Just got a new job, kinda nervous tho...
Karma Amputee
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
OK well, I got through my first three shifts. Made good money, worked very hard, got some soreness in my knees and lower back. But never even came close to drinking or seriously thinking about it. One thing is for sure, bartending sober is different than bartending as a drinker, or as a bartender directly under the influence. Hard to explain exactly but my tolerance for the negative (stupid, ignorant, sad) effects of alcohol on people is lower than it ever was in the past. It's not to the point where I can't do it, but the mask I wear, and the character I play behind the bar requires finer tuning, that's for sure. Most of the customers are normal drinkers, decent professional people just out for dinner, drinks and a nice time. These people are easy to please and I enjoy serving them and entertaining them with my personality. It's the very small handful of heavy drinkers we have that I have to get used to and set boundaries with; there is one fellow in particular who has already distinguished himself as the "town drunk" so to speak, he drinks more and drinks faster than everyone and it shows with what he says and how he says it. I need to figure out how to deal with him because he's a "regular" who nobody on the staff seems to want to slow down, or shut off for fear of offending him, losing their tip, and/or potentially losing him as a regular paying customer. Trust me, I know what else can be lost (our liquor license, my job, his life, or the life of another) if this keeps up and that's why this customer is on my mind more than all the others.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Thanks for checking in--was wondering how the new job was going.
Sounds like a great report.
Not sure I could do it, myself, but then I know plenty of people who say they couldn't do MY job. As long as you are on good ground with your sobriety, you should be fine.
Keep us posted!
Sounds like a great report.
Not sure I could do it, myself, but then I know plenty of people who say they couldn't do MY job. As long as you are on good ground with your sobriety, you should be fine.
Keep us posted!
Karma Amputee
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
I DO feel on solid ground in terms of my sobriety.
If I wasn't there is no way I would want to be doing this job, that's for sure but by the same token if I was gonna drink, it would not matter where I worked, or even if I worked with alcohol or not. Alcohol is everywhere and I really can't avoid it totally, it's a part of our culture, just not a part of my life directly, internally. Yet there it is in (and on) my hands now three nights a week. I have told a few people there that I don't drink, I play it like I'm that guy who never really got into drinking and who just doesn't drink. There are such people in the world and professionally speaking, I am playing one of them. Nobody has any reason to doubt my story and the truth has no place in my current workplace, at least as far as how I see it. When I am "on", I am that friendly, talented, outgoing guy behind the bar who just happens not to drink, if that even matters. When I'm "off", I'm the real sober me who is glad to have such a place as SR to come to to vent and be honest.
I guess I truly need both sides of that coin to be safe & successful in what I am doing.
If I wasn't there is no way I would want to be doing this job, that's for sure but by the same token if I was gonna drink, it would not matter where I worked, or even if I worked with alcohol or not. Alcohol is everywhere and I really can't avoid it totally, it's a part of our culture, just not a part of my life directly, internally. Yet there it is in (and on) my hands now three nights a week. I have told a few people there that I don't drink, I play it like I'm that guy who never really got into drinking and who just doesn't drink. There are such people in the world and professionally speaking, I am playing one of them. Nobody has any reason to doubt my story and the truth has no place in my current workplace, at least as far as how I see it. When I am "on", I am that friendly, talented, outgoing guy behind the bar who just happens not to drink, if that even matters. When I'm "off", I'm the real sober me who is glad to have such a place as SR to come to to vent and be honest.
I guess I truly need both sides of that coin to be safe & successful in what I am doing.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,907
I remember back to when I got my DWI. I had left a bar where a friend and I had spent several hours drinking. I can remember having 6 or 7 beers, a couple of rum and cokes and about 3 jello shots, and that's only what I can remember. I'm sure I had more and I don't even remember crawling into my car to drive home. I was an idiot and I got caught being an idiot and had to pay the price. Some of my friends said I should sue the bar because I was so obviously intoxicated and they kept serving me. I really did think about it, but decided against it because I had enough on my plate dealing with the fallout of my DWI.
Not only should the owners of the bar you work at stop serving that "regular" customer as soon as he appears inebriated, they should tell him that they are not only protecting themselves, they are also protecting him and other innocent people out on the roads. All it would take is one lawsuit to ruin them. Losing a paying customer isn't nearly as bad as losing your livelihood.
Not only should the owners of the bar you work at stop serving that "regular" customer as soon as he appears inebriated, they should tell him that they are not only protecting themselves, they are also protecting him and other innocent people out on the roads. All it would take is one lawsuit to ruin them. Losing a paying customer isn't nearly as bad as losing your livelihood.
Karma Amputee
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Well, the new bartending job didn't work out.
