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Old 07-21-2010, 03:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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back at it again....


hi my name is Jennifer and i have been using lortabs for the last 10 or 11 years off and on way more on then off.. taking up to about 50 to 60 a day at my worse....i was clean for about a year after to going to a long term... i am not sure what happen but got right back on them shortly after i left... makes me sick cause i was really starting to feel good again....(guess i thought i had it beat) HUGE MISTAKE..............
i went about 7 months ago and got on the soboxion program... and it was working well... until i started taking more then i should have and found myself going a week or so with out them and thats when i picked the tab's up once again.....now i am right back where i started and going threw the with draws unbelieveable again....'that is the worse for me... when i am sick the physical and mental is soooo hard...
not sure what to do...i am sure of one thing and that is i need help and want my life back (drug free)
i am going to see my doctor thursay in 2 days and am going to tell him i have relapsed.. and try to get in to detox again
any suggestions would be soooo appricated
thanks
Jen
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Old 07-21-2010, 04:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi Jen

I think seeing your Dr and being honest and open is a great move.

Have you thought of a recovery group like NA, or one of the others, like SMART?
A lot of people find the real life help and support is such groups can make the difference.

Please do also check out our substance abuse forum here as well
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com

I know you'll find a lot of support here
Welcome to SR!

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Old 07-21-2010, 04:14 AM   #3 (permalink)
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thanks and yes i have gone to NA before and need to get right back into all of it... not sure what smart is thou?? i guess its the 1st few weeks that is the hardest...getting threw the withdraws... then i think doing something i never really have done and that is getting to no me...... i no i need to get into a detox...my mind is not strong enough to go threw that alone...and with out medical help....some think that makes me weak...but i have tryed so many times and the addiction always wins... then of course when i use i feel worse then when i started....i think i need detox and some place to learn to live again and who i really am.... i am sick over this and sick of hurting the people i love... and of course myself.....
thanks for responding
Jen
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Old 07-21-2010, 05:23 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Jen, good for you for knowing you need to take action.

And, you are not weak. Addiction is an illness. Few of us can do this alone. We all need support and advice. That's one of the reasons that I keep back here, because this is my lifeline.

I hope you keep reading and posting.
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Old 07-21-2010, 05:24 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I don't do any programme myself but I like to give options LOL

SMART is a non 12 step alternative that a lot of members use here...
SMART RecoveryŽ | Self Help for Alcoholism & Addiction

There's a lot of substance abuse links here too :
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...i-recover.html

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Old 07-21-2010, 07:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Old 07-21-2010, 01:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Hi Jennifer - You're doing the right thing by reaching out for help again. I know it's hard, but a lot of us had to go through a relapse or two before we really saw how powerful addiction can be.

Keep posting and reading and let us know how things go with the doctor. I hope you can get to treatment again and to an NA meeting. We need all the support we can get!!
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Old 07-21-2010, 01:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
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thanks to all i am going into detox tonight and we will see from there but i am glad i found this site... i will forsure be reading and posting thanks so much...... Jen
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Old 07-22-2010, 11:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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another update... and thanks to all..... never made it to detox... tryed like hell thou.... no where would admitt me... crazy as i was soooo sick it was the worse ever(holy cow thought i was dying) but i found a soboxion Doctor today... and will say i feel 100& better (withdraw wise) i am still going into a inpatient treatment however...i think its something i need badly... to learn the skills to live life again with out the use of them damn pills..... and learn who i am.... so with in this next week i will be going into a 28 day and then on to even longer after that.... not to sure what yet...but at this point i am fully surrendering and doing as i am told..... cant do it my way anymore....cause my way never has worked and i now no it never will.... i want to say thanks to all who responded... and for finding this site... alot of good things to read on here.... thanks all
Jen
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Old 07-22-2010, 11:28 PM   #10 (permalink)
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just to make it clear i was on soboxion before but was mis using it... so when i went on it today with a new doctor... i told him the truth about mis using it.... told him all.... and that is why i am still going into 28 day... THEY will give it to me there... and i am still working on me.... and will be off everything before i get out
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Old 07-22-2010, 11:53 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi cissybug: You've taken a huge step here in the right direction. I'm proud of you for wanting to get your life back. I've jokingly told my family and friends. Getting off the opiates and learning to live life w/o them is like going to school all over again. There are so many wonderful new things to see and learn after your mind and body becomes free of the opiates. Take advantage of every program you are offered. The more you live around positive clean people, the better you'll be able to handle the outside world.

BTW: I use to live in (Fredonia), Wisconsin.

Keep us posted on how you are doing. We are here for you.

TOD
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Old 07-23-2010, 12:13 AM   #12 (permalink)
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thanks Todd...
its funny you say that casuse i was saying today... that i feel almost like with me going to rehab and getting off these damn things... that is like being born again...... i no i need to descover who i am.... during this time i am going to be taking for me... so its like i need to learn to walk...crawl... talk again... thanks again
Jen
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