etc.
But if you are alcoholic, and this is merely a point on your continuum, you will not be able to stop the progression without recovery.
There are very few alcoholics that I know who were able to listen to that inner voice early on that said "hey, we've got a problem." They needed the pain, the loss, the full-on proof that their life was out of control. They needed to see the progression up close, cross the "I never" lines (I never drank in the morning, I never drank during the week, I never drank at work) that they claimed were sacrosanct.
I encourage you to try to identify with the unmanageability you read in these forums-- not the consequences, but the insane thinking that is going on underneath it. If you feel your thought process around alcohol is similar, if the patterns seem familiar, you might be an alcoholic who is having a moment of enlightenment and self-awareness before things get horrible.
I'll say it this way: I drank mouthwash and vanilla extract for the alcohol content, so I have no illusions about my disease. But that's not a requirement in the least to be an alcoholic.
I think you're doing exactly what you should be-- trying to stop. Seeing how that feels. Keep us posted.
My understanding of alcoholism is that it's not how much you drink, it's what happens when you do. Key questions for me were:
- can I predict when I drink exactly what's going to happen? Do I know how much I will drink? Where I will end up? (this is the physical part of the disease)
- when I swear it off, do I drink again anyway? (this is the mental part of the disease)
Sounds to me like you might not feel question 2 applies to you-- you can put it down, deal with the hangover, and get back to your life. Certainly doesn't sound alcoholic, does it?
But that first part-- the uncontrollable binge-- is troublesome.
A key question I would ask is-- what did your drinking look like a year ago? two years ago? Is this a progression that you've been noticing? Or did you always drink this way?
There are people who are "hard drinkers" who, for a time, are indistinguishable from the gutter-level alcoholic. Often times they are able to straighten themselves out with therapy, life coaches, medication, etc.
But if you are alcoholic, and this is merely a point on your continuum, you will not be able to stop the progression without recovery.
There are very few alcoholics that I know who were able to listen to that inner voice early on that said "hey, we've got a problem." They needed the pain, the loss, the full-on proof that their life was out of control. They needed to see the progression up close, cross the "I never" lines (I never drank in the morning, I never drank during the week, I never drank at work) that they claimed were sacrosanct.
I encourage you to try to identify with the unmanageability you read in these forums-- not the consequences, but the insane thinking that is going on underneath it. If you feel your thought process around alcohol is similar, if the patterns seem familiar, you might be an alcoholic who is having a moment of enlightenment and self-awareness before things get horrible.
I'll say it this way: I drank mouthwash and vanilla extract for the alcohol content, so I have no illusions about my disease. But that's not a requirement in the least to be an alcoholic.
I think you're doing exactly what you should be-- trying to stop. Seeing how that feels. Keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 438
Welcome, Uniblab. This is a great place to find support if you want to stop drinking - and it sounds like you do. I agree with what someone else already mentioned...that weekend drinking can eventually turn into daily drinking, so you're ahead of a lot of us if you're trying to stop before you get that far.
I personally like AA - for the program, the friendships I've made there, and the structure that almost daily meetings provides me. There are plenty of people here at SR who don't use AA and they can provide you with some great suggestions for alternative methods of getting and staying sober. But I would suggest you at least try an AA meeting or two to see how you like it...most people who try AA for the first time are surprised at how much they enjoy it - it's not a punishment, it's a fabulous source of support and help.
Congratulations on joining us here, and good luck this weekend. Keep us posted on how you're doing.
Stephanie
I personally like AA - for the program, the friendships I've made there, and the structure that almost daily meetings provides me. There are plenty of people here at SR who don't use AA and they can provide you with some great suggestions for alternative methods of getting and staying sober. But I would suggest you at least try an AA meeting or two to see how you like it...most people who try AA for the first time are surprised at how much they enjoy it - it's not a punishment, it's a fabulous source of support and help.
Congratulations on joining us here, and good luck this weekend. Keep us posted on how you're doing.
Stephanie
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Uni, I hope you are successful this weekend!
