Former lurker.....now here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 426
Day 354. Coming down the homestretch to one year. Feels pretty damn good I gotta tell ya. I have become pretty comfortable in my skin lately. If I get asked why I am not drinking (like at a holiday party or something) I just kind of stare back at the other person and smile. They usually just carry on and leave me alone. If they press on further, I usually say I have to drive or feel like i'm getting sick or something.....and it all goes away. I still have not found the need to shout it from the hilltops to share my secret with everybody I know. Perhaps this is part of my problem and it will work against me someday. I just can not justify the trade off by being treated differently by people, or thought of as different. It's my deal.....and I plan on keeping it that way. I know I am so grateful that I found SR here so I can share and shout it from the rooftops without worry that I will be judged. This outlet is perfect for so many people (obviously) because this thread has over 8,000 views in the past year or so and I think the proof is in the pudding.
You have to be ready to quit.
You have to be ready for help.
You only have to ask.
You have to take an active part in helping yourself.
You have to not drink.
Those are the steps I have implemented among many other small baby steps in between those that got me here. I few basic principles I live by every day that have allowed me to learn more in the past year about addiction than I could have evr learned while still drinking. It really DOES require you to step outside of your soul and take a look from the outside.
I am not a role model. I am not "cured". However.......I am currently iving the life I was born to live.
Peace family.
You have to be ready to quit.
You have to be ready for help.
You only have to ask.
You have to take an active part in helping yourself.
You have to not drink.
Those are the steps I have implemented among many other small baby steps in between those that got me here. I few basic principles I live by every day that have allowed me to learn more in the past year about addiction than I could have evr learned while still drinking. It really DOES require you to step outside of your soul and take a look from the outside.
I am not a role model. I am not "cured". However.......I am currently iving the life I was born to live.
Peace family.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 426
Day 360.
360 --- now that is what this holiday season has been compared to last holiday season. I think 360 is quite fitting. What a difference. I am content. I am finally.....me.
I know I have talked about what I have learned over the past year of sobriety, and what I have noticed is that at some point in each day of my life, for a brief moment sometimes, I am reminded what some of those lessons are. Yesterday I was reminded of one of those things. I was reminded that I have a several amazing people in my life that makes being sober so very important. I have my amazingly understanding and forgiving wife and my two innocent and completely adorable duaghters. Their innocence inspires me to be a better person. I made a promise to them, at my lowest point, that I will not break. I am here today......and that is something they can count on for tomorrow as well.
360 --- now that is what this holiday season has been compared to last holiday season. I think 360 is quite fitting. What a difference. I am content. I am finally.....me.
I know I have talked about what I have learned over the past year of sobriety, and what I have noticed is that at some point in each day of my life, for a brief moment sometimes, I am reminded what some of those lessons are. Yesterday I was reminded of one of those things. I was reminded that I have a several amazing people in my life that makes being sober so very important. I have my amazingly understanding and forgiving wife and my two innocent and completely adorable duaghters. Their innocence inspires me to be a better person. I made a promise to them, at my lowest point, that I will not break. I am here today......and that is something they can count on for tomorrow as well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 426
A new year is here. 2011 started out as the worst year of my life but it ended up being the best year of my life. I finally was able to dig deep and confront my problem head on and seek help in the form of face to face counselling and group support here at SR. I thank the SR community for being there for me to listen to my babbling sometimes. I have received some very valuable and insightful comments from people here. Some and still around, some have disappeared, some are new. Whoever they are, they all seem to share a common theme here at SR, genuine concern and willingness to help. it is something that seems not possible in the days of spammers and idiots out to terrorize people without regard. SR is the real deal. It helps. I am so glad I googled "am I an alcoholic" much like SOOOO many of us have done.....and it lead me here to SR.
I went back to the beginning of my thread here (almost a year and a half ago) and started reading through it much like many of you have told me you have done. I refer to it often as a reminder of where I had been, to remind me where I am supposed to be going. I made it a year sober. Sober is really nice. I welcome the lack of complications it brings. I know I can NEVER go back. I live every day with that one mantra resonating in my head. It is so hard to think about "forever" but it seems possible to think about "never" instead.
Peace and Love.
I went back to the beginning of my thread here (almost a year and a half ago) and started reading through it much like many of you have told me you have done. I refer to it often as a reminder of where I had been, to remind me where I am supposed to be going. I made it a year sober. Sober is really nice. I welcome the lack of complications it brings. I know I can NEVER go back. I live every day with that one mantra resonating in my head. It is so hard to think about "forever" but it seems possible to think about "never" instead.
Peace and Love.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 426
It has been a bit since I posted last. I have still been here at SR reading posts every now and then but admittedly have not been posting very much. I have been super busy with "life" out there. You know, 2 kids, job, being sick or dealing with sick kids/wife, it never ends. But you know what, as bad as it seems sometimes. Being drunk or hungover only made it un-bearable in the past. I was too blind to see what drinking was doing to me at the time. It gave me a severe disadvantage for dealing with "life" effectivley. I know not drinking now gives me my full capacity to "handle" things.
It was only a little over a year ago when I put alcohol first and "life" second. Simply put, it does not work. Today.....I put life first. It makes all the difference.
It was only a little over a year ago when I put alcohol first and "life" second. Simply put, it does not work. Today.....I put life first. It makes all the difference.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 426
Thought I would "count the days" for the fun of it. 398.
Nothing too profound to say. I guess I am happy I can still count the days. I continue to learn and live, and live and learn. I am doing it sober. It is not so bad.
When I first got sober I was paralyzed with fear of never drinking again. I thought each and every day was going to be so painful, so uncomfortable, so hard. it was something that was soooo hard to let go. until I let it go.
Alcohol has nothing to do with what makes me who I am today. It used to control me, it was me. Today I am myself, I am normal. When I was drinking I wanted nothing more than to be normal, but continue to drink. It took the better part of a year to realize that being normal, meant not drinking.
Nothing too profound to say. I guess I am happy I can still count the days. I continue to learn and live, and live and learn. I am doing it sober. It is not so bad.
When I first got sober I was paralyzed with fear of never drinking again. I thought each and every day was going to be so painful, so uncomfortable, so hard. it was something that was soooo hard to let go. until I let it go.
Alcohol has nothing to do with what makes me who I am today. It used to control me, it was me. Today I am myself, I am normal. When I was drinking I wanted nothing more than to be normal, but continue to drink. It took the better part of a year to realize that being normal, meant not drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 426
432. When I was drinking I used to spend my days adding up the things that pissed me off, bothered me, or simply did not go my way. This used to result in drinking to erase those things. Today, I spend my days adding up the things I am grateful for, the things that are beautiful, and the true blessings in my life. Sure I have times when things are not perfect, but it is amazing how it does not get me down like it used to, I prevail. Life is beautiful. Not drinking was the first required step in getting to where I am today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 426
450. Just wanted to check in here with everybody. I have not had the time to contribute as much as I woudl like to SR. That time of year starting to get out in the yard and get some stuff done, fills up the small bit of freetime I can find. Its all good though. Life is still good - no matter what. Every day I continue to be blessed with two amazing (and cute) daughters and a great wife who gave me another chance to prove myself. I plan to never let them down again. I am inspired every single day to be a better man. Being sober gives me a fighting chance at succeeding.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
