Newbie, here's my first post
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 13
Newbie, here's my first post
It's Day 1 for me, again. Just found this website. I was wondering if there are online AA meetings on this website, if so, how and where do I attend them? I'm thinking of attending the 10:30 women's meeting near my house. I've never been to it. Actually, it will be my 2nd AA meeting since I moved to this city 9 years ago. I've must get serious about my sobriety. I feel like such a weakling. My husband is so confused. There's no way he can control me, it's never worked in the past so he doesn't even try anymore. He knows I'll do what I want when it comes to drinking. Anyway, he said if you don't want us to drink we won't. Just tell me what you want me to do. So I'm all on the no drinking bandwagon all week long. Then last night at dinner I ordered wine. He said hey, I thought we weren't drinking. I insisted on wine anyway. Well I stopped at two glasses rather than the 25. We came home and he kept drinking, I did not. It wasn't hard either, I just didn't feel like it. Anyway, this morning I woke up with new resolve to quit. I'm sure when he wakes up (with a hangover) he'll think I'm a complete nut case. He probably feels like a yo-yo, it's not fair to him. I need to get serious, I need help, I need a sponsor. Never had one before. That's my story. Hope to make some friends on this site. I have no one other than my husband that I can talk to about this. Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 275
Hello and welcome, you found a great site! I am approching 30 days and this place has been priceless. There are chat meetings here, I just haven't participated yet, can't say much 'bout that. Just read a lot, especially the newcomers section and post often...it's a really big help/source of support. Everybody here is super kind/helpful. Good job on the wine stopping at 2, shows you have resolve...I just can't, it's beer for me...one beer and I just have to have 10-15 more!! I have to stop completely. Best wishes!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 13
Thanks Texas, I was born and raised in San Antonio, moved to Colorado 9 yrs ago. Sure miss the tex-mex down south.
Anway, I've got to learn how to navigate around this site, don't quite have the hang of it yet. I just posted an avatar, the name of the photo is called "Seen Better Days." That's where I'm headed. Thanks for reaching out, congrats on 30 days, wow, can't wait till I can say 30 days, good job.
Anway, I've got to learn how to navigate around this site, don't quite have the hang of it yet. I just posted an avatar, the name of the photo is called "Seen Better Days." That's where I'm headed. Thanks for reaching out, congrats on 30 days, wow, can't wait till I can say 30 days, good job.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Welcome, cokat,
I haven't done any of the online meetings here, but I have chatted in the chatroom--it's easy and accessible. The meeting times are listed.
I think when you're new to recovery, though, the face-to-face meetings are crucial. I isolated myself when I drank, and by doing the recommended 90 meetings in 90 days (sounds like a lot until you consider how much time you wasted drinking or recovering from drinking), I got very focused on my recovery and got to know a lot of people quickly. It also breaks up your drinking routine, and gives you a place to go and something to do during the times you would otherwise be drinking.
When I quit drinking, I was, like you, SOMETIMES able to control my drinking. It wasn't reliable or consistent, though, and I would always find myself drinking more and more on a progressive basis.
Good luck, quitting drinking was the best thing I've ever done for myself.
I haven't done any of the online meetings here, but I have chatted in the chatroom--it's easy and accessible. The meeting times are listed.
I think when you're new to recovery, though, the face-to-face meetings are crucial. I isolated myself when I drank, and by doing the recommended 90 meetings in 90 days (sounds like a lot until you consider how much time you wasted drinking or recovering from drinking), I got very focused on my recovery and got to know a lot of people quickly. It also breaks up your drinking routine, and gives you a place to go and something to do during the times you would otherwise be drinking.
When I quit drinking, I was, like you, SOMETIMES able to control my drinking. It wasn't reliable or consistent, though, and I would always find myself drinking more and more on a progressive basis.
Good luck, quitting drinking was the best thing I've ever done for myself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
Welcome again (I just welcomed you and Haon on another thread). LOL.
Congrats on your decision to take your life back.
