stayingstraight

Hi. I posted this on the substance abuse forum too. I've been sober for 5 weeks tommorrow. The reason I am posting this is because I need some advice from people who know what they are talking about when it comes to a pill addict. It isn't me. My drug of choice was alcohol. It's my fiance. We have a long history and have been together for almost 7 years. We have been through it all. Jail, drinking, drugs, fights...you name it. I was not the one in jail just by sheer luck. We were seperated for 10 months because he decided to cheat on me and leave me for a younger woman about three years ago. That lasted about ten months and before you know it, he was right back on my doorstep begging for forgiveness. I have been more like a mother to him than a girlfriend. The thing is, he admitted to me that he had a problem with pills about 2 years ago. I watched him go through the withdrawals and stayed by his side to help him all I could. Mostly by just being there since there's really not a whole lot I could do. He kicked it and was clean for a while. Then about a year ago I started noticing the mood swings. And the crazy sleep schedule. The short interest span. The excessive energy that would last for two to three days and then he would be flat on his ass on my couch sleeping for two straight days. I questioned him. He got defensive and denied it and then turned it into a huge fight. I began to try to ignore it. I decided to just continue on with life as if nothing was going on. I was sick of it. I felt that if he wanted to kill himself on pills there was nothing I could do about it. Finally, about 2 months ago, he left the house in my car without telling anyone he was leaving. When we noticed he was gone, I checked my purse and my debit card was missing. I got on the computer and checked my account. He had stolen $60.00 out of it from an ATM machine. I cancelled the card. He came home an hour later and showed me the pills in his hand. He came clean with me. He got off the pills again and went back to work. Two days ago when I went in my bathroom I looked on my counter and noticed a white residual wiped from it. I toched my finger to my tongue and tasted it. It tasted bitter. I didn't say anything. Tonight when I went in the bathroom, I looked in the toilet and I saw a cut piece of a baggie floating on top of the water in the toilet. It wasn't really wet, so I snatched it out and questioned him about it. He of course denied it and and said it was old and came out of a pair of shorts he had worn a while back. I told him I didn't believe him. He said it was from a pair of shorts that I hadn't washed. I told him I have washed all his clothes. I told him I wanted him to leave and I didn't want to be with him anymore. He is expecting me to give him a ride to court tommorrow. Needless to say, I don't want to help him with anything. I'm tired of him lying to me. What should I do?...I don't feel very good.

LexieCat

Hi, straight,

You might find it helpful to post on the "friends and family" forums. Lots of good info about setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, how to take care of yourself when you are affected by someone else's addiction.

If he needs to get to court because of something arising from his addiction, you are perfectly within your rights to suggest he find his own ride to court. It's his jam, let him deal with it.

stayingstraight

Thanks for your reply Lexie. I wasn't sure if I should post this here or in the substance forum at all. I just felt like I needed to get it off my chest. Plus, I guess I was searching for some encouraging words and/or support. I'll check out that friends and family forum.

Dee74

Hi stayingstraight

I think you know what to do really - it's getting to that point that may take some time.

Please do visit the Family and Friends forum as well - you'll find a lot of experience and support there

D

Dee74

There's a few open threads on this one...
I think this is the best place for the discussion to continue

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-symptoms.html

D