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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 173
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I am posting on the new members because I am new, 5 days sober. Having a crisis! Has anyone had a family member addicted to being sick? and by that I mean arthritis, stomach problems, diabetes?? She is addcited to the healthcare system and pops more pills than you can imagine, yet she will not get proper medical care.
I cannot move in with her under these circumstances. She cannot sleep because she is in so much pain, she cannot eat anything because of her stomach, yet she is eating a root beer float.
She is lying to everyone and she has been for years, but she has 2 doctors that allow it. I cannot put myself in that position because I cannot do anything either and all we do is yell.
I cried all the way home and am trying to figure out what to do. I am willing to move in and get involved, but she does not want to get better. She said that was the stupidest thing I said. It really is no different than when my father would not do anything until he collapsed and at that point we (my sibs and I ) could step in because we had POA.
Just need to vent/talk/do something besides decide drinking will help me deal.
I cannot move in with her under these circumstances. She cannot sleep because she is in so much pain, she cannot eat anything because of her stomach, yet she is eating a root beer float.
She is lying to everyone and she has been for years, but she has 2 doctors that allow it. I cannot put myself in that position because I cannot do anything either and all we do is yell.
I cried all the way home and am trying to figure out what to do. I am willing to move in and get involved, but she does not want to get better. She said that was the stupidest thing I said. It really is no different than when my father would not do anything until he collapsed and at that point we (my sibs and I ) could step in because we had POA.
Just need to vent/talk/do something besides decide drinking will help me deal.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,499
It sounds like your family member is someone who loves to create drama.
Right now, you are newly sober (Congrats) and you don't need drama in your life. You need to focus on you.
My advice is to detach as much as possible, letting her know that she needs proper medical care that you cannot offer.
I am so glad that you recognize this situation as a potentially toxic relationship for you.
Right now, you are newly sober (Congrats) and you don't need drama in your life. You need to focus on you.
My advice is to detach as much as possible, letting her know that she needs proper medical care that you cannot offer.
I am so glad that you recognize this situation as a potentially toxic relationship for you.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Is this a situation where you have to live with this person?
Is there a way of living there without getting involved in their issues? It wouldn't be so bad if you can use this opportunity to get a new start and focus on your sobriety, but if you feel it will lead to drinking again, perhaps a different living situation would be better.
Is there a way of living there without getting involved in their issues? It wouldn't be so bad if you can use this opportunity to get a new start and focus on your sobriety, but if you feel it will lead to drinking again, perhaps a different living situation would be better.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 173
Thanks Anna. It goes beyond drama at this point, she is going to die. I am not going to do this alone, I have 2 brothers and a sister.
Unfortunately, I lost my job, filed bankruptcy and she has been helping me financially.
Drama is one thing, but they do not know how bad it is. She does not want the truth to be told either, but I cannot go into the situation without the power to step in.
I am a strong person and can handle this, but only if things are going to change.
Unfortunately, I lost my job, filed bankruptcy and she has been helping me financially.
Drama is one thing, but they do not know how bad it is. She does not want the truth to be told either, but I cannot go into the situation without the power to step in.
I am a strong person and can handle this, but only if things are going to change.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 173
Artsoul, I do not have to live there now, but my financial situation will involve foreclosure at some point.
I am a person of action though and I will not live there and ignore the situation like I have been guilty of in the past.
I am a person of action though and I will not live there and ignore the situation like I have been guilty of in the past.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 173
Ok more info. Went to dinner with a non drinking friend, then started doing more research. Tried to convey the seriousness of what is happening to my sister, but she is yelling at me for yelling at my mom. My mom is showing all symptoms of uncontrolled blood sugars due to diabetes. We have just been focusing on the stomach symptoms and the narcotics. Talked to 2 of my friends with diabetes and they put all the puzzle peices together for me.
Problem, my sibs don't get it and my mom no longer "trusts" me so she won't talk to me. My sisters answer is to gain her trust back. She is blowing me off because I am sure she thinks I am drinking. Not a drop, but no clue what to do right now. I guess I need to let this play out and pray for the best. If I go over there now it will make it worse, but at least sober I can try to pray and be ready to act if I need to.
Problem, my sibs don't get it and my mom no longer "trusts" me so she won't talk to me. My sisters answer is to gain her trust back. She is blowing me off because I am sure she thinks I am drinking. Not a drop, but no clue what to do right now. I guess I need to let this play out and pray for the best. If I go over there now it will make it worse, but at least sober I can try to pray and be ready to act if I need to.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 173
After a sleepless night worried about mom's diabetes, fearing the worst based on her symptoms, I went over this morning and was relieved to find her fine. Diabetes is nothing to play with though and I feared she was at the state of needing insulin and since she is afraid of it I told her we needed to get to the bottom of it and I would help her, but unless she allowed me to be involved in her healthcare I would not move in. ( I am not diab, but have worked in the diab industry for 12 years and have many friends I trust for advice)
She agreed. Turns out after looking through info (test readings) that it does not appear to be as serious as I thought, but we still need to get to the bottom of things. She has a DR appoint tommorow and is allowing me to come with her.
She is from a generatioon that just nods when the DR gives her scripts and he is the type of Dr that just writes them. No real questions asked and because of that she has felt like crap for over a year!
Feel better about maintaining my own sobriety within this situation now because I took action.
She agreed. Turns out after looking through info (test readings) that it does not appear to be as serious as I thought, but we still need to get to the bottom of things. She has a DR appoint tommorow and is allowing me to come with her.
She is from a generatioon that just nods when the DR gives her scripts and he is the type of Dr that just writes them. No real questions asked and because of that she has felt like crap for over a year!
Feel better about maintaining my own sobriety within this situation now because I took action.
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