Why not try the next women's meeting near your house? As I said on the other thread, for me, face-to-face support was important and I got that in AA in early sobriety. No harm in trying...
Other than that, this newcomers' forum is a great place to being gathering information; check out the stickies at the very top of the forum...they contain valuable info.
SR is amazing; wonderful supportive people, available 24/7 and it's free!
Congrats on your decision to take your life back.
Why not try the next women's meeting near your house? As I said on the other thread, for me, face-to-face support was important and I got that in AA in early sobriety. No harm in trying...
Other than that, this newcomers' forum is a great place to being gathering information; check out the stickies at the very top of the forum...they contain valuable info.
SR is amazing; wonderful supportive people, available 24/7 and it's free!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 13
Hello LexieCat, thanks for sharing. I'm feel terrible going to the AA meeting this morning only to admit that I drank again last night. Part of me doesn't want to go but I must do it. I didn't know 90 meetings in 90 days was recommended, wow, that's a lot of meetings.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
welcome. Yeah, 90 in 90 sounds like a lot. . .but once you start going regularly, you may find you don't want to go through a day without one. or two. I know that is how I feel. I am approaching 60 days, and AA has helped me tremendously.
I understand how your husband feels. The thing is, no one can make you stop drinking. your husband cannot "fix" you. You have to want to stop, be ready to stop and take action and control of your life. I know it has been hard on my husband to know that he wanted me to control my drinking for so long, and now I have quit, and it didn't have anything to do with him. Or at least not all to do with him.
Stick around and keep going to those meetings. Even if I don't feel like going on a particular day, I still go. I am always glad I did.
I understand how your husband feels. The thing is, no one can make you stop drinking. your husband cannot "fix" you. You have to want to stop, be ready to stop and take action and control of your life. I know it has been hard on my husband to know that he wanted me to control my drinking for so long, and now I have quit, and it didn't have anything to do with him. Or at least not all to do with him.
Stick around and keep going to those meetings. Even if I don't feel like going on a particular day, I still go. I am always glad I did.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Fredonia N.Y
Posts: 44
welcome Cokat, i think you found the right place to talk.. i am also new to this site (a couple weeks now) and i am like you i have very very little people to talk to... maybe one if i am lucky... this site has helped me alot so far... i read alot... its so nice to here that there are people just like you... i no longer feel soo alone..... i do still but in different ways
again welcome and hope to here more from you... also congrats on stopping... and good luck to you
Jen
again welcome and hope to here more from you... also congrats on stopping... and good luck to you
Jen
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi cokat! First I agree with what everyone else says about SR. It has been invaluable for me, today is 20 for me and I never made it past 7 before:-)
I don't go to AA, but I think you should go even if you feel bad about drinking the night before...I am pretty certain you would not be the first person to go to a meeting the day after drinking:-)
And since you are planning the AA road, perhaps your husband should consider Al Anon, but others here might be better able to advise you about that suggestion. Good luck!
I don't go to AA, but I think you should go even if you feel bad about drinking the night before...I am pretty certain you would not be the first person to go to a meeting the day after drinking:-)
And since you are planning the AA road, perhaps your husband should consider Al Anon, but others here might be better able to advise you about that suggestion. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
Welcome Cokat to the SoberRecovery Forums. You'll find a lot of help and support here.
I had to chuckle a little when you said, "I didn't know 90 meetings in 90 days was recommended, wow, that's a lot of meetings."
I didn't know that 25 glasses of wine were recommended , wow, that's a lot of wine. Just a little sense of humor. Sometimes, I found, laughter is good medicine.
Keep coming, it gets better.
Harry
I had to chuckle a little when you said, "I didn't know 90 meetings in 90 days was recommended, wow, that's a lot of meetings."
I didn't know that 25 glasses of wine were recommended , wow, that's a lot of wine. Just a little sense of humor. Sometimes, I found, laughter is good medicine.Keep coming, it gets better.
Harry
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
LOL@Harry. 
