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Old 08-15-2010, 03:42 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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I think I'll go to Wal Mart. That would make ANYONE feel better about themselves. LOL!!!

BTW, what is it with Fandy and ice cream and you and your milk shakes?? lol
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Old 08-15-2010, 05:52 PM
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I dunno, but the idea of a drink sounds pretty unappealing with a milk shake or ice cream. I never understood the dude in the Big Book who wanted to put whisky in his milk--yuck!

The first few crises I had after I got sober were tough, but each time it got a little easier.
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Old 08-15-2010, 06:46 PM
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Wal mart would drive me to drink;-)

Go ahead and cry, we need to learn to feel emotions again. I am sending you a cyber hug, some ice cream, a milk shake and my dogs are adding some sloppy puppy kisses (for which you should be grateful they aren't there:-).
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Old 08-15-2010, 06:52 PM
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Ice cream has a very calming effect for me...kind of like ativan or a valium...it helps me sleep....i'm also a big fan of turkey sandwiches for the same reason...turkey and tomatoe with light mayo and a strip of bacon on a hard roll or rye.

I do not think it is abusive to teach your child responsibility. She is on your payroll and abusing the kindness and all the ammenities you work hard to provide. Cell phone, car insurance, make-up, magazines, cool clothes, shoes, razors, feminine necessities, etc.

if you sat down and made a dollars and sense list about how much you actually spend you would probably fall on the floor....If she is not working and contributing, she should at least help you out at home....instead of YOU working your tail off all day, then coming home and playing maid, cook.

she spends the last 4 days with her BF doing what? you do have the RIGHT to monitor her activities if she is living under your supervision.

I was also at Wal-mart today....(great minds think alike)...got the kitties some good kibble and found this lemon-mint clay mask too.

if you don't like Ice cream, go for the chocolate!
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Old 08-15-2010, 07:34 PM
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Hi ladies. Thank you for all the lovely posts I received when I got back from Wal Mart. Wal Mart was a zoo but I needed some serious groceries in the house. I did not buy Chelsea a completely menu to suit her tastes like I usually do but I did buy meals we can hopefully make together that we both like. Eff cooking tonight though...it was California Pizza Kitchen frozen thin crust Pepperoni pizza. I haven't able to eat all day so I figured I could spare the calories.

Lexie-That does sound terrible but then again whiskey with anything sounds terrible to me. Earlier however, I could have easily downed several pints. They are $2 only 2.5 blocks away at Sticky Fingerz RocknRoll Chicken Shack. haha
It is really encouraging to know this kind of "stuff" I'm going through will get easier in time. Thank you.

LaFemme-Wal Mart reminds me not to drink since it looks like skid row in there anyway. Double wammie.....remember I'm in Arkansas right now so you can imagine the results of all the inbreeding. I thought it was a myth but now being here, I know it really exists. You can give me a cyber slap if that was too rude if you want. lol On another note, I did have a good cry....in her room looking at her things (that were all over the damn floor). Can't help but think about when she was a little girl. *sigh* I love her so much. Your hug was genuine and sweet. Thank you

Fandy-Thank you for the reassurance. I needed it after seeing the pain in her eyes when we spoke earlier. She tried to hide it but I know my baby. How am I coping? Twizzlers. That's my sugar poison. I'm not a big sweets person but I like those and frozen Yoplait Whips for a treat sometimes.
I love buying skin care stuff and pampering myself at home. Did you try your mask yet? What sort of cat food do you get your kitties? Fandy is so beautiful. You should make an album so I can see the rest of your kitties.

There is an amazing lightning show outside here in downtown Little Rock. At the moment, I have big huge windows to watch it. Can't wait to get back home though...to the lightning capital of the world. Super excited!
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Old 08-15-2010, 08:10 PM
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
The best thing to do is to just be honest with her and let her know what you expect of her if she is going to continue to live with you. Now might be a good time to sit down and make a list of "house rules" for her and a list of boundaries for yourself.
Yep....

