The Importance of Humility for Me
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 114
The Importance of Humility for Me
Hey everyone, today I hit 220 days sober and things could not be better. One of the things I have been thinking about a lot is the importance of humility in my own recovery. For me, humility is all about recognizing when I am wrong, and asking for help/forgiveness no matter what. This means admitting when I am wrong regardless of whether I am worried what people will think of me, or whether I think I might be right, or have a better way.
Back when I was drinking/drugging, I had no humility. I always thought that I was great. I thought I was young and funny, intelligent, witty, and on top of the world. I thought everything I did was really great compared to a lot of other people. I always compared myself to other people-always. But in reality I was in denial. My alcoholic mind was always in charge and I was not funny, I was arrogant; I was not intelligent, I was cocky; I was not witty, I was a smartass; and I was not on top of the world-I was falling off of the world pretty quick. Now that I am sober-I realize that I am intelligent, but so is everyone else. And, I can be funny and witty and feel like I am on top of the world-but so can everyone else. I have also learned that my views/ways are not the best most of the time. The past 220 days have been a period of humility for me because I have found out how wrong my life has been. I know a lot of this was because of the drinking/drugging and my mind. I was constantly doing what I thought I loved, and thought I was great for it. Turn out I was not, and all the great concern and commentary from my closest freinds and family went out the window at that time.
But now, looking back on it all, yes, I do feel ashamed of the person that I once was. I am sorry for all the bad stuff I did and how I treated people and viewed myself. I wish that I never gave off that persona and subjected other people to it. But now, I am also grateful that I went through the experience of hitting rock bottom at the age of 27. It was tough realizing that everything in my life was all wrong-and what everyone else around me was right when they looked at my life from the outside-whether I liked that person or not.
I guess what I am trying to say is that humility is really tough-at the beginning of getting sober it can seem overbearing when combined with remorse and regret. But now, its the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, after going through the experience of learning the hard way that I was not living my life the way I truly wanted it-aside from what my alcoholic mind was telling me-I am so grateful for being the kind of person today who can recognize when I am wrong and accept the help of others. Because, being able to accept the help of others is what has made and kept me sober for 220 days, and I know it is what is going to keep me sober for today. That is all I am worried about. Today. Tomorrow is another day.
On the other end-humility has helped me to be open to receiving help in a bunch of different ways-ways that I used to miss because my eyes were blocked by my alcoholid mind. This past weekend I came across a saying that talked to me directly and really helped me think about eavch and every day, and where I am headed for that day and how I can approach it the right way. It helped me a ton, and I hope it helps at least one other person:
"This is the beginning of a new day. I was given this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. What I do today is important because I'm exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving in its place something I have traded for it. I want it to be gain, not loss; good, not evil; success, not failure; in order that I shall not regret the price I paid for it".
Over the past years of my life, I thought everything I wanted, and everything I wanted to be was going to come from me drunking and drugging my mind out. I lived my life like that for 10 years and nothing good came out of it.
Turns out all I had to do was look in the mirror and be honest with myself and others. Even if I could go back and turn back time, I think I wouldnt want to change the past. This experience has made me a better person. Now, I wish I never went through all the drinking and drugging in the first place. But my point is, to get sober and stay sober-I am glad I went through all the struggles with humility. It made me the person I am today-the person I am at peace with and happy to present to others.
All the best
Back when I was drinking/drugging, I had no humility. I always thought that I was great. I thought I was young and funny, intelligent, witty, and on top of the world. I thought everything I did was really great compared to a lot of other people. I always compared myself to other people-always. But in reality I was in denial. My alcoholic mind was always in charge and I was not funny, I was arrogant; I was not intelligent, I was cocky; I was not witty, I was a smartass; and I was not on top of the world-I was falling off of the world pretty quick. Now that I am sober-I realize that I am intelligent, but so is everyone else. And, I can be funny and witty and feel like I am on top of the world-but so can everyone else. I have also learned that my views/ways are not the best most of the time. The past 220 days have been a period of humility for me because I have found out how wrong my life has been. I know a lot of this was because of the drinking/drugging and my mind. I was constantly doing what I thought I loved, and thought I was great for it. Turn out I was not, and all the great concern and commentary from my closest freinds and family went out the window at that time.
But now, looking back on it all, yes, I do feel ashamed of the person that I once was. I am sorry for all the bad stuff I did and how I treated people and viewed myself. I wish that I never gave off that persona and subjected other people to it. But now, I am also grateful that I went through the experience of hitting rock bottom at the age of 27. It was tough realizing that everything in my life was all wrong-and what everyone else around me was right when they looked at my life from the outside-whether I liked that person or not.
I guess what I am trying to say is that humility is really tough-at the beginning of getting sober it can seem overbearing when combined with remorse and regret. But now, its the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, after going through the experience of learning the hard way that I was not living my life the way I truly wanted it-aside from what my alcoholic mind was telling me-I am so grateful for being the kind of person today who can recognize when I am wrong and accept the help of others. Because, being able to accept the help of others is what has made and kept me sober for 220 days, and I know it is what is going to keep me sober for today. That is all I am worried about. Today. Tomorrow is another day.
On the other end-humility has helped me to be open to receiving help in a bunch of different ways-ways that I used to miss because my eyes were blocked by my alcoholid mind. This past weekend I came across a saying that talked to me directly and really helped me think about eavch and every day, and where I am headed for that day and how I can approach it the right way. It helped me a ton, and I hope it helps at least one other person:
"This is the beginning of a new day. I was given this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. What I do today is important because I'm exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving in its place something I have traded for it. I want it to be gain, not loss; good, not evil; success, not failure; in order that I shall not regret the price I paid for it".
Over the past years of my life, I thought everything I wanted, and everything I wanted to be was going to come from me drunking and drugging my mind out. I lived my life like that for 10 years and nothing good came out of it.
Turns out all I had to do was look in the mirror and be honest with myself and others. Even if I could go back and turn back time, I think I wouldnt want to change the past. This experience has made me a better person. Now, I wish I never went through all the drinking and drugging in the first place. But my point is, to get sober and stay sober-I am glad I went through all the struggles with humility. It made me the person I am today-the person I am at peace with and happy to present to others.
All the best
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 114
I forgot to mention that I did one other thing, based on a freinds reccomendation. I went back to my Dr. after years of glossing over the amounts I was drinking and not giving in to her advice, I went back to the Dr to say-hey you were right!
My freinds who reccomended I do this is in the medical field and told me that the Dr. would appreciate this a ton. Let me tell you-this goes a long way for the Dr. I explained to my Dr. that she was right and that I finally followed her advice and things were working out great for me. She was ecstatic and it was a positive impact for me.
Have a good one everyone!
My freinds who reccomended I do this is in the medical field and told me that the Dr. would appreciate this a ton. Let me tell you-this goes a long way for the Dr. I explained to my Dr. that she was right and that I finally followed her advice and things were working out great for me. She was ecstatic and it was a positive impact for me.
Have a good one everyone!
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