Mel8899

I so wish this was better. I had 13 days clean and then blew it again. My old employer is fighting me again for unemployment. I worked my a** off for him and do not deserve this.

My old boss gave me a new job, but it is so below my skill level I cannot reconcile myself to doing it. She is also the one person the can stop the unemployment crap, by she "has moved on" so I am on my own.

I am ready to give up. I already filed bankruptcy and plan to give up my house. If I lose tomorrow I think I may just move in with mom already and not have to work. Just so down right now, don't know how to get up. Birthday was Tues, happy birthday to me. Drank all day.

Melissa

SASA

Hi Melissa,
I am at day 25 now. I can tell you in the past I tried so many times and had to start over, but hink about the alternative: drinking never helps, it makes things worse, and only if you try you can change things. We are here to help you.

SereniTee

Happy Birthday for Tues Mel, it doesn't have to be that way for you next year I promise. Do you have any other support? Could youhave you see/n a therapist or try a meeting? Everything helps. Hope you feel better soon xx

Dee74

I'm sorry for your troubles Mel - but you and I both know drinking doesn't do a damn.

One of the things I've found is I have to dig myself out sometimes - even if some else put me in the hole, it's what it is. I spent a lot of time drinking when I could have been solving problems.

Are you looking for a new job - I'm not up with all the details but that seems like a better solution to me?

Happy birthday for Tuesday
D

Mel8899

Thanks everyone! Gotta get through tomorows hearing and then going to look for new employment. Just so much has happened since March including losing my job, my dog and my house. So sad, need to get back on my feet. So many people I have trusted have let me down. How to handle that without being vindictive?? Any advice?

Mel

Dee74

I went through something similar mel....

I had to learn that just because people let me down it didn't mean everyone would...trust is a great thing....

but it did mean I needed to work on my boundaries and learn not trust people too soon, or without cause.

My relationships are better for that these days

Good luck with your hearing.
D

keithj

Mel,
Is it possible these resentments have anything to do with you drinking again? See AA's Big Book pg 64 for their take on it.

Mel8899

just lost my job.

cat1961

Oh so sorry Melissa! And of course this is the perfect excuse to get wasted but it will NOT make anything better. You must stay sober and have a clear mind right now. I know it's tough cuz I've been there to many times. And of course most of those times I'd turn to drinking, get more depressed and then wouldn't get jack done. I've neglected so many things these last few weeks that it disgusts me.

But :day1

And really, a meeting would be in order! I went to one tonight (1st mind you) and felt so relieved being around sober people. Try not to be alone right now either, that was my mistake.

Good luck Dear!

Dee74

I'm sorry Mel - thats tough.
Cats advice is good tho.

I hope you can find something else right away and stave off all the other financial stuff.

D

Horselover

Melissa I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, but glad you can vent here. Birthdays, job loss, bankruptcies . . . so many triggers. You had some days under your belt. Did you experience any down times in life during those days? The key to sobriety is learning to handle these blows head on. I said learning because if you are like me you never did. I started back when my parents divorced when I was in high school. I didn't deal with their divorce and I didn't deal with ANYTHING after that. Its a learning process, but when you stop drinking the good news is that the depression will ease off. Depression or my depression was really exaggerated through drinking.

Sending you love and a lot of positive energy.

Mel8899

Thanks everyone! I have been in and out of recovery for some time. About 60 days in the last 120. Things are so rough right now, lost so much important to me. Gonna start new tomorrow with the unemployment hearing, Feeling so burned though. busted my ass for this company and she walked away with a new job and just fired me. So yeah resentment is playing a big part!!

Melissa

justjo

Mel, Its not about just trusting others, its really about just trusting Yourself!!
It took me years to work that one out - because I couldnt trust others, it just gave me an excuse to not trust me and blame everyone else for my problems. Once you trust yourself enough to believe in yourself - well, good things just happen.

Mel8899

thanks everyone, you are so right, the resentment is mine and drinking has helped nothing. Gotta get through tomorrow then see what happens.

Angelic17

Mel, I'm so sorry for the hard times you are going through right now. But, I do know that drinking wont help a thing, if anything it will make things worse.

So, like my mother used to say, Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. When one door closes, another one opens. Here's to believing that the good LORD has something so much better waiting ahead for you.

artsoul

Mel - I'm so sorry to hear about your job. I got sober a couple months ago and had to face something similar myself (haven't quite lost my house yet, though). Living with your mom for a short period of time might just give you a little breathing room and you never know: really great things could be waiting right around the corner for you.

We know what we'll get if we keep drinking, right? So we need to hang in long enough to see what our new lives are going to bring. You can do it (ODAAT).

CarolD

I won't list all the adversities that happened
since I got sober.....
I did not return to drinking over any.

The key for me was to continue to live the AA Steps.

All my best

Mel8899

Had my hearing today. Not sure how it went. The man I worked my ass off for referred to me as a clerical worker. Not sure what to do now except quit drinking and worry about the rest after.

hearnerules

Stay strong. In the end things will work out. I know this sounds cliche and hard but Im finally realizing it really is true after so many years.

Mel8899

Thanks everyone, no news on unemployment, but have a back up plan with mom. Quit drinking only hours, but a new start.