Am I an alcoholic?
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Hi ILMF
I used to think an alcoholic was someone who NEEDED booze all the time. They didn't necessarily have to be homeless or bums.....but they were ppl who thought about booze all the time, wanted it all the time, and drank pretty-much all the time.
I know some ppl where they got to this point ^^^^ I was lucky to have the obsession to drink lifted from me before I ever got there myself. However....even for the folks I described above, they didn't start out drinking that way. They, "worked up to it."
That said, the characteristics all alcoholics of varying degrees share is the inability to stop after the first drink or two. In other words, the mind and/or the body start to crave more booze once some is ingested. "Normal" or "social" drinkers have a couple, start to feel it and want to stop. I start to feel it and can't frickin waaaaiiiittttt to get more. Big difference. I'd look back and find numerous times where I really planned to only have a couple....certainly didn't plan to get wasted (although I did plan to get wasted a lot of the time
).......yet I ended up "over drinking" once again.
The spooky thing about it.......IF that's your experience too.......it never goes away. That craving once you start.........it's with you for life. That's what makes quitting so difficult- it just doesn't stand to reason that it "should" be like that, but it is.
I wish you the best and hope to be of any help you need in finding the answers to your questions.
Oh yeah.... there are many ways to recover from your alcoholism. For me, AA, the 12 steps, and a whole lot of power I didn't possess myself, given to me by a God I still don't understand or even fully trust yet, made it a WHOLE LOT EASIER.
I used to think an alcoholic was someone who NEEDED booze all the time. They didn't necessarily have to be homeless or bums.....but they were ppl who thought about booze all the time, wanted it all the time, and drank pretty-much all the time.
I know some ppl where they got to this point ^^^^ I was lucky to have the obsession to drink lifted from me before I ever got there myself. However....even for the folks I described above, they didn't start out drinking that way. They, "worked up to it."
That said, the characteristics all alcoholics of varying degrees share is the inability to stop after the first drink or two. In other words, the mind and/or the body start to crave more booze once some is ingested. "Normal" or "social" drinkers have a couple, start to feel it and want to stop. I start to feel it and can't frickin waaaaiiiittttt to get more. Big difference. I'd look back and find numerous times where I really planned to only have a couple....certainly didn't plan to get wasted (although I did plan to get wasted a lot of the time
).......yet I ended up "over drinking" once again. The spooky thing about it.......IF that's your experience too.......it never goes away. That craving once you start.........it's with you for life. That's what makes quitting so difficult- it just doesn't stand to reason that it "should" be like that, but it is.
I wish you the best and hope to be of any help you need in finding the answers to your questions.
Oh yeah.... there are many ways to recover from your alcoholism. For me, AA, the 12 steps, and a whole lot of power I didn't possess myself, given to me by a God I still don't understand or even fully trust yet, made it a WHOLE LOT EASIER.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Like others have said if you think you have a problem then you likely do. Are you an alcoholic? or are you a problem drinker? You definetly have the genetics for at least problem drinking. I never had cravings for alcohol before I quit nor after but once I started drinking I rarely stopped until I passed out. I "only" drank a few times a week, rarely if ever 2 days in a row, every time I woke up from heavy drinking I swore I'd never drink again and wouldn't for a day or 2. I was capable of having just 1-2 glasses of wine although I generally chose to have more. I stopped drinking w/o a guided program (although I worked hard at sobriety on my own) and I don't ever want to drink again and I accept that I can't every drink again. Do I sound like an alcoholic? I don't know, but what I do know is alcohol caused major personality changes within me, alcohol caused blackouts for me, it caused me embarassment and ultimately a lot of self hatred. Without alcohol I love myself, I really like ME, I never have blackouts, I can't remember the last time I was embarassed; I no longer question myself about whether or not I have a drinking problem, I don't have to explain myself to anyone or make excuses. I was dependent on alcohol, it was my crutch and now I'm healthy and don't need a crutch.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
For me I had to name it to claim it...to actually reclaim my life....I had to admit that I was powerless over alcohol...it had me hook line and sinker!! like a previous post mentioned, it wasn't always that way..it was progressive.....and there wasn't too many occasions where I could stop at just a couple...I would be watching the fridge/cooler to see how many beers/wine was left... I tried controlling my drinking and that didn't work...I ended up getting arrested for a dui...thats when I let it go....enough was enough....I'm coming up to 6 months, and feel a huge burden has been lifted.....
