Hi, I would like some help getting sober...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3
Hi, I would like some help getting sober...
I know that sounds really lame because nobody can help me but myself, but right now I don't have anybody in my life that I can share this problem with. My fiance is my best friend in the world, but she's going through so much on her own due to some health problems and the loss of her job, and she's there for me, but I feel terrible trying to rely on her. Also, until she moves down here in 3 months or so, I have absolutely nobody to turn to.
I have read that the first step is admitting you have a problem, so that's why I am here.... I have a problem and I need some help finding the right resources to cope with my addictions.
Thanks for reading this, at least this way I know somebody will read it. Thanks for your time.
I have read that the first step is admitting you have a problem, so that's why I am here.... I have a problem and I need some help finding the right resources to cope with my addictions.
Thanks for reading this, at least this way I know somebody will read it. Thanks for your time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: London
Posts: 266
Hello lostinstl,
Welcome to SR. You are right. No way of dealing with a problem if we do not know there is one. Mine is alcohol and SR has been an incredible help for the last two months. Others around here have very long time sober or clean. Others are still using but we are all using this website as a very useful tool.
Do you have any 'plan' for your recovery?
Welcome to SR. You are right. No way of dealing with a problem if we do not know there is one. Mine is alcohol and SR has been an incredible help for the last two months. Others around here have very long time sober or clean. Others are still using but we are all using this website as a very useful tool.
Do you have any 'plan' for your recovery?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3
Start by going to bed sober (now) and waking up sober and taking it 1 day at a time, hopefully coming here to the chat room daily when I feel the need to use (I'm able to get online at work on an unmonitored connection from my phone don't worry =p ) and post updates. I'm also going to try and find a meeting locally that works for me, but I'm very shy and I know a lot of people professionally who are in AA and NA and I cannot have them see me there. I know it's confidential and they could never act upon it, but I've seen far more cut-throat things happen. Maybe go out of town 20-30 miles?
Either way, I will post again tomorrow after a night of sleep and a sober morning. Thank you so much for replying, it feels more real now. This post can serve as my sobriety date =) TY
Either way, I will post again tomorrow after a night of sleep and a sober morning. Thank you so much for replying, it feels more real now. This post can serve as my sobriety date =) TY
The anonymity aspect of AA/NA is real. What could these people possibly do to you? If your anony ity is violated you could easily violate theirs right back.
They are either there because the messed up and got court ordered or because they are just like you and want help.
Hi there, just want to welcome you to SR, so many wonderful people, lots of support and great i nfo. I hope you were able to make a day 1. Be strong, keep posting, we are here for you!
Hi and welcome!
The people here are great and a wonderful asset to recovery. There are many ways to get sober so I suggest you read as many o the forums as possible. If you stay with AA I would trust people to remain confidential on the meetings, isn't that the whole point.
Have a happy sober Monday!
The people here are great and a wonderful asset to recovery. There are many ways to get sober so I suggest you read as many o the forums as possible. If you stay with AA I would trust people to remain confidential on the meetings, isn't that the whole point.
Have a happy sober Monday!
Welcome,
There is a lot of helpful information on these boards, and some great support. Personally, though, I think face-to-face support is the MOST helpful. It sounds as if you are feeling very alone and isolated right now, and just getting around PEOPLE who understand what you are going through is a big relief.
I wouldn't worry too much about running into folks you know. People in AA (and, I would assume, NA) are VERY conscientious about protecting each other's anonymity. It feels a little odd the first couple of times it happens (it's happened for me a handful of times), but it was always fine.
Good for you for looking at your problem head-on and taking the first steps to dealing with it.
There is a lot of helpful information on these boards, and some great support. Personally, though, I think face-to-face support is the MOST helpful. It sounds as if you are feeling very alone and isolated right now, and just getting around PEOPLE who understand what you are going through is a big relief.
I wouldn't worry too much about running into folks you know. People in AA (and, I would assume, NA) are VERY conscientious about protecting each other's anonymity. It feels a little odd the first couple of times it happens (it's happened for me a handful of times), but it was always fine.
Good for you for looking at your problem head-on and taking the first steps to dealing with it.
Welcome lostinstl - it's wonderful you found us.
I'm shy, too & that's one reason I found SR so helpful. I look back to 3 yrs. ago & can't believe I was afraid to make my first post. I became a daily visitor here after I received such a warm welcome. A few months after joining I finally had the inspiration and courage I needed to give up a lifelong dependency on alcohol. I hope you'll keep posting and reading and find it as freeing as I did. Knowing I wasn't alone anymore was huge to me. I felt a burden lifted off me that I'd been carrying for many years - no one in my life understood, since they were all social drinkers who hadn't a clue what a fight it was to stay sober.
You have a new life starting soon, and you can face it clear headed and free. Congratulations on making this decision. Let us know how it's going.