I used to go to Al-Anon in Colorado Springs, and I happen to know there are some terrific AA groups there, too.
I don't know if it's still around, but there used to be a Friday night meeting that was never on any of the "official" meeting lists because of its format. (I used to go in the late 90's.) It was at St. Mary's downtown, and what made it unique was that the group alternated AA and Al-Anon formats every other week. Because you can't "do" Al-Anon at an AA meeting, or vice-versa, the group couldn't list itself as an AA group or an Al-Anon group. Still, it was an awesome group of people, and the AAs and Al-Anons got to see and hear "how the other half lives".
If it still exists, it's a good one and might be good for you and your husband.
But there are tons and tons of meetings in the Springs, and I found the 90/90 invaluable. You will also meet a lot of people who will become friends because you will see a lot of them at the same meetings.
Incidentally, the "stickies" are the "sticky threads" you will find posted at the top of each forum here. They are "sticky" because they stay in the same place. The stickies have a lot of good, basic info that people often might want to refer to
I used to go to Al-Anon in Colorado Springs, and I happen to know there are some terrific AA groups there, too.
I don't know if it's still around, but there used to be a Friday night meeting that was never on any of the "official" meeting lists because of its format. (I used to go in the late 90's.) It was at St. Mary's downtown, and what made it unique was that the group alternated AA and Al-Anon formats every other week. Because you can't "do" Al-Anon at an AA meeting, or vice-versa, the group couldn't list itself as an AA group or an Al-Anon group. Still, it was an awesome group of people, and the AAs and Al-Anons got to see and hear "how the other half lives".
If it still exists, it's a good one and might be good for you and your husband.
But there are tons and tons of meetings in the Springs, and I found the 90/90 invaluable. You will also meet a lot of people who will become friends because you will see a lot of them at the same meetings.
Incidentally, the "stickies" are the "sticky threads" you will find posted at the top of each forum here. They are "sticky" because they stay in the same place. The stickies have a lot of good, basic info that people often might want to refer to
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome, welcome! I had my share of relapses, too, and there was no one more confused than I was. That's what addiction will do to you. I felt like I had a split personality with one side determined not to drink, and the other side getting in the car to drive to the liquor store.
The idea of admitting our powerlessness is always worse than when we actually do so. It does take a little courage, but the relief that follows is worth enduring a little anxiety. Every time I've asked for help, people (here at SR and in AA) took me in with open arms. They remember their own first meeting or first post.
So don't think about it too much and just be ready to receive that support you need right now. Keep reading and posting here, too. We're all in this thing together!!:ghug3
The idea of admitting our powerlessness is always worse than when we actually do so. It does take a little courage, but the relief that follows is worth enduring a little anxiety. Every time I've asked for help, people (here at SR and in AA) took me in with open arms. They remember their own first meeting or first post.
So don't think about it too much and just be ready to receive that support you need right now. Keep reading and posting here, too. We're all in this thing together!!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: manchester
Posts: 523
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
LOL@Harry.
I used to go to Al-Anon in Colorado Springs, and I happen to know there are some terrific AA groups there, too.
I don't know if it's still around, but there used to be a Friday night meeting that was never on any of the "official" meeting lists because of its format. (I used to go in the late 90's.) It was at St. Mary's downtown, and what made it unique was that the group alternated AA and Al-Anon formats every other week. Because you can't "do" Al-Anon at an AA meeting, or vice-versa, the group couldn't list itself as an AA group or an Al-Anon group. Still, it was an awesome group of people, and the AAs and Al-Anons got to see and hear "how the other half lives".
If it still exists, it's a good one and might be good for you and your husband.
But there are tons and tons of meetings in the Springs, and I found the 90/90 invaluable. You will also meet a lot of people who will become friends because you will see a lot of them at the same meetings.
