vertigo

Is anyone else in their first few days of sobriety actually SCARED of their days off from work? I used to get bent all day and all night on my "weekends" - and since becoming sober I have found so much comfort in my schedule of working for 8+ hours a day, then a meeting, then reading the big book, then bed. Now I have to deal with a full 48 hours of basically no responsibilities.
Any suggestions or understanding would be greatly appreciated.

angharad

Yes unless completely occupied I get scared of my weekends. I still feel without drink they are long and boring unless im constantly doing something. My house has never looked so clean tbh! So I totally understand that feeling. Personally I fill it with housework, pampering myself, exercise or catching up with mates that I put off cuz i wanted to stay home and drink, over coffee :P Thats about all I can offer Good Luck xx

Dini

Even after 12 years sober free time can be hard for me. I can get antsy. Lately, I found myself not handling my free time well and I decided to go to more AA meetings. Sometimes more than one a day. It really helps me.

LexieCat

When I was drinking, three day weekends were what I REALLY dreaded--I just knew that I would drink all weekend and feel like crap on Mondays.

When I got sober, I went to multiple AA meetings on weekends, and tried to get out of the house as much as I could, just to change up the routine.

LaFemme

Hey! I'm still pretty new but from what I've read, free time is one o the big hurdles of recovery. After all, what on earth are we supposed to do I we aren't drinking...lol:-) I am gettin back into hobbies that I gave up, I am thinking about doing needlepoint again, someone I know is making a quilt, housework and excercise are popular. Maybe I will even learn a new language!

Its so normal to worry about free time, but suh a great opportunity too.

Good luck!

SASA

Hi Vertigo, the answer is definitly yes. I get bored very easily and I always drunk in the evening when there was nothing else to do. Now I am trying to read, hang out at the computer, pamper me, my 3 cats. After my slip or relapse I am starting all over and I can only say having to this this on a weekend was very hard...... But hang in there it will get better. I hadd 55 days when I slipped and I felt so good. Now I am hoping to recover, I know how good it will feel in the future to get there again....

spen71

If you are a person who gets bored very easily it is difficult. Everytime I have relapsed it is because I decided to take a 2 day weekend (I am self-employed). I cannot sit around just watching TV unless for some reason I have a drink in my hand.

So I am going to have to have a good think of things to do.

tellus

Thanks for posting this -- At just over 2.5 years sober, I'm still having trouble with free time, and I was starting to think there was something really wrong with me. Good to know that this happens to people with significant sober time, too.

To the OP: I'm definitely still learning how to cope with boredom. Right now I'm working 50-hour weeks until school starts, at which point I can throw myself into my studies. Since I'm not an AAer, I can't just pack my weekends with meetings, so I improvise. One thing that's been helping me is a Netflix subscription. If I'm feeling really antsy, I can just stream some mindless TV show and put everything on hold for an hour or so. Not a long-term solution, but it's a decent band-aid. I've also been trying to cultivate a social life, which is something I haven't had for years. It's difficult, but it's definitely more long-term than killing brain cells with bad TV.

Also: I've recently started stretching my ear piercings (my goal is 8mm), so I can spend unlimited time pampering my stretches. In other words, I'm using my boredom to do something that's healthy for me -- making sure my ears are nice and happy so they heal well.

a fallen man

i can totally relate since my free time from work was spent drinking in front of the telly on my sofa until pass out stage.

at first it was hard to even sit in that same spot because it triggered my impulse to drink.

but as i get more time under me it's so much better.

i help coach baseball during the spring and summer and that eats up a lot of my free time.

i also do a lot of home improvement projects....which amazingly get more than 'half done' now that i'm sober.

i love to read as well. if you do maybe some trips to barnes and noble for some good coffee and reading time. i don't ever remember drinking my vodka at the local b&n so that would be a good neutral place for me.

LexieCat

Oh, yeah, B&N was a good hangout for me. I let myself have an iced capuccino and a scone, and bought myself a book.

Omega10

I have a love-hate relationship with weekends myself. Getting away from the office for a couple days is great for recharging my batteries, but then I get trapped inside my head from being alone too much. I try to find things to keep my mind pre-occupied like going to museums, taking walks on the various nature trails around here, or reading books in my yard. Cooking complicated recipes also helps me.

