How to really get started??
 

I have been looking at this site since July 4th. So many wonderful people and stories just like mine. I swore I'd not ever drink another sip of anything. But stress and pressure...it just makes you do nothing but think of that glass of wine later. Any suggestions from those of you who have done it, as to how to really, really, QUIT. Not just for a day, or for two days, but to stick to it? I still can't believe I am in this position. I was good all week, since the 4th, but then I went and got a bottle of wine for tonight. (friday, no work tomorrow). I keep thinking, once a week...that's not so bad. But i think it is.

People say, if you really want to quit, you will. I feel I really DO...but yet...here I am a week later getting that bottle of wine! How do you just stop. Forever...?

Ideas and experiences welcomed!

You dont stop forever, you stop for one day at a time.

I found my will power was not sufficient
I committed myself to following the AA program.
It's been working great for me for years.
I do it daily.... forever is too long....:laughing:

Wishing you all the best sobriety brings....:yup:

Well, as has been suggested, it wasn't a 'forever' type of thing, it was a 'today' or 'one day at a time' thing.

Having said that, I had to really want sobriety. When I first heard people talk about getting sober, hearing that word, 'sober', was so strange. I could identify with being sober only in the sense that I needed to sober up so I could drive home, or so I could go to work, face the boss, the ex husband, take care of my kids, etc. Being sober was a temporary state of being, not a permanent condition.

But, when I decided I wanted to live my life differently, for good, and was willing to make some BIG changes, only then did it become possible.

It's like, one day, when my daughter was 11, she said, 'Mom, I'm going to become a vegetarian.' and I supported her wholeheartedly. Later in the day, though, we passed a hot dog vendor, and she asked me to buy her one. I explained to her that a hot dog was meat, and I thought she was now a vegetarian. She grew quiet, then said, 'I guess I don't want to be a vegetarian after all, then.' It's kind of a silly analogy, but it kind of illustrates my point. It wasn't important enough to my daughter to change her behaviour.

Is being sober important enough to you? If it is, you will take appropriate action, and make it happen.

Thanks guys. But...how do you even stop for one day at a time? I said before, I am way too mortified to attend an actual AA meeting. Perhaps I will never move on unless I do, but I just can't right now. NO offense toward the people who do go to the AA mettings... it's just that I am just not as brave as them. Any hope for someone who cannot force herself to go to an AA meeting?

I don't know if this helps but I first went through the frig and empty every beer down the drain.

I came upstairs, logged in here and just read and read.

Went to bed and repeated this. The key for me was not having anything around to tempt me. If I did get the idea to jump in the car to go buy beer I came back here or called a good friend who knows what I'm trying to do and we talked until the craving went bye bye.

It's a day at a time, an hour at a time and a minute at a time.

Thanks jennymac...I will try. I don't even have any friends who know exactly just how dependant i have become on my wine. This is another reason i probably should join a local AA, but I just can't. But I just need to be strong and resist the urge to stop by that damned liquor store on a Friday night.

I have read several posts on this site...I was so ashamed but it seems, there are so many nice people just like me, who are in the same boat. Who started drinking to drown some sorrow or other...it is such a bad deal.

Well. It is never too late to get started I guess.

:)

Of course....people do find sobriety without AA
many of our members are happily sober without
any formal program......:yup:

AA is not for everyone...nor does it have to be.
If you ever decide to check it out.....the door is open.
AA has never run a membership drive....:)

Hi elisa - Probably everyone who's ever tried to quit has been surprised at how difficult it was. I don't think I realized I had a real problem until I attempted it. Addiction is a pretty heavy duty issue and you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to turn your life around.

I haven't gone to AA this time getting sober, but I sure have worn out the keyboard on my laptop! There were times when I was hanging on by my teeth, but each morning now that I wake up sober, I am so glad I didn't drink the night before. Find some things about sobriety that you LIKE and focus on them. Make it a personal challenge and know that you have the strength inside you to succeed. Also, just think about where you'll be a year from now or 5 years from now if you don't stop.

In the end, though, all the tricks in the book will work only if you WANT them to.

We ALL are going through this Elisa1 so please don't feel it's only you. I use to think that myself. No one KNOWS what I'm going through but from here and AA (yes, I too had to work up the nerve to go) I know I'm not alone and you aren't either.

My friend that knows first asked me when I told her if I meant no drinking forever or just learn to moderate. I said forever is the plan. She may not totally understand but she totally supports my decision. All of us here support you so read and post away.