By coming here, I'm sure you will find alot of support and hear others stories....
Best wishes!
By coming here, I'm sure you will find alot of support and hear others stories....
Best wishes!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
Originally Posted by ILoveMyFamily 
Hi Magda and Wilde10! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 
Magda: I agree with you wholeheartedly! As I said in an earlier post, if I KNOW I can't handle something, why do it? I am so tired of this 'guilt' feeling, trying my best to be the perfect 'mom' and 'wife' yet knowing I have this demon and just 'going with the flow.' Thank you for your analogy. It sure hit home with me! It truly makes no difference if it's alcohol or tea, I just have this compulsion to drink and have been this way for years. I guess as I got older, I moved onto the 'harder stuff', which was always bound to cause me and my family problems. Family is definitely more important and the more I focus on that, the less likely I am to use my 'compulsion' for anything alcoholic.
Wilde10: It's so nice to see someone else shares the same 'problem' as me! I know before I even LIFT my first bottle of beer (or glass of wine) that there will more then likely be a problem, I will not be able to know my limit. This 'drinking' thing is something I never even thought about until just recently. I could drink anything (and not eat) as I prefer liquids to food anyway. I had really gotten a taste for beer and looked forward to the first couple of bottles, but after that, it didn't matter (or I didn't care) WHAT I was drinking then! I just know that when it comes to alcohol, I tend to have this reoccuring 'trend' to keep drinking til I am either blind or ready to 'pass out'. Unfortunately it does help me relax in the evenings after my girls have gone to bed. I guess it's the time we look foward to in having these drinks that are the hardest to let go. Can I have a cup of tea in the evenings instead of wine or beer? Sure I can, but I prefer NOT to and that is what scares me a bit.
If you find the answer to this compulsive drinking problem please do let me know! I don't know what it is but if it's water you're drinking, then it can NEVER be a bad thing!
In Love and Light,
ILoveMyFamily
Magda: I agree with you wholeheartedly! As I said in an earlier post, if I KNOW I can't handle something, why do it? I am so tired of this 'guilt' feeling, trying my best to be the perfect 'mom' and 'wife' yet knowing I have this demon and just 'going with the flow.' Thank you for your analogy. It sure hit home with me! It truly makes no difference if it's alcohol or tea, I just have this compulsion to drink and have been this way for years. I guess as I got older, I moved onto the 'harder stuff', which was always bound to cause me and my family problems. Family is definitely more important and the more I focus on that, the less likely I am to use my 'compulsion' for anything alcoholic.
Wilde10: It's so nice to see someone else shares the same 'problem' as me! I know before I even LIFT my first bottle of beer (or glass of wine) that there will more then likely be a problem, I will not be able to know my limit. This 'drinking' thing is something I never even thought about until just recently. I could drink anything (and not eat) as I prefer liquids to food anyway. I had really gotten a taste for beer and looked forward to the first couple of bottles, but after that, it didn't matter (or I didn't care) WHAT I was drinking then! I just know that when it comes to alcohol, I tend to have this reoccuring 'trend' to keep drinking til I am either blind or ready to 'pass out'. Unfortunately it does help me relax in the evenings after my girls have gone to bed. I guess it's the time we look foward to in having these drinks that are the hardest to let go. Can I have a cup of tea in the evenings instead of wine or beer? Sure I can, but I prefer NOT to and that is what scares me a bit.
If you find the answer to this compulsive drinking problem please do let me know! I don't know what it is but if it's water you're drinking, then it can NEVER be a bad thing!
In Love and Light,
ILoveMyFamily
My own belief is that the only solution to alcoholism, alcohol dependence or alcohol abuse...is total abstinence. Lets face it...if I broke out in hives every time I ate strawberry's, I'd stop eating them. What makes alcohol so important that we have to try time after time to "not break out in hives" when we drink?
blessings
zenbear
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 254
Originally Posted by MagdaTheGreat
Anyone who has ever been to a company Christmas party knows that there are plenty of people who can't handle alcohol who aren't alcoholics.