Incidentally, the "stickies" are the "sticky threads" you will find posted at the top of each forum here. They are "sticky" because they stay in the same place. The stickies have a lot of good, basic info that people often might want to refer to
I used to go to Al-Anon in Colorado Springs, and I happen to know there are some terrific AA groups there, too.
I don't know if it's still around, but there used to be a Friday night meeting that was never on any of the "official" meeting lists because of its format. (I used to go in the late 90's.) It was at St. Mary's downtown, and what made it unique was that the group alternated AA and Al-Anon formats every other week. Because you can't "do" Al-Anon at an AA meeting, or vice-versa, the group couldn't list itself as an AA group or an Al-Anon group. Still, it was an awesome group of people, and the AAs and Al-Anons got to see and hear "how the other half lives".
If it still exists, it's a good one and might be good for you and your husband.
But there are tons and tons of meetings in the Springs, and I found the 90/90 invaluable. You will also meet a lot of people who will become friends because you will see a lot of them at the same meetings.
Incidentally, the "stickies" are the "sticky threads" you will find posted at the top of each forum here. They are "sticky" because they stay in the same place. The stickies have a lot of good, basic info that people often might want to refer to
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 13
Hi LeFemme, thanks for sharing. Just got back for the women's meeting. I thought it started at 10:30 but it started at 10, missed 20 minutes. Ugh, I thought I was early. Oh well, I went, met the chairman, got the call sheet and met a couple of other people. It's a start.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 13
Lexie, thanks for the heads up on the downtown meeting. I look for it.
Just got back from the womens meeting. Glad I went.
I'm a weekend alcoholic (no such kind, right). During the week I'm fine,
don't even think about drinking for a second. When Friday rolls around
I sure know how to make up for not drinking during the week. Ugggh!
My life is sooo good other than this one dark spot. My husband doesn't
think I'm an alcoholic but I must be if I can't resist on the weekends.
Just got back from the womens meeting. Glad I went.
I'm a weekend alcoholic (no such kind, right). During the week I'm fine,
don't even think about drinking for a second. When Friday rolls around
I sure know how to make up for not drinking during the week. Ugggh!
My life is sooo good other than this one dark spot. My husband doesn't
think I'm an alcoholic but I must be if I can't resist on the weekends.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
AA is short for "Alcoholics Anonymous," which is for alcoholics or people who want to quit drinking.
Al-Anon is a group for families and friends of alcoholics (who may or may not be in AA). Living with an active alcoholic (or even one in recovery, lol) affects family members in profound ways. Al-Anon does NOT tell people how to "get the alcoholic sober," but it does help to heal the damage that comes from living close to someone else's drinking.
They are unrelated organizations, but both use the twelve steps for recovery.
Al-Anon is a group for families and friends of alcoholics (who may or may not be in AA). Living with an active alcoholic (or even one in recovery, lol) affects family members in profound ways. Al-Anon does NOT tell people how to "get the alcoholic sober," but it does help to heal the damage that comes from living close to someone else's drinking.
They are unrelated organizations, but both use the twelve steps for recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 13
Thank you ArtSoul, I like that name. Glad to meet you and thanks for reaching out. I went to the meeting today. If I can quit drinking on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I'll be doing great because I never drink during the week. It's funny how I can be so disciplined during the week but when the weekend hits it's party time. Maybe I need to stay in meetings all weekend for a while.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: las vegas nv
Posts: 180
Welcome cokat! I'm in NA, and I have trouble attending meetings everyday, sometimes things like NO CAR, kids, work, etc, make it difficult. I try to go as often as I can, because meetings help me stay clean, plus I love going to meetings. There are meetings on this site, if you miss a meeting, you can always come on here to share.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 13
I didn't know that 25 glasses of wine were recommended , wow, that's a lot of wine. Just a little sense of humor. Sometimes, I found, laughter is good medicine.
Keep coming, it gets better.
That's a good one Harry!!!
, wow, that's a lot of wine. Just a little sense of humor. Sometimes, I found, laughter is good medicine.Keep coming, it gets better.
That's a good one Harry!!!
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