Thank you all. I feel better just for reading your messages, and feeling that I am NOT alone. (whereas, before, I thought I was alone, and I didn't know what to do)

This is a good site. I will try very hard to hang in there with everyone.
Artsoul is right-i have to remember how good it feels to wake up in the morning and not feel a bit sick to my stomach from the night before. AND I am trying to think hard about what things will be like even 1 year (let alone 5 years) from now if I do not give this bad habit up...

Thanks again.

Elisa, they say when the fear of staying the same outweighs the fear of changing, change will happen. I echo everyone here who said one day at a time, one second at a time. I can't tell myself I'll never drink again because it overwhelms me so much that the fear of changing will win and I would drink. Vicious circle. I have found coming straight on to SR and reading threads each day at my usual drinking time has helped tremendously. Best of luck on your journey. :wink:

Welcome to SR and know that you are not alone!!! All of us are here for a reason and that is to get sober, remain sober and to hopefully help others as we have been helped.

SR is a full of support and tons of stories and experience that all of us in some way can relate or connect to.

Taking it one day at a time is important but the first step for me was tossing out the booze and never taking a sip. Oh it can be hard even a week after stopping. The alcoholic mind can tell you that just one won't hurt and that you can moderate. Alcoholics do not know moderation. I know that right now if I were to have one drink.....then I would have a bottle or two until either I ran out and had no way to get more or I would pass out.

The key is to remaining sober is your recovery. I used SR and counseling to help me come to grips with underlying issues and it helped me find constructive positive ways to live my life outside of the bottle. Positive change was critical for me. Just beating the same path was what brought me right back to the bottle each time.

You can do this friend but yes...will power is needed to keep your from reaching for the bottle at first but a solid program of recovery will help you see how amazing sobriety is and to help you start your new life.

All the best!!

I kept getting more and more sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. I tried and failed many times but never gave up. Now I have seven months sober - one day at a time. And if a chronic relapser like me can do it, so can you!:)

I am using rational recovery, the site is rational.org. You say, I will never drink again. Never. And you learn to recognize that Addictive Voice, the one that tells you that wine will make everything better. It lies to you, it deceives you, it will kill you to get that alcohol. Tell it NO!

This is how I quit smoking over 6 years ago. I said, finally, "I will never smoke again." And no matter what happened, smoking is not an option. Drinking is no longer an option now, either.

Check it out, AA didn't sit right with me, either, but this does. From what I read here and on other sites, there are many, many ways to get sober, but they all entail saying, Drinking is not an option.

Good luck,
Nancy

The desire to drink needs to be stronger than the desire to drink. Then you need to take it one day at a time. Hugs!

Just don't drink 'just for today' as been already outlined.

Try to live life and think about things 'one day at a time'. You should find this makes your mind quiten down and stop worrying about things that may never happen.

Also recognise that if you're an alcoholic then YOU are the problem. Not the drink per se. Unless YOU dramatically change then in all probability you will end up drinking again. If not then you will just be the same drunk minus the booze and probably feeling extremely frustrated, ungrateful and resentful.

I use AA, Sr + much wisdom from elsewhere. Which ever method you use to keep your sobriety then the real work starts when the drink is put down. What is going to stop you picking up again weeks or months down the line if you are still thinking about yourself, others and life in the same way?

Altered Attitude. I heard that shared by a lady with 3 years sober about a year ago at AA. If you get an altered attitude in recovery then you're making progress.

Change is essential. Change in 'people, places and things' and a change in mind and outlook on life.

All The Best

Hi Elisa and welcome to SR

NEO makes an important point. A change in thinking is pivotal to a change in drinking.

You must believe you can do it, just for a day. If you believe every morning when you wake up that you can do without a drink just for today, you have initiated a new pattern of thinking that reinforces itself day by day. At the end of the week, your mind will be stronger.

Fortunately, this move toward change has a subtle domino effect that, as it gains momentum, starts empowering other parts of your life. Yes, it is hard, but sometimes hard can be beautiful. :)

Hi,

I agree that thinking about 'forever' can be overwhelming, so work on staying sober for today. But, for me, I had to accept that drinking was no longer an option, and once I did that, I began to find new and healthy ways to deal with stress. As long as the option to drink was even slightly open, that's where I went.

There are many recovery methods, and hopefully you will find one that works for you. I always find inspiration when I come here.

Thank you all so much for your comments. I would never have believed that strangers would care so much about what happens to me.

I am trying...! I will take that advice, and not think 'forever' but just think, one day at a time.