I'm shy, too & that's one reason I found SR so helpful. I look back to 3 yrs. ago & can't believe I was afraid to make my first post. I became a daily visitor here after I received such a warm welcome. A few months after joining I finally had the inspiration and courage I needed to give up a lifelong dependency on alcohol. I hope you'll keep posting and reading and find it as freeing as I did. Knowing I wasn't alone anymore was huge to me. I felt a burden lifted off me that I'd been carrying for many years - no one in my life understood, since they were all social drinkers who hadn't a clue what a fight it was to stay sober.
You have a new life starting soon, and you can face it clear headed and free. Congratulations on making this decision. Let us know how it's going.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: England
Posts: 137
Hi,
I am new here as well, and just looking around the site. I read your post and know how you feel if anyone should recognise you at the meeting, but lets look at it sensibly. Anyone who knows you means that you will know them also, I think that they would be just as mortified to be seen in an alcholol recovery meeting and therefore are very unlikely to be telling anyone else about it, and probably most people that know us already know that we have an alcohol problem whether they say they do or not, so really there is nothing new to be telling.
Hope you like it here there seems to be many sensible people here to help, advise and chat to us.
Good luck
I am new here as well, and just looking around the site. I read your post and know how you feel if anyone should recognise you at the meeting, but lets look at it sensibly. Anyone who knows you means that you will know them also, I think that they would be just as mortified to be seen in an alcholol recovery meeting and therefore are very unlikely to be telling anyone else about it, and probably most people that know us already know that we have an alcohol problem whether they say they do or not, so really there is nothing new to be telling.
Hope you like it here there seems to be many sensible people here to help, advise and chat to us.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 28
Welcome to SR! I'm new here myself but I can tell you that you've just found a great group of people and this is a good first step.
Just think, you have 3months before your fiance moves. Use this time to head down the right path and sober up. I can gaurantee this will make your life, and hers so much better.
Your not alone, myself and many others on SR are just starting our like you, glad you joined us!
Just think, you have 3months before your fiance moves. Use this time to head down the right path and sober up. I can gaurantee this will make your life, and hers so much better.
Your not alone, myself and many others on SR are just starting our like you, glad you joined us!
Heh,
The "mortification" factor goes away pretty quickly, in my experience. There is nothing inherently shameful about becoming addicted. Nobody sets out to do it.
Part of the recovery work we do allows us to accept ourselves for who we are. Mostly it's newcomers who worry about being "found out" as members of a recovery program. We still respect everyone's right to privacy and wouldn't dream of gossiping about it, no matter how open someone is about his/her recovery. The only one with a right to "break anonymity" is the person him/herself.
The "mortification" factor goes away pretty quickly, in my experience. There is nothing inherently shameful about becoming addicted. Nobody sets out to do it.
Part of the recovery work we do allows us to accept ourselves for who we are. Mostly it's newcomers who worry about being "found out" as members of a recovery program. We still respect everyone's right to privacy and wouldn't dream of gossiping about it, no matter how open someone is about his/her recovery. The only one with a right to "break anonymity" is the person him/herself.
I agree completely with Lexie, there is nothing shameful about gettin help.
Everyone is different but one of the things I found really helpful was going to the library and reading books on alcoholism and recovery, I didn't want to buy them because I didn't want the cashier to think I was an alcoholic...LOL:-) anyway, I found the fact that the books on alcohol abuse at my library where the most used books I ever saw there very comforting..in addition to learning I took a lot of comfort in knowing how many others had read those books as well:-)
Everyone is different but one of the things I found really helpful was going to the library and reading books on alcoholism and recovery, I didn't want to buy them because I didn't want the cashier to think I was an alcoholic...LOL:-) anyway, I found the fact that the books on alcohol abuse at my library where the most used books I ever saw there very comforting..in addition to learning I took a lot of comfort in knowing how many others had read those books as well:-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Heh,
The "mortification" factor goes away pretty quickly, in my experience. There is nothing inherently shameful about becoming addicted. Nobody sets out to do it.
Part of the recovery work we do allows us to accept ourselves for who we are. Mostly it's newcomers who worry about being "found out" as members of a recovery program. We still respect everyone's right to privacy and wouldn't dream of gossiping about it, no matter how open someone is about his/her recovery. The only one with a right to "break anonymity" is the person him/herself.
The "mortification" factor goes away pretty quickly, in my experience. There is nothing inherently shameful about becoming addicted. Nobody sets out to do it.
Part of the recovery work we do allows us to accept ourselves for who we are. Mostly it's newcomers who worry about being "found out" as members of a recovery program. We still respect everyone's right to privacy and wouldn't dream of gossiping about it, no matter how open someone is about his/her recovery. The only one with a right to "break anonymity" is the person him/herself.
