rock bottom, again
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi DriedOut,
It sounds like things are going well.
I noticed the craving/addict voice increased a lot when I finally decided enough was enough. Addiction is very powerful and it definitely doesn't want to give up easily.
It sounds like things are going well.
I noticed the craving/addict voice increased a lot when I finally decided enough was enough. Addiction is very powerful and it definitely doesn't want to give up easily.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Good that you are feeling a little better.
I second the notion that you should get rid of the wine and any other booze in the house. If you can't bring yourself to simply toss it (I opened and dumped out every bottle in the house), give it away to someone who doesn't have a problem with booze.
Even though you are feeling in control right now, the time may come when you get a seemingly uncontrollable urge to drink. I decided that having it in my house would make it just a little too easy to grab and pour without thinking it through. By getting rid of it, I at least made my home a buffer zone. If I wanted to drink, I would at least have to get my car keys and make the trip (not far, but it's more of an obstacle than opening the cupboard door)--hopefully giving me a few minutes to consider what I'm about to do and summoning the good sense to pick up the phone instead.
I second the notion that you should get rid of the wine and any other booze in the house. If you can't bring yourself to simply toss it (I opened and dumped out every bottle in the house), give it away to someone who doesn't have a problem with booze.
Even though you are feeling in control right now, the time may come when you get a seemingly uncontrollable urge to drink. I decided that having it in my house would make it just a little too easy to grab and pour without thinking it through. By getting rid of it, I at least made my home a buffer zone. If I wanted to drink, I would at least have to get my car keys and make the trip (not far, but it's more of an obstacle than opening the cupboard door)--hopefully giving me a few minutes to consider what I'm about to do and summoning the good sense to pick up the phone instead.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
So what's with the middle of August? Sounds like you'd do well to avoid all social activities which involve persons drinking for quite a while if you're really interested in recovery. Yes, eventually you'll have more fun and happiness than you ever had when drinking, and better "adventures". I'll bet that some of the "adventures" you had when drinkng haven't been so enjoyable. And more drinking can lead to further "adventures", like DUI's, spells in jail, and worse. If you should happen to hurt someone while driving it would haunt you for the rest of your life.
Try not to be too "embarrassed". Go to lots of AA meetings. I guarantee you that you won't be "embarrassed" there. If you say you just got into recovery they'll tell you that you're the most important person in the room. And if your recovery continues they'll clap and cheer and pat you on the back.Good luck.
WpainterW (you can access my website by clicking on my name in the left margin)
Try not to be too "embarrassed". Go to lots of AA meetings. I guarantee you that you won't be "embarrassed" there. If you say you just got into recovery they'll tell you that you're the most important person in the room. And if your recovery continues they'll clap and cheer and pat you on the back.Good luck.
WpainterW (you can access my website by clicking on my name in the left margin)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
Posts: 345
Driedout, welcome to SoberRecovery. You'll find the people here very caring and helpful. All of us have been where your at now and we do know what it is like.
Just keep it in today, one day at a time. Reading most of the other replies I see a lot of good advice. By the way, I'm pretty sure there are people around here 24/7, so if at anytime you feel like you could use some help and you want to post go ahead and do it. Might take a little, but with patience, someone will reply. Hey, even if someone doesn't, you can still make your post and read some of the other things here. Maybe even go to Recovery Stories and read some of them. See if you can relate and identify with some of their stories. Just be careful that you don't try comparing. Happened to me, I was comparing...I didn't do this or that and I've never been there. Ended up going back out and some of those things finally happened to me too.
Congrats on making it to 5 days and hope you start feeling better about this soon.
God bless
Harry
Just keep it in today, one day at a time. Reading most of the other replies I see a lot of good advice. By the way, I'm pretty sure there are people around here 24/7, so if at anytime you feel like you could use some help and you want to post go ahead and do it. Might take a little, but with patience, someone will reply. Hey, even if someone doesn't, you can still make your post and read some of the other things here. Maybe even go to Recovery Stories and read some of them. See if you can relate and identify with some of their stories. Just be careful that you don't try comparing. Happened to me, I was comparing...I didn't do this or that and I've never been there. Ended up going back out and some of those things finally happened to me too.
Congrats on making it to 5 days and hope you start feeling better about this soon.
God bless
Harry
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: east coast
Posts: 10
hey guys. thanks for all the support the last few days. today has been somewhat rough. It's Thursday and by now, I'd normally be out on the town and catching up on the week with friends. The activities open tonight ranged from all-out binge night to playing some pool. WIth the latter, I wouldn't *have* to drink and it would be fine to just do diet coke, etc., but I decided against it - too soon, I figured, given that it's at one of my favorite old drinking places.
My current dilemma: A friend has a birthday party tomorrow and though I'm leaving early Saturday morning, I could definitely drop by. I've told them that I"m leaving on Friday and can't make it. No one seems to be raising a stink. But it's a dilemma and I need some advice: In situations like that, should I just go and make a point to avoid drinking? I'm pretty sure that everyone will understand, but I don't really want to explain it to everyone. And, further, I kind of want to avoid the temptation.
Did you all find it smart to avoid all big drinking situations when you first started?