I too was a weekend binger for many years, and never thought it would progress to where I ended up. It used to be a really heavy Friday or Saturday night with the boys 2 or 3 times a month. Then I realized that I felt better in the AM if I had a couple beers or a bloody mary. So If i was drinking hard one night I was drinking through the next day because the beers or the bloody mary or the hard lemonade felt so much better than that hangover.
Then I realized that I was drinking the wrong stuff, so I switched to one kind of light beer and I would cap it off on some nights with some vodka, (dark stuff hurts more in the AM), I was still getting hangovers occasionally and my Dad said I needed to drink more expensive booze and it would help with the hangovers, (Thanks Dad!!). Sure as hell more expensive vodka did the trick, so instead of waking up hungover, I woke up drunk, ready for the next drink.
I then realized that I was drinking more often and alot heavier, and I was trying to moderate, (the wife was getting on me), so I did some research on this herb called kudzu, and started taking it when i drank, it slowed me down for the first month, and I was felling better, but my tolerance grew. As I realized I wasn't really getting hangovers anymore I decided that drinking occasionally on weeknights seemed like a good idea because I could still get up and go to work without feeling too bad, plus I am in outside sales, so I didn't have to go to the office that often. Next thing you know I'm drinking 12-15 beers a day and half a bottle of Vodka a night 5 nights a week, (on my light nights). I was working out drunk, coaching and playing sports drunk, always driving drunk, I was working drunk, and no one knew....except for me, and my wife would catch on occassionally if I wasn't able to avoid her, (but she had no clue to the extend). I progressed to that point over about a 3 year period, and I carried that routine for about 2 full years.
I was to the point that I would need to pound a 6 pack in about a half an hour, (I didn't do the vodka during the day except on weekends), before I went to coach youth sports just to feel right, after having 2 24 ounce beers on the way home from work.
Looking back, I really can't believe I ever let it escalate to that level, but I found alot of free time, I had money to spend, I was bored, and I thought I loved to drink. I almost feel like I knew what i was doing at the time, but I just got into a mode where I couldn't help it. I went to a Dr.'s appt for a physical, which I had a couple of days to sober up for, and I was hoping he was going to tell me bad news, but he didn't so i continued for another 3 months, until I had an epiphany that it was just too much work and the hangovers after 3 or 4 days drunk were major withdrawals.
I know everyone doesn't progress to that level, but it was 23 years of binge drinking and then some experimentation to find better ways to get drunk then a little excess money and alot of free time and there I was.....basically a daily binge drinker flying under the radar. I was an alcoholic.
I too was a weekend binger for many years, and never thought it would progress to where I ended up. It used to be a really heavy Friday or Saturday night with the boys 2 or 3 times a month. Then I realized that I felt better in the AM if I had a couple beers or a bloody mary. So If i was drinking hard one night I was drinking through the next day because the beers or the bloody mary or the hard lemonade felt so much better than that hangover.
Then I realized that I was drinking the wrong stuff, so I switched to one kind of light beer and I would cap it off on some nights with some vodka, (dark stuff hurts more in the AM), I was still getting hangovers occasionally and my Dad said I needed to drink more expensive booze and it would help with the hangovers, (Thanks Dad!!). Sure as hell more expensive vodka did the trick, so instead of waking up hungover, I woke up drunk, ready for the next drink.
I then realized that I was drinking more often and alot heavier, and I was trying to moderate, (the wife was getting on me), so I did some research on this herb called kudzu, and started taking it when i drank, it slowed me down for the first month, and I was felling better, but my tolerance grew. As I realized I wasn't really getting hangovers anymore I decided that drinking occasionally on weeknights seemed like a good idea because I could still get up and go to work without feeling too bad, plus I am in outside sales, so I didn't have to go to the office that often. Next thing you know I'm drinking 12-15 beers a day and half a bottle of Vodka a night 5 nights a week, (on my light nights). I was working out drunk, coaching and playing sports drunk, always driving drunk, I was working drunk, and no one knew....except for me, and my wife would catch on occassionally if I wasn't able to avoid her, (but she had no clue to the extend). I progressed to that point over about a 3 year period, and I carried that routine for about 2 full years.