Why is it that we can be drunk, out of control, dangerous and stupid, and that is okay, but when we get help, stop drinking and improve our lives we have to be ashamed, anonymous and mortified?
I'm an alcoholic. I don't drink anymore. I know I have a disease and I seek help to keep it from coming out of remission. No, I don't feel mortified, I feel grateful and okay. (And yes, a little proud of myself for doing it!)
Hi lost - glad you're here! It takes courage to make that first post, much less walk into a group of people and admit you need help. Once you have a little sobriety under your belt, however, that feeling of shame/embarrassment turns to confidence and feeling good about what you're doing.
It took me several weeks to begin to feel the ground was solid again under my feet, so since you're right at the starting gate, don't worry about AA today or tomorrow if it's too overwhelming. Just take a pledge not to drink for today and treat it as THE most important job you have for the next 24 hours. Stay focused in the moment and let the rest come in time.
I'm proud of you for getting help. Hope you'll keep posting and reading!
It took me several weeks to begin to feel the ground was solid again under my feet, so since you're right at the starting gate, don't worry about AA today or tomorrow if it's too overwhelming. Just take a pledge not to drink for today and treat it as THE most important job you have for the next 24 hours. Stay focused in the moment and let the rest come in time.
I'm proud of you for getting help. Hope you'll keep posting and reading!
Lost -
I don't know what you do but I'm a financial planner / broker / investment advisor. I've met co-workers in AA, clients in AA, a couple priests (one of whom is my church's pastor), attorneys, a county prosecutor, local business owners, you name it. Not one of them wasn't greeted with a smile by me or they greeted me with a smile if they were there before me. It's not like ppl go to AA to see who the drunks are. If they're there, they are there for the same reason you're there.
In reality, my relationship with clients I've met in AA has made our "working" relationship MORE sound. They know I'm doing my best to stay on the spiritual plane just like they are. They know from my actions that I'm FAR LESS likely to treat them poorly or screw them over than 99.999% of the ppl out in the world NOT trying to work a spiritual recovery program.
Even the guy who's the prosecutor - he prosecuted a lot of the ppl for DWI's that show up in his home group - will tell you that being in AA has HELPED his career FAR more than hurt it.
I don't know what you do but I'm a financial planner / broker / investment advisor. I've met co-workers in AA, clients in AA, a couple priests (one of whom is my church's pastor), attorneys, a county prosecutor, local business owners, you name it. Not one of them wasn't greeted with a smile by me or they greeted me with a smile if they were there before me. It's not like ppl go to AA to see who the drunks are. If they're there, they are there for the same reason you're there.
In reality, my relationship with clients I've met in AA has made our "working" relationship MORE sound. They know I'm doing my best to stay on the spiritual plane just like they are. They know from my actions that I'm FAR LESS likely to treat them poorly or screw them over than 99.999% of the ppl out in the world NOT trying to work a spiritual recovery program.
Even the guy who's the prosecutor - he prosecuted a lot of the ppl for DWI's that show up in his home group - will tell you that being in AA has HELPED his career FAR more than hurt it.
I know just how you feel about being seen at a meeting. That was a big hangup for me at first and I eventualy went to a meeting that wasn't in my area. I've been to a number of different meetings in the past 6 months and I found that both meetings and this site have a lot to offer.
At this site I got a lot more information and found that some of the info I got at meetings was either too vauge or not informitive. If you have any type of questions or just need to vent, this is a great site for both . You will find a lot of great people here with lots of exspirience. And you will also find a lot of people here just like yourself. I myself have relapsed several times in the past 6 months and am only 29 days sober, the longest being 37 days. At first I felt like I wasn't going to beable to do this, but now I look at it as part of the process for myself. One important thing I wan't to say about relapses..."YOU DON'T WANT TO GO THERE!!! It has been the absolute worse part of my recovery. But I guess that is what it took for me to hit my rock bottom.
Keep posting, ask all the questions you want (even if it seems like a stupid or insignificant question), or just update us on how your doing, even if it means your drinking again.
Dune
At this site I got a lot more information and found that some of the info I got at meetings was either too vauge or not informitive. If you have any type of questions or just need to vent, this is a great site for both . You will find a lot of great people here with lots of exspirience. And you will also find a lot of people here just like yourself. I myself have relapsed several times in the past 6 months and am only 29 days sober, the longest being 37 days. At first I felt like I wasn't going to beable to do this, but now I look at it as part of the process for myself. One important thing I wan't to say about relapses..."YOU DON'T WANT TO GO THERE!!! It has been the absolute worse part of my recovery. But I guess that is what it took for me to hit my rock bottom.
Keep posting, ask all the questions you want (even if it seems like a stupid or insignificant question), or just update us on how your doing, even if it means your drinking again.
Dune
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