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Man, that was horrible. Brought back 'memories'...

Old 08-15-2010, 08:40 AM
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Man, that was horrible. Brought back 'memories'...

Man, just had a proper horrible experience.

I will share it and get it out on SR, even though it is all OK now and I have calmed down and feel OK. I also try to share where I'm at with SR as part of my recovery.

Went to pick my family up from the airport this afternoon. I didn;t have anything to eat for one lazy excuse or another. I just had a bit of chocolate and a cup of tea when I woke up and then a can of Coke cherry before I went out.

I was naturally on edge I guess as all of my loved ones where on a plane so the old alkie mind can start running wild when that sort of scenarioa rears it's head.

I felt reasonably OK. SO I go to pick them up from the airport and was feeling a little stressed and anxious during the motorway driving. Trying to follow the sat nav as best as possible but went a bit wrong around the island at the airport and then get into the arival/departures car park where there are the really confusing ticket barriers. I was starting to feel pretty stressed at this point and then it was so busy and hectic and I rang my mom and they were slightly delayed getting out of departure gates. I just went into a full blown panic attack to cut to the short of it. My mind was racing at 1000 miles an hour and then I realised that I couldn;t find the ticket from the barrier!! Man I was gone, mind totally shot and feeling terrible that I had let myself down like this and it wasn;t the greeting I wanted to give my family just back off their holiday.

Anyway after much stressing about trying to get out without a ticket and being told it would cost 100 by the totally unhelpful and incompassionate stewards, eventually my dad came back with a ticket and he mangaed to pay on hi8s card for 7. I don;t know how he got the ticket, he probably told the helpdesk that the driver was having a mental breakdown or something!! haha.

Anyway, I wasn;t in a fit state to drive home so he drove. I explained I don't knopw what happened and I guess it was just all the stress of the driving and car parking mayhem that just took me into a full-on loss of mind anxiety/panic attack. I was literally unable to think at all.

I think the not having to eat was a major factor too, the caffeine didn;t do my mind any favours either as it was just racing. I'm knocking fizzy soda drinks on the head too.

Anyway I have calmed down now and actually will take it as a learning experience. I never thought of a drink once and this isn;t related to drinking or anything at all. It just really scared me how the panic attack hit me out of the blue, but I was under a lot of stress in relation to the airport driving and not eating didn't help and the caffeine from the drink i guess.

Just thought I'd share. It felt very similar to when I used to put my Coke bag down on a binge and then not being able to find it and be searching around in a mad drunken scramble. Not good memories.

Peace
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Old 08-15-2010, 08:45 AM
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Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm sorry you had such a rough time. You were in a stressful situation, and didnt have a drink, and for that you should be proud. Great job!
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Old 08-15-2010, 08:47 AM
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GLad your ok neo, and came through..thanks for sharing.
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Old 08-15-2010, 08:51 AM
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Thanks man. It just goes to show how vulnerable our minds are. I guess it's certainly a reminder to me. For that I am grateful, but at the time I was in total mental meltdown.
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Old 08-15-2010, 08:54 AM
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Panic attacks are very scary things.

You're right, the not eating might have played a role.

I get lost easily, myself, and I don't know how I ever got along without my GPS. I was feeling your pain at the parking lot.

Breathe deep, you're safe now.
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Old 08-15-2010, 08:59 AM
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Neo, it was likely the cherrycoke. That is some bad stuff - It shouldn't be legal. I'm glad you made it through and were willing the accept help from your dad. Take care, freaking out in airports is a dangerous thing these days.
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Old 08-15-2010, 08:59 AM
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I've had a few meltdowns like this after I got sober. I think my mind was/is fragile because I used to deal with stressful situations by getting very, very drunk. Then, I just sort of bumbled through the situation and emotionally missed the whole thing. Sober, I had to feel each and every pressure of the unraveling situation, and I just couldn't handle it. I got better at handling crazy situations, and I bet you will, too.

hugs for the distress you felt
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Old 08-15-2010, 09:03 AM
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I had a really similar situation recently, drank way too much coffee and went to the cell phone store, they were swamped and I had to take a # and sit and wait...really felt like I was gonna have a meltdown the anxiety was so thick...was on an empty stomach too.
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Old 08-15-2010, 09:03 AM
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Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST View Post
Thanks man. It just goes to show how vulnerable our minds are. I guess it's certainly a reminder to me. For that I am grateful, but at the time I was in total mental meltdown.
Neo.. Whatever it Was it Sounds Like Something i Can Relate To in My Past as Well.. Most Likely a Combination of Things.. Glad To Hear it Worked out in the End! (As Things Most Often Do!) Peace!
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Old 08-15-2010, 09:06 AM
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Hi Neo - Sorry you went through this, but yes, it is a learning experience.

I had this once and thought I was having a medical condition. I went to the hospital and nothing was wrong (after 5,000 in tests) ... just in my head.

However, as you know, what is in your head quickly manifests physically, so it can be very scary.

I have used that experience at the hospital to now stop the anxiety feelings from getting out of hand. When I recognize them, I name them and recognize them for what they are ... a temporary bad feeling. I have (mostly) been able to keep them from manifesting physically other than a pit in my stomach. The doctor offered me drugs to resolve it - but this alkie knows better and I refused any drugs.

