Balou

Hi, I've talked about this before, however, I need more ideas please. My old dealer keeps calling and asking if I'm OK or if I need anything. I told him I quit using, and he said he was OK with that. I really don't want to change my number or call the cops, any other ideas besides those two PLEASE. I hate hearing the voice messages too, because it always get my mind thinking, well maybe on more time. I'm coming up on Day 10 and I need for these calls to stop.

thank you

Snarf

I agree with the above post. There are some people with whom I beat around the bush when it comes to me not drinking, for different reasons. But I believe you should be completely honest with this individual. If you are serious about your recovery, you need to tell this person in no uncertain terms that you never want to be bothered by them again, and if you are then a court will have to become involved. Nobody wants to go to court, especially a drug dealer.

NicaChic

mamas!
i agree. tell him to kick rocks. or if you cant do that i agree with keepcominback, try that phone blocking thing.

you know i love ya girl! hug

Larkspur

What they said.

The fact that he keeps calling and trying to tempt you when you've clearly said you quit is all the evidence you need that he's not your friend and he has your worst interests at heart (or maybe in his pocket, more accurately).

Do whatever you have to do to get rid of him permanently. No, wait! I didn't mean 'concrete-boots-permanently'. But tell him to take a hike or you might find yourself tempted... to pass his details to the cops.

Snarf

I had to go to court one time because the crazy neighbor lady tried to get a restraining order against me, which would have meant I would have to move. Luckily, she was crazy, and I was allowed to stay in my apartment. But the whole experience was really crummy to go through. No sane person wants a restraining order taken out against them, especially when the circumstances surrounding it involve illegal substances.

luckedog

Balou, Think about a time when you've dad a really tough day, under a lot of stress, the URGES start playing over and over in your head; Then your dealer stops by, or calls. That as a recipie for destruction . I agree with an earlier post" you’re playing with FIRE, without enough water in your bucket to put it out! Don’t let a former dealer rob you of the victory you have worked so hard for! I agree with the rest of these posts-- You must take some action!! The sooner the better.

Kmber2010

Balou you have some good options here but seriously if this dude is contacting you and you then you should change your phone number. Getting clean requires change and its a new you. Its a pain but hey I had to change my number so my ex would stop hounding me. I know its not your choice but it is far easier then calling the cops. I get that part.

I think even talking to him period leaves the door open.....not healthy. Keep us updated on this. Stay strong.

Balou

Changing number doesn't work because he knows where I live. I will tell him again. Right now I don't answer any calls, they go right to voice mail, and I erase his immediately. His shady a** must be broke without me, lol
Thank you everyone for you help, much appreciated.

cat1961

Balou - not a healthy situation you have but if the phone blocking does not work I'd be extremely FIRM with him. When and if you do talk to this individual, tell him that you've been clean, you feel like a million bucks, all those drugs are freaking worthless, you're never going down that path again, take all those drugs and put them where the sun don't shine, etc.

The real catcher would be to invite this dude to an NA meeting.....matter of fact - line up a whole week for him! You'll have someone from the meeting pick him up at a specific time. Let him know that your "support group" wants to help him immediately. That should scare the bejeeebies out of him.

If the first invite to an NA meeting doesn't work, then the next phone call be more persistent. Totally insist that he go to a meeting! With love and kindness, you will drive this guy right down to the next vulnerable person in line.

Now.... don't tell me he doesn't use because I know a lot of dealers that don't use. Nonetheless, I feel this person still qualifies for NA.

Good luck Dear and keep us posted.

augustwest

i had to tell my dealer under no uncertain terms that he was not to ever call me again and if he showed up at my house i was calling the police. end of story. the first time i got clean i left the back door cracked in regards to this dealer and guess what happened after about 3 months. That's right, i used. There is absolutely no place or reason for a drug dealer to be in my life, period.

suki44883

It's up to you, hon. He is not going to stop trying to get back a good customer. As far as he's concerned, it's just business. YOU have to be the one to put a stop to the contact. Either block his number, and if he manages to get through using a different phone, change your number. It isn't hard or all that inconvenient to do. I did it just a couple of weeks ago. If he shows up at your house, don't answer the door.

Please take augustwest's advice. He knows exactly what you are dealing with. It's all up to you.

wow1323

RAW.......But YOU asked. Change your phone number. If you are serious about getting clean. you clean up, numbers change, friends change. blah, blah.

DayTrader

To me.......metaphysically, your dealer represents your disease continually trying to re-enter your life. Has your experience been that when you're disease comes a knockin' you're always able to ignore it? If not, maybe it's time to make some changes.

Most of the most important things I've done in recovery were things I didn't want to do. My experience is that doing what I want (ie - keeping my existing number, not "wasting" money on call block, hoping the calls stop, etc) usually ends badly.

SoberJune282010

I agree, sometimes change means getting rid of the bad influences in our lives and if this person is a friend other than just making a buck from you they would understand and back off with the drugs. I agree with everyone here though, it's maybe time to drop that relationship. I once moved cities when I did drugs in my twenties because those were the only people I knew.

Dee74

Hi Balou

Dealers *love* addicts early in recovery - one used to tell me 'push enough and it's only a matter of time'.

D

artsoul

Good one, cat!

You don't have to call the cops, but you can tell him you will if he doesn't stop. At the very least, you can file a police report for harassment, which is what it is.........

Some people don't take no for an answer until you get in their face. Good luck!!

Harry01854

Nothing changes, if nothing changes....and....if you keep on doing the same thing, the same things are going to continue to happen.

I had a dealer that asked me if I would sell drugs for him as long as I'm not going to use anymore. I told him flat out that if I did that, it would be going against all I'm trying to do now and I might as well as take a gun to my head. Next time he bothered me I told him straight out, leave me alone or he would be out of business. He asked me what I meant and I just told him I would go to the cops. If he wants to stay in business, all he has to do is leave me alone. I didn't have a phone so I didn't have to worry about him calling, but he did stop coming to my door and I never did see him again.

But in your case, nothing is going to change if you don't change your number. If he does come knocking at your door tell him straight out to just leave you alone. You don't need the problem or the trouble. If he still persists. Ask him if he wants to go out of business.

It's your recovery and you have to protect it.

Best wishes and my prayers are with you.

Harry

Aurora80

Is it a cell or house phone? If it's a cell I discovered a helpful option. If you go under security options you should be able to restrict your incoming calls to contacts only so you'll never see the calls. Unfortunately you still have to deal with the messages, but at least you won't ever be tempted to answer a call since you won't be getting them. If you stop answering, eventually this jerk pusher will stop harassing you.

ElegantlyWasted

No never means no to a dealer (or good sales people for tha matter). I think it may be worth it to get a new number. Also consider a restraining order.