I don't think you're an alcoholic. And I don't think you should drink. I've never understood the importance of the label. Most people agree that abstaining from meth is a good idea whether one is a meth addict or not, and it sounds like this attitude towards alcohol would serve you. For you it's a harder drug - perhaps not one you're addicted to, but one you should avoid nonetheless.
I don't think you're an alcoholic. And I don't think you should drink. I've never understood the importance of the label. Most people agree that abstaining from meth is a good idea whether one is a meth addict or not, and it sounds like this attitude towards alcohol would serve you. For you it's a harder drug - perhaps not one you're addicted to, but one you should avoid nonetheless.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi all! I read a book, the easy way to stop drinking, and I am not mentioning it because I am promoting his methods, however he makes some valid points in that he reminds us that any consummation of alcohol can lead to alcoholism for anyone. Alcohol is a poison and a drug that does no good for anyone so why drink it? He equates it to smoking, which used to be socially acceptable and isn't anymore. And he reminds us that the alcohol lobby is a powerful group which is why there is so little discussion in the public about how it is the most destructive drug in the world. Not only can it destroy your life but the lives of everyone around you. Who cares I you are an alcoholic or not, almost everyone can become one, drinking has zero benefits so if I were you I would give it up:-)
P.s. I equate buying alcohol, as a non-alcoholic, the same as supporting the tobacco industry even if you don't smoke, do you really want to support this destructive industry in any way shape or form?
P.s. I equate buying alcohol, as a non-alcoholic, the same as supporting the tobacco industry even if you don't smoke, do you really want to support this destructive industry in any way shape or form?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome and glad you are here. You have plenty of support and lots of great info including all the input in this thread.
I call myself an alcoholic because I am. I don't need to explain it to others or post it on my facebook. For me, I can not control my drinking once I start. I could go periods of time without boozing but once I started it was out of my control. It continued on to the point it did become daily as it was part of my life.
I had to get real with myself and know what I am so I wouldn't keep on going and doing the same thing over and over.
Who really cares about the label though? The real meat of it is what alcohol does to you when you drink. Do you like your actions? Do you like what you say? Do you know why you can't stop once you start?
As so many great people have said.....if you are trying to control, cutback or moderate then it isn't good for you.
I like who I am sober and hate everything that I am when I am drunk. So in a nutshell that is the reason I stopped drinking.
Good for you on reaching out. You know the answer here friend. It doesn't sound like it is healthy in your life so just dump it. If it is rough going then come to SR or seek support. No one cares about labels but funny thing is......once we battle the battle the bottle and realize the mental desire is there then we start to understand what this whole alcoholism thing is. Much more then the physical craving or the amount or frequency we drink. Takes time to get but when I did I stopped and reached for support.
All the best
I call myself an alcoholic because I am. I don't need to explain it to others or post it on my facebook. For me, I can not control my drinking once I start. I could go periods of time without boozing but once I started it was out of my control. It continued on to the point it did become daily as it was part of my life.
I had to get real with myself and know what I am so I wouldn't keep on going and doing the same thing over and over.
Who really cares about the label though? The real meat of it is what alcohol does to you when you drink. Do you like your actions? Do you like what you say? Do you know why you can't stop once you start?
As so many great people have said.....if you are trying to control, cutback or moderate then it isn't good for you.
I like who I am sober and hate everything that I am when I am drunk. So in a nutshell that is the reason I stopped drinking.
Good for you on reaching out. You know the answer here friend. It doesn't sound like it is healthy in your life so just dump it. If it is rough going then come to SR or seek support. No one cares about labels but funny thing is......once we battle the battle the bottle and realize the mental desire is there then we start to understand what this whole alcoholism thing is. Much more then the physical craving or the amount or frequency we drink. Takes time to get but when I did I stopped and reached for support.
All the best
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 44
I've asked myself the same question time and time again. Then I came to realize that label or not if I think alcohol is a problem for me, then it is a problem for me. That's it, and thats all. Having a label attatched to me isn't going to change the fact that alcohol is or was rather controlling my life.
Thats just me though.
Thats just me though.
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