NewMe11109

With my disease of alcoholism, I couldn't live in the present. I was either upset about the past or longing for the future. So, in the present, I drank to cover up those feelings.

Now, I try very hard to focus on right now and to find enjoyment in what I am doing right now.

In early sobriety, I had to fill the time with meetings or activities that I almost forced myself to do to stay busy. Over time, I realized how much new time I had to do things that I enjoyed and that helped me grow as a person.

So, if you can't think of anything to do or you are starting to feel bored, go to a meeting.

Also, try to re-start those activities that you used to like to do years before -- you might find that you really like them again.

If all else fails, go help another alcoholic.

recycle

Sunday morning and I am really fighting urge to go into the office. There are tons of stuff I could do there, but that would not be healthy. Weekends at the office were a classic place for me to catch the morning vodka express. Woo-woo, next stop afternoon nap, then drink 'till the cows come home. I am sooo glad I do not have cows to wait for any more - sometimes I would pass out waiting for them. Stupid cows!

LexieCat

Is that what we might call "cow tippling"?

angharad

lol
Also something I've found myself doing in the evenings (as a rollie smoker) is pre-rolling cigarettes! keeps my fingers busy :P

stephnc

I agree with the idea of attending more meetings if you're into AA, however I also enjoy hanging out with my AA friends and doing non-meeting things with them during my free time. I've made some really great friends in the rooms of AA, and have built up a social life that I didn't have before. That certainly helps with the down time I have to fill when not working.

Dee74

Hi Vertigo

I basically hang out at home, so my life is such I have a lot of free time...it took some getting used to.

Good advice here on other things you can do

D

endlesspatience

This weekend, I started with an AA meeting on Friday evening. On Saturday, I got up early and did some restoration painting in my apartment. I'd spilled a bottle of wine on the wall when I was drunk a few months ago and made a feeble attempt to clean it up, which just made the mark bigger! So I repainted that wall, then went out to a meeting, met my sponsor, had a juice with him, went to ANOTHER meeting, sat with my sponsor on a park bench for a bit and went home. On Sunday morning, I cleaned up all the painting stuff, went to church, prepared some picnic food, met a friend, reloaded the tunes on my ipod, read a couple of chapters of a book, logged onto the Forum and now I'm preparing for an early night. I really cannot take in how many things I have done! When I was drinking, it was enough to spend the whole time on the sofa, with short trips to the liquor store and a couple of periods of troubled sleep.

I'm going to feel great tomorrow morning and I may even kick off the week with a 7.30am meeting before work.

Who was it who said "I never regret NOT drinking more the night before in the morning"? I love that quote.

PennyLove

Wow – am I glad I found this thread. It’s nice to know that others struggle with free time.

This is my second weekend sober in a long long long time. Last weekend I started Saturday like I got shot out of a cannon – full of energy and motivation. I was ready to conquer the world. By the time Sunday evening rolled around I was itching with unexplainable anxiety.

This weekend I took a slow and steady approach. Last night when I went to bed I felt a pang of guilt for not conquering the world – that is until I took inventory of everything I got done during the day. While my approach to the day was slow, and somewhat lazy, I still managed to get WAY more done than I would have if I were drinking. Today is much the same – slow and steady. No marathons, no mountains to climb. Yet I’ve managed to not just get the sheets washed, but ACTUALLY put on the bed! Cloths clean AND folded AND put away.

I’m just working on being thankful I’m clear headed, sober and able to see straight enough to type something somewhat coherent.

Looking forward to a good dinner tonight (one that I will be able to enjoy with unaltered taste buds) maybe a movie and off to bed early.

Thank you for those that have posted to this thread. It is nice to know that I am not alone in feeling a little anxious about free time.

TenNinetySix

I am 4 months sober & I am still very leery, very cautious of any free time. The last time I went out of town some activities had to be canceled & I found myself with a day & an evening free & I was F R E A K I N G O U T in the motel at the prospect of not knowing what to do with myself. So I went out & found some meetingsto keep myself occupied. Being alone & having free time is scary, it is definitely not just you.