I was to the point that I would need to pound a 6 pack in about a half an hour, (I didn't do the vodka during the day except on weekends), before I went to coach youth sports just to feel right, after having 2 24 ounce beers on the way home from work.
Looking back, I really can't believe I ever let it escalate to that level, but I found alot of free time, I had money to spend, I was bored, and I thought I loved to drink. I almost feel like I knew what i was doing at the time, but I just got into a mode where I couldn't help it. I went to a Dr.'s appt for a physical, which I had a couple of days to sober up for, and I was hoping he was going to tell me bad news, but he didn't so i continued for another 3 months, until I had an epiphany that it was just too much work and the hangovers after 3 or 4 days drunk were major withdrawals.
I know everyone doesn't progress to that level, but it was 23 years of binge drinking and then some experimentation to find better ways to get drunk then a little excess money and alot of free time and there I was.....basically a daily binge drinker flying under the radar. I was an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 63
The weekends are the hardest for me especially Saturdays. I don't work on Sat. so I have a full day to think about drinking and once I start I don't stop. I know just keep myself busy ,entertained but it don't happen that way. Like last weekend I promised myself I wasn't going to drink anymore. I made it through Friday nite and was very pleased with my self. Then Sat. came and some friends came over with beer I said no twice and then I couldn't say no again. Next thing I know it's Sunday morning and I'm searching for that beer. Monday I found this site. Don't get me wrong I'd drink anytime but the worst is weekends.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
hey stayinsober
I used to have the same trouble. I'd have all these good intentions and then the phone would ring and I'd be off to the races again.
In the end I finally figured out it was up to me to say no...for me not only no to that drink, but no to these guys even coming round because our entire relationship was built on drink, and they had no intention of changing or letting me change.
You may have to do the same if you can't tell them whats going on or if they just don't get it.
Sure I lost a few guys from my life, but I gained a helluva lot more.
D
I used to have the same trouble. I'd have all these good intentions and then the phone would ring and I'd be off to the races again.
In the end I finally figured out it was up to me to say no...for me not only no to that drink, but no to these guys even coming round because our entire relationship was built on drink, and they had no intention of changing or letting me change.
You may have to do the same if you can't tell them whats going on or if they just don't get it.
Sure I lost a few guys from my life, but I gained a helluva lot more.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 42
Okay, went through the weekend just fine....no drinks. I think it makes a real difference for me to post out here, so I want to thank all of you who have spent the time to wish me well. A special thanks to those who have shared their stories in this thread. I vow to help others on this board going forward.
May as well start a count....DAY 9 today!
May as well start a count....DAY 9 today!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 302
Originally Posted by artsoul 
Glad you're here, uniblab! Alcohol definitely took time and energy away from my life, too. It became my #1 source of entertainment, my "easy button." It was a little scary at the end when I realized I would rather spend my time alone drinking than go to a play, garden, read, spend time with my kids.....
Weekends are hard for everyone, which is why we need a lot of support, especially at first. I think it's great that you're choosing to do this for yourself. I never thought I'd be able to let drinking go; now I can't imagine wanting it back again.
Weekends are hard for everyone, which is why we need a lot of support, especially at first. I think it's great that you're choosing to do this for yourself. I never thought I'd be able to let drinking go; now I can't imagine wanting it back again.
*Sorry I took over your thread OP.. just wanted to add that
Please continue and welcome to SR! Glad you're here!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Grove City
Posts: 60
Hi Uni, I am pretty much a weekend drinker too. But in the past year it started to get a little more often. I would have one or two during the week. I wasn't drunk but I started to rely on a couple drinks to relax me...get my mind off of things. And I have always been one of the last to stop drinking at parties. I think it has always been a problem for me. I am thankful I haven't as of yet got any worse in the procession. But I am ready to give it up for good. For me I need to face my feelings, problems, stress etc without relying on alcohol...Feeling those stressors and handling them instead of blocking them out.. I wish the best of luck..I am new here too. Been on the board about 2 weeks now and had one night of drinking heavy, one night I drank a couple with friends and didn't even even enjoy it...I just want to give it up, its time...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by FindingDawn
Hi Uni, I am pretty much a weekend drinker too. But in the past year it started to get a little more often. I would have one or two during the week. I wasn't drunk but I started to rely on a couple drinks to relax me...get my mind off of things. And I have always been one of the last to stop drinking at parties. I think it has always been a problem for me. I am thankful I haven't as of yet got any worse in the procession. But I am ready to give it up for good. For me I need to face my feelings, problems, stress etc without relying on alcohol...Feeling those stressors and handling them instead of blocking them out.. I wish the best of luck..I am new here too. Been on the board about 2 weeks now and had one night of drinking heavy, one night I drank a couple with friends and didn't even even enjoy it...I just want to give it up, its time...
