stayingstraight

Hi everybody. Well, yesterday was quite a challenge for me. One of my best drinking buddies of 20 years just lost his sister yesterday to kidney failure. One of our mutual, but now sober friends called me and told me. So, I called him and told him I was sorry for yet another of his losses (he just lost his mom not too long ago as well). I went and picked him up and we went and did a little shopping to get his mind off of it a little and so that he would get out of the house for a little while. I made sure his had something to eat and had his favorite comfort foods and then I left after I was sure his roomate and friend was going to be home within an hour. That way he wouldn't be alone too long. He's doing good though. I called him up later in the evening and he was drunk and on his way to the club he goes to every Saturday. Although I was glad to hear it, I was kinda shocked that he wasn't going to sit this one out. But...everybody grieves in their own way. So, between seeing my old drinking buddy under these circumstances and arguing with my boyfriend, I had a really tough day. I still am not feeling right about our relationship. We had a good hashing out session yeasterday but it still didn't change anything. I was really hurting for that old familiar comfort yesterday. I have to somehow get back on track with my thinking. I feel like I was doing really good with handling the cravings. Now I'm feeling weak. Yesterday was six weeks for me. I think I need to find a social outlet that doesn't have anything to do with alcohol. Between work, school and home life, I haven't been doing much of anything. My boyfriend and I hardly go anywhere together. I can't remember the last time we went out just the two of us without kids. Seems like since I quit drinking, we don't go anywhere. Part of that is my fault because I don't want to be tempted and not be able to handle it. July 23rd was his birthday and his friend came by with a beer in his hand (outside) and asked him if he wanted to go to the bowling alley and drink and bowl. He said no because I wasn't drinking and he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable. So he stayed home. I thoguht that was a nice show of support from him. He's not much of a drinker anyway. He has dealt and is dealing with or not dealing with, other habits. Well, sorry to be so long winded. Just wanted to update ya'll on my not so smooth life for right now. I know this will change. I'm trying to stay positive. And I'm getting back on track with focusing on my own sobriety. Man, it's so easy to get caught up. Thanks for listening. SS

LaFemme

Hey SS, you said you had a sober friend in the beginning of your post...perhaps you could ado something witht them? Maybe you and the BF should schedule a date night, dinner and a movie?

Stay strong and congrats on 6 weeks!

Anna

Hi,

I'm glad you posted.

It sounds like you see that you need to make some more adjustments in your life in order to get through this. And, finding another social outlet where you can feel comfortable is a good idea.

stayingstraight

I know at my age I should have a better idea of what I enjoy doing. I do like to do certain things like boating, fishing, baseball games, cooking and watching movies. Seems like I should have a hobby. You know like painting, reading, scrapbooking or something like that. My hobby was drinking. So, I'm trying to figure me out - sober. I wasn't drunk 24/7. But I wouldn't go more than 3 or 4 days without it. And if I did, I would go on a two day binge. Anyway, as far as making more adjustments...I'm clueless. I don't hang out too long with people I use to drink with. In fact, there are only 2 of them that I even speak to anymore. And I don't hang out with them on a regular basis. I stop and think about it before I go out anywhere. And I make preparation in case there is temptation. What else do I need to do? Please post some suggestions. I'm open. Thanks, SS

stayingstraight

A date night is a good idea. I thought about that. I just haven't done it because of our schedules and I haven't been exactly happy with him lately. But things have calmed down a little inside of me since I decided to focus on myself instead of him again. I woke this morning feeling much more energetic and less weighted down. Yesterday was hard. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work tommorrow! He's going to Miami to work for the next few days too. So that will give us time apart and time to think about things. We hashed it out a pretty good yesterday. I had the worst headache when I went to bed last night. But going through that and reading on here has made me realize that I was losing focus on my own sobriety. I needed to recenter my thoughts. Readjust my thought process. Needless to say, I feel a lot better. Thanks for all the posts. SS.

Dee74

I'm assuming this the same bf you wrote about in other threads, SS?
I won't rehash but you're right to focus on yourself.

D

artsoul

Hang in there, SS - I felt like I was holding on by the skin of my teeth a few times, too. A hobby or interest sounds like a good idea, like learning to knit (make scarves or afghans for Christmas gifts), photography, Facebook, researching your family tree, making a big abstract canvas for your wall, collecting recipes...... I had a good time a couple years ago making DVD's for my parents' 80th birthdays (of all their photos through the years, with music, etc.), and did ones for my kids, too.

Since I've been sober, I've cleaned out my closet (which I'd left a mess for years), and have rearranged some furniture and gotten a little more organized.

Just a few things that come to mind...............

Also, sometimes a self-help book or positive thinking book can also contribute to dealing with depression and anxiety.

You can get through it - just remember one day at a time, and things always look better in the morning (without a hangover!)

stayingstraight

I'm working on a paper for school. It has to be 2,000 words. I've got 1400 so far. The rough draft is due today. I should have started it sooner. But that's okay, I'm almost done. Thank God. Yeah Dee74, same guy. I'm not as fast as I use to be! I'll take that day by day too. He's acting more like himself after we had it out yesterday. Time will tell. And Artsoul, thanks for the suggestions. Especially the one regarding cleaning out your closets. I've been meaning to do that. Today I got rid of a bunch of stuff from my garage. I want to turn the garage into a play room for my daughter and her friends when they come over. Like an alternative living room. I'm gonna lay down some indoor/outdoor carpet and move my old loveseat in there and put either a ping pong table or a pool table in it. I'll probably buy one of those mini fridges and put it in there for soda and juicie boxes for them. It will take a little time but I think it would be cool. It's a mere vision for right now. But I think I can make it happen. I need to paint some of my walls and of course clean the carpet again. More projects that will take up any idle time on my hands. Instead of drinking, I'll be productive. SS