But, yes, HALT plays a big role here for me too.

Good learning. Glad drinking didn't enter your mind.
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Old 08-15-2010, 09:21 AM
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Just want to say thank you to everyone who has said 'thanks' or posted to this thread.

I love SR. It really amzes me how much support this place has given me. Thank you all so much.

I feel quite washed out at the minute. I can't believe how my mind got so 'closed' and just full on racing away. My breathing was just all over the shop too.

Thank you all for your replies and I will learn from this experience and I guess it takes time to unwind naturally rather than get rid of the this uneasy feeling through getting drunk. I guess it's pleasing that even under so much stress then i didn't think of a drink or numbing it out.

I don't recomend losing your ticket in carparks with barriers like airports. I think it must have fell out of my pocket opr something onto the floor and got blown away. Anyway i guess i'll never know but I can't really remeber much of it anyway as I was just mental meltdown. Flight or fight but I couldn;t flee as i had lost my ticket!! Not good.

Thanks to SR. I am eternally grateful for having this place to support me.

Peace
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Old 08-15-2010, 09:44 AM
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Thank God I don't drive.

Seriously, well done. You were faced with a challenge and you beat it without doing anything daft. Cheers for sharing too.

FB
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Old 08-15-2010, 09:52 AM
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Neo, you did great!

I have had some full-blown panic attacks in my recovery and it's really awful. I have found that simply focusing on breathing is a big help. When I am panicking, my breathing is shallow and quick and it actually adds to the panic because there is not enough oxygen in my system. Close your eyes and take three deep, slow breaths and it will really help.
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:39 AM
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Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST View Post
Just want to say thank you to everyone who has said 'thanks' or posted to this thread.

I love SR. It really amzes me how much support this place has given me. Thank you all so much.

I feel quite washed out at the minute. I can't believe how my mind got so 'closed' and just full on racing away. My breathing was just all over the shop too.

Thank you all for your replies and I will learn from this experience and I guess it takes time to unwind naturally rather than get rid of the this uneasy feeling through getting drunk. I guess it's pleasing that even under so much stress then i didn't think of a drink or numbing it out.

I don't recomend losing your ticket in carparks with barriers like airports. I think it must have fell out of my pocket opr something onto the floor and got blown away. Anyway i guess i'll never know but I can't really remeber much of it anyway as I was just mental meltdown. Flight or fight but I couldn;t flee as i had lost my ticket!! Not good.

Thanks to SR. I am eternally grateful for having this place to support me.

Peace
in The Past The Cure For That Panic Feeling Was Always Drinks.. Many, Many Drinks!!!:rotfxko
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:55 AM
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Hey NEO, yeah, I'm with a few others on this too in regards to stopping, taking a breath, halting, and just taking a minute to relax and ask yourself/myself, "ok, what do I need to do? What's important in all of this? Is my rushing around really accomplishing anything or making it worse?"

I had suffered from panic attacks since I was a kid and they used to scare the living daylights out of me, almost worse than what the panic attack was about to begin with. I learned that doing self talk and reassuring myself that everything is ok really helped to calm me down. Besides, you're more important than the situation itself.

Take care of yourself, and easy on that caffeine, lol!!!
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Old 08-15-2010, 11:53 AM
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Hey Neo,

Sorry to hear about the panic attack. I guess it just goes to show that they can pop up unannounced at any time. The real victory here is that in no way were you ever so out of it that you'd reach for a drink - a sign of great progress in your recovery! Not going for a drink as a knee-jerk reaction to your mind going haywire is a very positive sign indeed. No matter how out of sorts you might have been in the moment, on auto-pilot, your mind didn't reach for the drink.

Amazing stuff, this recovery business you have!

Sorry to hear the story all the same, if just for the scary experience. Glad to hear your mind, at it's core, is focused on your recovery. Nice to hear from you today, take it easy mate.

Cheers!
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Old 08-15-2010, 01:35 PM
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I've had some pretty full on panic attacks too - like Anna and Vegi said, breathing helps me a lot.

Glad you got through it Neo
D
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Old 08-15-2010, 04:56 PM
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Hello,
My first panic attack I was by myself at home. I had gotten very drunk the day before and woke up very early the next day hungover.

I remember it was around christmas time so we had some almond covered cookies. You know the ones that are dipped in the white stuff then filled with sprinkles. I grabbed three of those and a mountain dew for some caffiene.

Well that combination with my natural dehydration was a bad idea.

I was sitting and my heart starting pounding, I started getting dizzy, I started to labor in my breathing, I started to sweat profusely. I convinced myself it was a heart attack. I grabbed the phone and called 9-1-1.

The dispatcher talked with me until the ambulance arrived. I got some oxygen and slowly came back to normal. After a lot of tests the prognosis, was anxiety... aka... panic attack.

That was two years ago. I can always feel when I am on the edge. I can feel panic coming on and I have been able to slow myself down and focus... now that I know it is nothing more than anxiety. I have had some mini-attacks. A nice cold glass of ice water always seems to help.

I keep telling myself "your not going to die, your not going to die" "This to will pass."

I am sorry you went through this.... hope you feel better today...
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