Chakra, sorry you are going through this @ this time.
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Old 08-16-2010, 01:27 AM
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Thank you HReady. Very sweet of you. I was wondering today where you were because I hadn't seen you. Hope you are doing ok.
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:42 AM
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Hi Chakra - after reading your posts, it just reminded me of how hard it is to parent (especially girls, cuz they're not content just to keep their mouths shut and go kick a soccer ball around for fun)......... I had some very difficult times with my oldest daughter who has moved in with me on 9 different occassions in the past 5 years. She now 25 and has periods of being fine and then just dropping out of life altogether. There's alot to the story, which I won't bother with here, but I just wanted to say she is finally going to graduated from college in Decemeber. It's been a struggle, but I do believe there's hope. My 17 yr. old has other issues................... nuff about me.

As I said, your posts reminded me of something I discovered about setting boundaries (which I usually don't do very well). One of my problems in the past is that I felt like I had to get tough to use tough love, and that's just not me. So I had a hard time with it, until I it got bad of course and I was angry. When I got to the breaking point and had finally had enough, I would get on their case and they look at me like I'm crazy since I never act like that.

What I discovered is that my anger is just an emotional reaction to being hurt. It hurts me to see them be selfish, to have to worry about where they are, to feel disrespected or ignored. It hurts......

After realizing this, I was finally able to do some tough love by sharing my hurt, letting them see how their behavior really affected me.... (maybe a few tears, too). I told them how overwhelmed I felt to have to do all the work around the house, and my worries about money and how I worried about them all the time. It seems to be working better for me than the strong-arm approach, since they would just get angry back at me and more defiant anyway.

This may not apply at all to your situation, but for any single moms out there who are softies like me, you can do tough love without having to have a tough personality. Just show them your heart and your hurt......

Chakra, I hope things get better for you and your daughter soon. I know how exhausting it is to have to go through all the drama....... Detachment is something I'm also working on and that's not easy either. Parenting is just hard!!!! Hang in there. ODAAT!!
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Old 08-16-2010, 07:27 AM
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good morning, I hope things are going well....and I needed to tell you that I also purchased 4 pkg. of twizzlers yesterday at Wally-mart....because they are about50 cents cheaper per pkg. than at the regular grocery...and they have my new favs....the citrus filled twists...very fresh.

I feed my boyz Purina Pro Plan dry, purnia one dry, fancy feast dry, and canned friskies and canned fancy feast...I will happily make an album once I can load my camera software onto a new laptop...The X-Mr. Fandy took both the HP and new Acer laptop with him when he vacated the premises...my little netbook at home is the best option to load new software...it would slow to a crawl.
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Old 08-16-2010, 11:10 AM
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artsoul-I have openly shown her how painful her actions are to me. We are at the final stages of what I hope will be that kick in the ass that she needs to get her sh#t together. I've tried a softer approach, I've tried tough love, I've reasoned with her and tried to help her in many ways...even through therapy but she has to want to help herself first. Thank you for your kind words. You always add great insight and positive thoughts.

Fandy-Those are my daughter's favorite Twizzlers too and yes, I did buy her some. I love the strawberry ones. <-----I need to do this so I'll stop eating them.
Sounds like your kitties are well fed. My cat gets IAMS hairball and weight control with an occasional can of fancy feast. I wish I knew what to do with all this freakin hair she sheds though. Drives me nuts but I love her so much.
I too, have a netbook but I don't ever upload photos to it. I just take photos with my phone and send them to my FB account and save them to my computer from there. Who is your service provider for your netbook?
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Old 08-19-2010, 12:37 PM
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Thx, I'm doing well. I seem to need to take computer time outs. But, this time out was due to puter being out. Ho-hum....

Sounds like you're hanging in there, Chakra.
One of my Sibs has a son who she enables. He's in his 30's and is just happy as long as he can buy cigs and beer. He has anger issues and is just a rebel in all walks of his life. He's on 3yr probation rt. now. I'm wondering how long that will last.
She also has to hide things in her purse and even has to take her purse w/her to the bathroom!
Oh, and now, she has a deadlock on her bedroom door.
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