Thank you for your post, and I wish you the best in your quest to stop.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 63
I used to drink every day then every other day back and forth then I had quit for 5 mos. or so and started drinking every now and then then here lately it was every weekend and on Monday mornings I'm searching for a drink that I was sure I had hidden. I am tired of that life went on for 25 yrs. or close.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 42
Haven't checked in for a while, but thought I would provide an update to my thread. I have to say, I've been doing pretty well since last August. I did have one negative drinking experience in mid-September that further affirmed to me that I didn't want to continue drinking. Since then, I have only faced a couple situations where I felt *obligated* to have a few drinks, and while I had an okay time during those events, I knew in my mind that drinking is quickly becoming a thing of the past for me. The best part is that I am no longer fighting urges to drink. Having a few drinks doesn't occur to me like it used to. As a result, I'm more rested, have more energy to do other things I like to do, have more energy for my kids activities, better concentration, better attitude, etc. I vow not to return to my old habits...life has become interesting again, and that's a cool thing.
Best wishes to everyone else out here fighting or contemplating fighting the battle. Try to envision yourself being the person you want to be without the alcohol, then become that person. You can do it.
Thanks again, everyone.
Best wishes to everyone else out here fighting or contemplating fighting the battle. Try to envision yourself being the person you want to be without the alcohol, then become that person. You can do it.
Thanks again, everyone.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Great to see you're doing well, uni!
That's great advice. I didn't realize how much alcohol made me settle for the bare minimum from myself...... Getting sober really showed me that I can enjoy my life again.
great post!
Try to envision yourself being the person you want to be without the alcohol, then become that person.
great post!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 139
I have always been a once a week binge drinker...had to recoup for two days and with each time this happened, got further behind on home stuff an just wasting precious days. Kicker for me was disgust, guilt, an just so sick of my self destruction, I am on day 6. Did not even CONSIDER drinking this weekend. That's how I much I detest how I feel and time I was wasting. I think we jut have to get to the point that we know we have to stop the madness!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by Chris2011
I have always been a once a week binge drinker...had to recoup for two days and with each time this happened, got further behind on home stuff an just wasting precious days. Kicker for me was disgust, guilt, an just so sick of my self destruction, I am on day 6. Did not even CONSIDER drinking this weekend. That's how I much I detest how I feel and time I was wasting. I think we jut have to get to the point that we know we have to stop the madness!
Sorry for the ramble. I wish you the best in your quest to continue! Remember, it gets easier!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 139
Hey, rambling is ok...I do think that talking about it with others who do this helps. I have nobody to talk to about this. My friends, some anyway, binge too but think nada of it. I always wondered how someone wants just two glasses of wine. If I go somewhere out to eat, etc, I will just say i am dieting and not worry about what to say. In the end, I will just say I don't drink anymore. Keep it up unibab!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 42
Chris2011, you've got plenty of people right here to talk to about this, including me. Socializing sans drink was not a popular discussion topic for my circle, either, so I'm thankful I found this forum. It is invaluable, IMO, and a place to get and provide support as needed. You know, I often wondered how people could just have a couple drinks and move on, but I realized that doesn't fit my profile. I'm more of an all or nothing personality, so I choose nothing as far as alcohol goes, and I like it that way. Never really thought I'd say that. Honestly, I was bored with day to day life when I was binging. Not the case anymore. Life has become interesting again as I can really pursue my priorities with a clear head. That's the cool part.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by uniblab
You know, I often wondered how people could just have a couple drinks and move on
So, now I figure none leads to none. I'm trying. Thanks for the inspiration.
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