Jabbadabutt

"I have devloped a severe allergy to drinking alcohol that makes me not want to stop drinking until I get as high as i can get and f**k it all up once again". That would probably go over like a fart in church.

BoutDamnTime

"I'm allergic to Jail Food".
"See these pants? You want these pants to stay on, don't ya?"
"Sure, I'll have a glass. Epic benders don't start on their own, ya know? Wonder where this one will end up..."

Still not as good as CJ1's.

LexieCat

LOL, we should collect these.

"The red wine stains the porcelain in the toilet."

BoutDamnTime

"The red wine stains the porcelain in the toilet."

:rotfxko

Or "the back seat of the cruiser".

LexieCat

"Oh, waiter--excuse me, there seems to be a blackout in my glass."

BoutDamnTime

Heh. I like that one Lexie. I'm going to keep that one in the back of my mind where I store Monkee's lyrics and pull it out at the appropriate time.

Jabbadabutt

Day 9 underway and still going - I'm tired today. Been sleeping just okay. Lots of waking up periodically and wierd dreams. Work is pretty busy which is good. I think i am going to use the "I think I'm coming down with something like a cold" so I won't drink tonight excuse this weekend with the friends. It should work although that never would have stopped me in the past from drinking....and as a result I would certainly end up sick the next day or two with a cold.....but at the time i felt it was worth it. So not true.

BoutDamnTime

I have a healthy fear that if I hear people cheering each other on with their moderation efforts, I might somehow, some way, be susceptible to the niggling thought that MAYBE, if I tried it ONE MORE TIME....

This is from Lexie, much earlier in the thread.

I'm, of course, getting the same siren call. But think of this: Imagine that in the "social situations" you manage to drink a glass of wine and walk away. What did you gain other than a very, very dangerous glimpse back into the abyss?

I really don't want a medal for not getting totally ****-drunk and trying to hump the couch.

LaFemme

Not sure whether to laugh or gag!

I think attempting moderation would be even worse because if I was say successful at only having one drink in the beginning I would bee that much more tempted to think I could do it.

Nope, I've never tried moderation and never will:-)

CJ1

As I've said I've failed moderation several times. It just doesn't work for me. The worst part about it, is I feel I'm obsessing over alcohol all the time. What If I have just one more? When can I have the next drink? It's 2pm is it ok to have a drink now? Is 3 too many?

I find it much better to just quit and try to get it out of my mind completely.

Jabbadabutt

I agree. If you are asking yourself those kind of questions, moderation is not the path.

eremc08

:rotfxko OMG I almost fell off my bed laughing!

lildawg

Hmm . . . you could tell them you think you're coming down with a cold and that you took cold medicine containing acetaminophen. Google acetaminophen + alcohol and read all the stuff mixing the two can do to your body. If you do your research, you'll have ammo if your dining companions argue that it won't hurt "just this time."

You're in a potentially hard place with the wine dinner. I've been there before, and I don't envy you. My sincerest wishes for good luck on it.

Jabbadabutt

Thanks. My guess is that it will go fine. Once we get over that intial "you not drinking???" moment it will be okay and then the next time the glasses are filled or topped off there will be another comment I am sure about me not drinking and then we will move on.

It will probably be more awkward in my head than what it really is. Hey....but I gotta do it this time.....I have to.

Jabbadabutt

Ever done that? Geting up in the middle of the night (hours after you stopped drinking) to yack up your liquid fun....only to see basically pure red wine in the water bowl and wondering WTF????

Yeah....real fun.

What the h*ll was I thinking. That was a $40 bottle of Cab Sav!

CJ1

Happened to me more times than I can count. Of course it would be mixed with trace remnants of crackers, and perhaps a microwavable dinner.

SSIL75

This thread is making me laugh (and nod). I feel for the OP b/c I'm in a similar place. It's a joke, really (for me at least). I'm doing a kind of reasonable job of moderating but I'm obsessed. And hanging on by a thread. It's not the real clear headed joy I felt when I was sober (never for longer than 3 weeks).

I do feel like it's part of my recovery. But I'm aware too that I'm just giving myself permission to drink. Bleugh.

Sorry for the thread hijack. I can just relate.

eta: I have been sober for periods longer than 3 weeks but that was when I was pregnant. And not really living 'sober'. Pure dry drunk-ville. But in the past few months I've had periods of 'real' sobriety. The fulfilling kind. *sigh*

LaFemme

Ssil, just curious, if you know how great 100% sobriety is whynot just do it?

Supercrew

This thread really has hit home with the wife stuff, and the social situations. I am in the exact same boat. Me and the wife are good now, (took a week or 2), but I know even one drink will set the ball and chain rolling in a direction that might break me.

I did the moderation thing for many years, (meaning I would moderate for 1 out of 4 sessions), and even when I moderated I cheated, because it was always supposed to be 1 -2 drinks an hour, but it would end up 3-4 because I would have a shot or something, and when I moderated i always thought I was OK to drive. Anyways alot of trust was lost by my wife because she didn't really realize that I am an alcoholic, or what that really meant.

I have recently been able to really discuss my craving for alcohol with her, once it is in my system, and it kind of gave her an "Oh, I get it" moment. Which is good because now she has a better understanding of my problem, and why I did what I did, but bad (If I ever wanted to drink again, which I don't..as of now), because I have admitted that the only thing I can really control is not having the first drink. So she now knows that if I have one I am breaking the deal because I might not be able to control it after that, and I know it.

So it is a good thing for me because it will keep me honest in any situation, if I want to stay married...which I do.

As far as the social excuses, I just busted lose the bad news to a new friend that I acquired over the past year. (We coach together, and have drank together about 4 times). He drinks like I drank, yet he weighs about 70lbs more than me, and he likes to sit and drink pitcher after pitcher mixed with shots. I haven't drank with him in about 2 months, and he asked me yesterday if I wanted to stop by because he has a cooler full of ice cold ones left over from the weekend. I told him, "I don't drink anymore". He laughed and said, "what??? you in trouble with the wife again?" I said "no, met with the Dr., he said I couldn't anymore", he said "that sucks", and we picked our other conversation back up. This conversation was one I was dreading because i really like hanging out with this guy, and I thought he was gonna give me some crap, but he was cool, and life goes on. All my other drinking buddies know I'm a over indulger, and I don't really care what they say, because they all probably like me better sober anyways, because I have ruined many a night for all of them at one time or another being drunk.

Thanks for the thread and good luck on your sobriety!

SSIL75

I keep saying 'tomorrow'. That tonight I just want to feel the buzz whatever. I know it's not healthy and really not something logical or rational!