feeling crappy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Grove City
Posts: 60
feeling crappy
Hi, I did it again last night. I was doing so well. But I fell right back into it after a bad day yesterday. I just cant seem to make the over 1 week mark of not drinking. I was feeling so good about it..
I got so close to not getting drunk lastnight. I feel guilty as usual. I neeed to come here instead of pouring a drink when I feel stressed..I feel like complete failure again.
I got so close to not getting drunk lastnight. I feel guilty as usual. I neeed to come here instead of pouring a drink when I feel stressed..I feel like complete failure again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I tied more times than I could count. Never made it past day 7. Today is day 33, if I can do it, anyone can. Making it to double digits for the first time really helped me believe I could do it. My advice, get right back in the saddle and start again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Grove City
Posts: 60
I will try the gratitude section. Thank you for you support everyone....This is the first time in my life though I have really tried to stop drinking. I want it so bad. I knew it was gonna be major temptation on day 7. Thursdays in particular are hard for me...I will start again, I am gonna start again. I have to stop this self loathing crap...
I looked up AA meetings just now, 2 in my city. May go tonight! Will see don't know if I am ready yet
I looked up AA meetings just now, 2 in my city. May go tonight! Will see don't know if I am ready yet
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,415
I neeed to come here instead of pouring a drink when I feel stressed
It's like Anna said, when I completely accepted that drinking was no longer an option then I too began to work out other ways of dealing with things
D
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
Hey Findingdawn, any consollation took me many many attempts to get any stretch of sobriety under my belt,finally findin my way now...you want it so badly, i did too, so sick and tired of the repetitive crap, that goes with the territory..if you can tough out a few major cravings, you gain a little extra strength i found..then i felt i was gaining the upper hand,and it seemed to ease up the terrible cravings,to were now i feel i can handle those better..just sayin, how it was for me... keep at it,all the best.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by FindingDawn 
I looked up AA meetings just now, 2 in my city. May go tonight! Will see don't know if I am ready yet
What is it you're not "ready" for? Not ready to feel better? Not ready to put an end to the insanity? You said you keep trying to make it past a week, and can't do that.
What are you waiting for?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Grove City
Posts: 60
I guess I just don't know if I want to try AA or not. Thats what I meant by not ready. Definatly ready to stop drinking. Thinking I might be able to do it with the support from this board. But it is not out of the question for me. (AA) Not at all.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'll tell ya something funny. Or not funny, just ironic, I suppose. My ex-husband (we're still good friends) got sober 30 years ago in AA, and hasn't had a drink in all that time. I was around AA for years and years, saw him and his friends in the program experience absolute miracles in their lives.
Years later, when my own drinking went out of control, I was ready to do anything BUT AA. To me, that was the end of the line. I thought it was great for other people, but *I* was different. I was smart enough to get a handle on it myself.
I spent four and a half years trying to "get a handle on it" while my drinking got worse. I could control it for short stretches of time, but I always slipped back into my old patterns. I was starting to get some scary physical symptoms. I was physically addicted and went through painful withdrawals during the workday until I could get home and medicate myself. I was drinking to feel normal.
Finally, after a weekend binge that had me going through the worst withdrawal yet at work, to the point that I had to have someone drive me home from work, a lightbulb went on and I asked myself, "What are you waiting for?" After a three-day home detox (VERY carefully tapering) I poured my last drink and went to my first meeting the next day. I haven't had a drink since, and it will be two years for me in two weeks.
It was such a relief to walk into the doors and to be with other people who knew exactly where I was coming from, and who told me I didn't ever have to feel that way again.
Years later, when my own drinking went out of control, I was ready to do anything BUT AA. To me, that was the end of the line. I thought it was great for other people, but *I* was different. I was smart enough to get a handle on it myself.
I spent four and a half years trying to "get a handle on it" while my drinking got worse. I could control it for short stretches of time, but I always slipped back into my old patterns. I was starting to get some scary physical symptoms. I was physically addicted and went through painful withdrawals during the workday until I could get home and medicate myself. I was drinking to feel normal.
Finally, after a weekend binge that had me going through the worst withdrawal yet at work, to the point that I had to have someone drive me home from work, a lightbulb went on and I asked myself, "What are you waiting for?" After a three-day home detox (VERY carefully tapering) I poured my last drink and went to my first meeting the next day. I haven't had a drink since, and it will be two years for me in two weeks.
It was such a relief to walk into the doors and to be with other people who knew exactly where I was coming from, and who told me I didn't ever have to feel that way again.
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