nating

It has been 7 days since I last drank. I was drinking quite frequently. I think that as I was either drunk or hungover, I didn't even think about how much I was drinking or what kind of damage I was doing to my body. I did not even realize that after drinking 10-12 cans of beer every other day that I might suffer from withdrawal. When it hit, I was like...what the hell is this and it took a couple of days to figure it out. Duh...welcome back out of the fog.

After 48 hours my lifelong anxiety problem came back with some of the worst panic attacks that I have ever experienced. I got back on an SSRI. I refuse to take a benzo like Xanax because I don't want to get addicted to Xanax. Yesterday, I felt pretty good, but this afternoon I felt ready to pass out. I was light headed and then had a panic response to being light headed. I am wondering if it is withdrawal or the SSRI. 7 days. I never got the shakes or anything like that. It's all in my brain. Now, I am terrified at the thought of drinking again. What the hell did I do to myself? I'm sooooo much sharper and productive. Other than these horrible dizzy spells, I am feeling ten times better. Will they ever go away? I know it takes Lexpro about four weeks to fully kick in, and I stupidly took myself off of it about year ago. I pretty much replaced that with alcohol. I actually have an interview on Wednesday, and I am terrified that I will have a dizzy spell/panic reaction. Sh*%, if this is what it takes to quit, then you should try to never start.

artsoul

Hi nating and welcome! Way to go on getting 7 days! That's really great. I'm sure everyone's experience is a little different, but I had withdrawal symptoms well into a week of sobriety. After 3 or 4 days I felt good, but then had "brain glitches" (almost like a lapse of memory), clumsiness, a lot of fog, insomnia, hunger. I started to wonder what I'd done to my brain. I'm also on SSRI's, and know that they have initial side effects, too, until your body gets used to them.

I'd sure talk to my doc, but I can also say that alot of those "extra" symptoms after withdrawal went away. The insomnia lasted the longest for me (about 2 weeks).

Good luck, and don't take my experience as typical or not typical - just wanted to share....

nating

Thanks Artsoul! Here is another think bothering me. I am not having cravings. Honest to God. W eeven have a case of beer in the freezer. When I look at it, I cringe. I am scared to drink. Scared Sh$@less, but I know that those cravings will probably come. Something feels different. I am not planning my life around drinking or trying to schedule drinking. I don't want to drink again, but things will come up I am sure. I am not craving alcohol, but I have had sugar cravings. I know I will probably need AA or something to not relapse, but I am honestly a little afraid of AA. I have always suffered from social anxiety of the worst sort. The thought of standing up in front of twenty people and admitting that I am an alcoholic has about as much appeal as picking up a drink right now.

artsoul

Glad to hear you're not having cravings - I remember being terrified the first week or two myself. I remember being several days into sobriety and having my heart dropping into my feet when I saw a Bud Light billboard!

Sugar cravings are normal, since alcohol has so much sugar in it. Enjoy eating for now (as long as your not consuming 5 cakes a day!). When I have had cravings, if I eat something it really helps.

And as far as AA goes, you don't have to say or do anything (certainly not stand up in front of the group - yikes - no one would get sober!). If you want to introduce yourself, you can just do that and not say anything else the whole time. Believe me, everyone has had a first day and knows what it's like. And it's the most casual laid-back bunch of folks you'd ever want to meet.

Anyway - just keep posting, reading, asking questions, etc....... We're all in this crazy thing together!

nating

First, I said in the last post that I had beer in the freezer. It's actually in the fridge. Maybe, I should get rid of it...duh.

Sorry, this is becoming like a little journal for me right now. Sometimes it helps to just write something out. Just checked out the steps. OK, I am going to pray like crazy. I have had to do some incredibly stressful things these last seven days. I even had to speak publically. I did all of this with success. What did I do beforehand? Prayed. What did I do when I had a dizzy spell? Prayed. What am I going to do right now? Pray. It actually really helped to pray, and I have never been one to pray much.

artsoul

This is your thread, so you can post away as much as you'd like! Things are a little quite at the moment, but that won't last long...... I'll say a little prayer for both of us, too.....

And take it a day at a time......infact, I have to do this with my life these days so I don't get too overwhelmed.

nating

Thanks, Artsoul!

artsoul

no problem.......

nating

Pink cloud? Just read about it. Lots to learn and do.

MTWildflower

Welcome, nating.

Dee74

Hi Nating

I agree with artsoul that you should talk to your doc. Dizzy spells and panic attacks are no fun - go and get some professional advice.

I was terrified of alcohol for a good few weeks too...it was after the fear went that the work really started for me.

I would get rid of the beer tho - you're not going to drink it...clear the decks

Welcome to SR!
D

Wilde10

Hello Nating!
Welcome to SR... pink cloud... and so many other things to learn... However, not all of us get the pink cloud moment - I did not. I am getting many colours, with some pink spells of peace and content... but many strident other colours with greys and burst of crazy red and yellow excitement!

Well done for your 7 days sober!

SereniTee

Going on the SSRI just as you come off will make the anxiety of quitting even more intense at 1st but once they kick in whihc can take up to 4 weeks you should feel alot better. Good for you for avoiding the Xanax. I didn't and evended up with a benzo problem in place of alcoholism. 2 months clean now though, 6 months sober.

Keep going, it'll get alot easier, you're doing great getting medical help and positing here.

Doodledog

Hi Nating,

Welcome to the forum. Like the others said, the first few weeks are really tough. I used to do that too: Feel sick or dizzy and then get a panic attack because I felt sick. Thought I was going to give myself a heart attack. Hang in there, you're doing great!

ddog

ps -- I just got back from Chicago. Had a (sober) blast!

nating

Thanks everyone! I spent a lot of time last night reading about anxiety on here and tried some of the techniques. I was actually able to fall asleep pretty quickly after getting fully relaxed. I wasn't churning things over and over again in my head.

Here's another problem that you might have some input on. I also smoke. I have convinced myself that smoking alleviates some of my anxiety, which I know is not true. Has anyone here tried to give up alcohol and smoking at the same time? Is it better to wait on the smoking thing or do you have any words of experience to share?

Balou

Welcome to DETOX!!!! I look at it as your true self fighting to regain it's body and soul again. I'm on Day 9, however I'm NA and my problem is insomnia, and lately I've been welcoming the pain, telling myself OK bring it on, that's all you got, etc... smoking ahhhh Smoking, I want to quit as well, most people tell me to wait on the smoking. I figure if I can quit the one then I can quit the other. One addict told me at a meeting that you are not a true addict unless you smoke cigarettes and drink coffee of course he's joking. Set a later date to quit smoking like August 1st, in fact maybe we can quit on the same day for support.

trixieisme

Nating -

Welcome and congrats! I am new too, 16 days sober. I was a little afraid of AA (and still am very afraid of the steps), but I have been going to one AA meeting a day since I quit, and it's been a huge help. I'm in IL, out near St. Charles area, but have heard some great things about meetings in Elk Grove Village. One of the guys in the meetings I go to used to go the them out there and he loved them. Not sure how far that is from you, but just thought I would mention it.