suriv

I am very sorry to bothrer you,

I am a 39 year old guy who started drinking at age 25. My father is an alcoholic and I vowed to never become like he was. Genetics........... I have attended a very prestigious university and am a professional in my field of work. Have to admit I am a failure at trying to stop drinking alcohol. For 15 years now, I have tried to stop with my "intellect". No success.

Sorry about my writing. I am drinking as of now but WANT so much to quit. I am not having fun. I drink alone. I have a girlfriend who I love dearly. I have never cheated on her. She does not know about my problem.

I have been to AA for about 6 years. I was able to stop for a year and became a popular figure as a guest speaker. It got to my head. I am a loner remember? I relapsed.

When the craving comes up , I become powerless.

I am writing the following but I believe alcohol will have the better of me.

I am slowly dying. I cannot take it anymore

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I hope that you will not give up and give in to alcoholism. It is a relentless disease, but you will find lots of support here for stopping drinking.

Dee74

Hi Surviv

I batted myself for 15-20 years too. I thought it would get the best of me too, but I was wrong.

There's always hope - for anyone who wants to try
You'll find a lot of support here

D

bbr

Hi Suriv,

You can find help here, as many of us have. You can beat this!

BBR

RobbyRobot

Hi Suriv,

Sorry your so disheartend. It does get tough when we feel like it just wont come together. That year you accomplished in recovery in AA is yours to own. The cravings can be removed entirely and the illness of your alcoholism arrested. None of us as alcoholics have any proofs against the obsessions except that we are spiritually fit with a pyschic change that offers us a daily reprieve. Its enough for sober living. Things can be different again. Dont give up on sobriety.

I hope you continue your journey here with these great SR forums.

RR

artsoul

I'm glad you're here, suriv. We all need help to stop drinking, whether it's SR, AA, an addiction specialist, or inpatient treatment. I hope you keep reaching out for support until you find what works for you. No one deserves to suffer like we do when we're drinking.

Keep reading and posting - we understand what you're going through.

Lenina

survi,

We understand. I'm glad you're reaching out. If AA hasn't worked for you, check out Rational Recovery or SMART. We can and do get free from alcohol and live contented lives. Today, I have joy in life I didn't think I was capable of!

Keep reading and posting!

Love,

Lenina

least

I've tried and failed to stay sober, over and over, but now have seven months because I never gave up! Check out different recovery programs. Maybe see about an addiction counselor. Or check out some outpatient therapy. Or AA - again. Look for something that works for you and then work it like your life depends on it... cause it does.

Welcome to SR! This site has helped me so much. I hope we can do the same for you.

coffeenut

I hope you're ready to stop. You can, you know. It's all up to you.

Stick close to SR. Read and post a lot. I'm glad you're here.

HumbleBee

Welcome Suriv,

As you know, alcohol does not discriminate.

I was a professional like you and handled my sobriety professionally as well (first time around). All of the analytical and rational behaviors and intellect that got me ahead in my career was what I relied on to get and keep me sober. Wrong.

It wasn't until I got really personal about my recovery that I was able to take off the mask, stop the fascade and simply surrender - and I mean surrender in my heart, not my head.

What finally worked for me was one-on-one counseling with a man who was not only trained in alcoholism; he's been in recovery himself for 15 years.

He saved my life and it was effective because there was no audience, no grandstanding; he was my mirror and helped me to face my fears head-on and really taught me how to live a contented, full life in recovery, including understanding and handling my feelings of powerlessness, what to do when cravings strike, the whole enchilada. And our meetings were once a week, at night, which was convenient.

You are not a bother; you are not a failure. Many of us have walked in your shoes, you are not alone. Alcohol does not have to be the victor here and there are many options available to help you. SR is one of them; full of the best people I've ever come to know. I'm glad you're with us.

yeahgr8

Welcome:-)

CarolD

Have you checked with your doctor about a medically supervised
de tox? That's always a wise move....but you must be honest
about your drinking for correct assistance.

Welcome to our recovery community....

keithj

When I went to AA and didn't drink, I made it almost a year before relapsing.

When I abandoned myself completely to AA's suggested program of recovery, my whole perception of life and my place in it transformed and I never had to drink again.

nancylee

I quit smoking with the help of a site like this. Also, I find Rational Recovery to be very helpful, it is very different than 12 Steps, but works for some people. It is helping me.

You can do this!!!

nancy

cheesegrits

You should try to find some thing to do besides drinking alone. That's the hardest time. But remember you're not alone, just bored. Find something to replace that need. I started hitting a punching bag until I could hardly stand up. Not only did it tire me out, but I'm in great shape. I know every drop of booze is just going to add calories and make me hungover and fat. I also play xbox, read, write music, walk my dog, ride my bike, lift weights, write in this forum. Basically anything but drink. Time goes by and you forget the need. One more reason, your relationship with your gf is going to tumble as she realizes your dependency. Alcohol will always be your first gf, she'll be second. Trust on me this. Think about her. Make yourself the best person you can be. Who knows maybe you'll get married and have kids. Either way you have to be 100%. Good luck.

suriv

thank you for responding to me. I have tried too many times to quit. I am much in debt. Banks are chasing me down. I am at the end of it. I tried. I lost..

postparty82

Debt isn't the end. You can get your finances in order once you are able to stay sober. Being sober really helped me become financially better off and begin to budget/save more. I was sober for awhile and relapsed just like you. Now I'm trying again. Thats all we can do... keep trying. If we truly want to quit, we will find a way..... Don't let all your stress come down on you at once. Focus on sobriety first and let the rest come later!

Hevyn

Suriv, You haven't lost. You came back to post, so you must have a ray of hope. I drank for 25 yrs. It was a way of life for me, & I had no clue how I'd get along without it. I was so miserable being a slave to it - needing it in my system to exist. I figured I may as well see what it was like to stop numbing myself.

You say you want so much to quit, that it's no longer fun. Half the battle is acknowledging that - some are never able to. I know for me, the euphoric feeling I once got could never come back. I was poisoning myself, & no amount I poured down my throat did the job anymore. No matter how black things seem now, you can rebuild your life. Please keep talking to us.

Dee74

suriv

you can only lose if you give up the fight...

many of us have faced debt, ill heath, tragedy...and come through it, sober.

You can do it too. You've already seen what the support is like here

D

cheesegrits

If I had a dollar for every bank that was chasing me down, I'd...........wait, then they wouldn't be chasing me! F the banks, they can wait. You'll get back on your feet again. People get rich, broke and rich again. Debt is temporary. Living is priceless. Everyone is hurting. Salaries have never adjusted to the economy for the past 20 years. You only lose when you let them win.