Also - just in general, I feel some slight depression creeping in. I know in the front of my head that this additional free time is a gift and I can now catch up on work and reading, but when it comes down to it, the rest of me just feels a bit in the dumps.
My current dilemma: A friend has a birthday party tomorrow and though I'm leaving early Saturday morning, I could definitely drop by. I've told them that I"m leaving on Friday and can't make it. No one seems to be raising a stink. But it's a dilemma and I need some advice: In situations like that, should I just go and make a point to avoid drinking? I'm pretty sure that everyone will understand, but I don't really want to explain it to everyone. And, further, I kind of want to avoid the temptation.
Did you all find it smart to avoid all big drinking situations when you first started?
Also - just in general, I feel some slight depression creeping in. I know in the front of my head that this additional free time is a gift and I can now catch up on work and reading, but when it comes down to it, the rest of me just feels a bit in the dumps.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: east coast
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers 
Hi Driedout,
It took me awhile to realize, even after I wanted to stop that one drink is too many. Like you, it lead me to want more and more. And I would have more and more. That's great that you are realizing this now.
I can relate to how you saw your drinking take a wrong turn in the past year. That happened to me too. I'm 28 and from 21 to 26 everything just kind of coasted along, no blackouts, hangovers at work, etc. Around 18 months ago my drinking morphed into something different and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get it back to the normal-happy version.
Once I was sober a month and thought that since my tolerance had gone down I could be completely content with 2-3 beers at a party and stop. It didn't work. It just meant that I became belligerent more quickly
It progressed from no blackouts to weekend blackouts to weeknight blackouts, from goofy behavior to hostile behavior, from the privacy of my own home to parties with an audience.
That's a good description about being "crisp" before the drinking. In my life the little details of 'my dignity' were lost in the past year. Whether it was showing up to work in a wrinkled shirt, not wanting to look people in the eye in the morning, wearing mismatched socks, going too long between hair cuts/touching up roots, answering the phone at noon with that groggy just-woken-up voice. Yep, that happened with my boss a few times.
I found this site about two months ago when I realized that drinking was no longer working for me; in fact it was taking me down quickly. I heard that term here though, "alcohol was no longer working for me" and I like it because it takes the drama out of statements that I could also say: "alcohol was killing me, ruining my life..." and all the rest. Those are true of course but I found that laying in bed at night thinking those thoughts was causing me panic.
It took me awhile to realize, even after I wanted to stop that one drink is too many. Like you, it lead me to want more and more. And I would have more and more. That's great that you are realizing this now.
I can relate to how you saw your drinking take a wrong turn in the past year. That happened to me too. I'm 28 and from 21 to 26 everything just kind of coasted along, no blackouts, hangovers at work, etc. Around 18 months ago my drinking morphed into something different and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get it back to the normal-happy version.
Once I was sober a month and thought that since my tolerance had gone down I could be completely content with 2-3 beers at a party and stop. It didn't work. It just meant that I became belligerent more quickly
It progressed from no blackouts to weekend blackouts to weeknight blackouts, from goofy behavior to hostile behavior, from the privacy of my own home to parties with an audience.
That's a good description about being "crisp" before the drinking. In my life the little details of 'my dignity' were lost in the past year. Whether it was showing up to work in a wrinkled shirt, not wanting to look people in the eye in the morning, wearing mismatched socks, going too long between hair cuts/touching up roots, answering the phone at noon with that groggy just-woken-up voice. Yep, that happened with my boss a few times.
I found this site about two months ago when I realized that drinking was no longer working for me; in fact it was taking me down quickly. I heard that term here though, "alcohol was no longer working for me" and I like it because it takes the drama out of statements that I could also say: "alcohol was killing me, ruining my life..." and all the rest. Those are true of course but I found that laying in bed at night thinking those thoughts was causing me panic.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I think it's very smart to avoid drinking occasions to the extent possible in early recovery. I still don't enjoy them after almost two years--other people's drinking is not fun for me.
If it's an event you feel you must go to, you can arrive late, leave early, have some phone numbers in case of emergency and leave if you feel uncomfortable.
If it's an event you feel you must go to, you can arrive late, leave early, have some phone numbers in case of emergency and leave if you feel uncomfortable.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: east coast
Posts: 10
Thanks Lexie. I think that's good advice. I'll give a no RSVP to this one and make a point to hang out with everyone in more daylight hours. The notion does make me slightly sad, but like you said, if I'm serious about this, I need to make some key lifestyle changes for sure.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I think you're making a great decision. I know it feels weird, lonely, kinda sad to give up our "friend" alcohol and not being around our human friends...... it's alot to take in. The good news is that you WILL get stronger and things will get easier as time goes on. (At least it has for me) If you have to sit out a couple weeks or so, there will still be plenty of time for social events later.
Lexie has a good idea - if you go, just drop by (get a gag birthday gift or go and take a few pictures) - you have the excuse that you need to leave the next day......
Whatever you decide, think first of your sobriety and how comfortable you are.
Also, you can always get some medical support for depression if it continues. (Made a big difference for me).
Lexie has a good idea - if you go, just drop by (get a gag birthday gift or go and take a few pictures) - you have the excuse that you need to leave the next day......
Whatever you decide, think first of your sobriety and how comfortable you are.
Also, you can always get some medical support for depression if it continues. (Made a big difference for me).
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