They failed to tell me that what they were really doing was running live tryouts, and they decided on somebody else after telling me the job was mine and after I worked three very busy shifts. They were dishonest with me from the get-go. Oh well, you win some you lose some and in the end it clearly was not meant to be. For the most part, I think I was OK working with alcohol itself but it was more difficult than I thought working around people who were consuming alcohol (some less responsibly than others) and showing it's effects. I've grown and matured so much since getting sober and being around people like that under the influence was a challenge for me. Not sure if I will continue to seek a bartending gig or move on from it finally, but the fact of the matter is (and I can't hide from this or really pretend effectively) I don't want to be associated with alcohol any longer, and even a sober bartender is ASSOSIATED with alcohol in a way that most people are not. People might say, oh what do you do for work? And if I have to say I bartend, assumptions will immediately be made about me and I doubt anyone will assume that I don't drink, quite the opposite in fact and hey can you make me a Mojito? People will assume I am fine around alcohol and drinking, he must be right that's what he does all night long. It makes me seem all too comfortable with alcohol and drinking when in fact I am not, at least not in situations that I don't control or set the boundries.
So for nearly the past two years I have moved away from and said my goodbyes to alcohol, I really have and I'm OK with that. I feel I am in the final stage of acceptance in my "grieving" process over the loss of an old friend. The last thing I really need now is to let alcohol back into my life in such a big way.
Disappointed, kinda mad too...but relieved in a way.
They failed to tell me that what they were really doing was running live tryouts, and they decided on somebody else after telling me the job was mine and after I worked three very busy shifts. They were dishonest with me from the get-go. Oh well, you win some you lose some and in the end it clearly was not meant to be. For the most part, I think I was OK working with alcohol itself but it was more difficult than I thought working around people who were consuming alcohol (some less responsibly than others) and showing it's effects. I've grown and matured so much since getting sober and being around people like that under the influence was a challenge for me. Not sure if I will continue to seek a bartending gig or move on from it finally, but the fact of the matter is (and I can't hide from this or really pretend effectively) I don't want to be associated with alcohol any longer, and even a sober bartender is ASSOSIATED with alcohol in a way that most people are not. People might say, oh what do you do for work? And if I have to say I bartend, assumptions will immediately be made about me and I doubt anyone will assume that I don't drink, quite the opposite in fact and hey can you make me a Mojito? People will assume I am fine around alcohol and drinking, he must be right that's what he does all night long. It makes me seem all too comfortable with alcohol and drinking when in fact I am not, at least not in situations that I don't control or set the boundries.
So for nearly the past two years I have moved away from and said my goodbyes to alcohol, I really have and I'm OK with that. I feel I am in the final stage of acceptance in my "grieving" process over the loss of an old friend. The last thing I really need now is to let alcohol back into my life in such a big way.
Disappointed, kinda mad too...but relieved in a way.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Thanks for sharing man.
Things often happen for a reason, it may be a blessing in disguise.
I feel very similar to the way you describe alcohol too. I don't wish to be around it or be around people heavily under the influence of it. It is a past life now and that's where it needs to stay.
I think the day I ever got 'comfortable' around booze again might be the day when my recovery is at risk. I must never forget that alcohol is poison to me and that to drink it is to die.
All The Best.
Things often happen for a reason, it may be a blessing in disguise.
I feel very similar to the way you describe alcohol too. I don't wish to be around it or be around people heavily under the influence of it. It is a past life now and that's where it needs to stay.
I think the day I ever got 'comfortable' around booze again might be the day when my recovery is at risk. I must never forget that alcohol is poison to me and that to drink it is to die.
All The Best.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Aw Getr I would be mad too! That is so dishonest, and just not very nice! Who knows how many other job opportunities you may have missed thinking you had a steady job!!
But, it was a learning experience. You were strong in your recovery, and you stayed strong, and I commend you for that. You were tested, and you passed!! Yay!!
I hope you can find another job soon, one away from alcohol. You are an inspiration to all the people who are still having a hard time being around alcohol.
But, it was a learning experience. You were strong in your recovery, and you stayed strong, and I commend you for that. You were tested, and you passed!! Yay!!
I hope you can find another job soon, one away from alcohol. You are an inspiration to all the people who are still having a hard time being around alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 438
I am so sorry that happened...what a sh!tty way to treat someone. I admire your healthy attitude, though...you'll attract another job a lot faster if you're feeling good about whatever is going on in your life presently. Sending good thoughts to you...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 163
Well, the new bartending job didn't work out.
They failed to tell me that what they were really doing was running live tryouts, and they decided on somebody else after telling me the job was mine and after I worked three very busy shifts. They were dishonest with me from the get-go.
It's also called "promissory estoppel", quite possibly, and a civil tort.
They failed to tell me that what they were really doing was running live tryouts, and they decided on somebody else after telling me the job was mine and after I worked three very busy shifts. They were dishonest with me from the get-go.
It's also called "promissory estoppel", quite possibly, and a civil tort.
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