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Old 07-05-2010, 08:20 PM   #1 (permalink)
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After 8 1/2 months of sobriety I drank.


Well I did it. I had been thinking of drinking again for a few weeks and finally decided to on fourth of july after watching some beautiful fireworks. I don't regret it, though my headache doesn't feel that great. I am going to try and moderate. I would like to drink and party on the weekend but if things start getting too out of hand I will go back to aa. I want to still try to be spiritually fit and keep the 12 steps in my life. Any words?
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hope it works for you. SR and AA will be here if it doesn't.
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Good luck. it's been my experience that if it got out of hand once it has a darn good chance of getting out of hand again.

Cheers,
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I agree with Chavo.

It's one of the hardest things to learn, but if you're an alcoholic like me, we can't turn back the clock - I believe we are what we are LLG, and the way to happiness and true recovery lies in accepting that.

What makes you think you won't get 'sick and tired' again?
D
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:38 PM   #5 (permalink)
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had a huge urge to try the same thing this weekend but Im only at 3 months insted of 8, keep us updated, Im interested to see how it goes... oh and good luck...
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:41 PM   #6 (permalink)
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From what I've experienced, it doesn't really matter how long you went, whether it's 3 month, 12 months, or 2 years. Once an alcoholic starts drinking again, it doesn't take long at all to end up right back where they left off. I've heard the stories time and time again. If you are determined to try moderation, then go ahead and try it. You're going to do whatever you want to do anyway. Like I said, AA and SR will be around if it doesn't work for you.
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- Anna Sewell
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:56 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I spent 20 years trying to work a moderation programme, searching.
20 years wasted - I don't recommend it.

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Old 07-05-2010, 09:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
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As you know.....AA is not a program for anyone
preparing to be a weekend drinker.

It for those interested in total recovery and by
following the 12 Steps....have a spiritual experience/life.

You can make positive changes in your life without AA
However...AA is not ever about moderate drinking.


I do hope you will soon quit again and return to AA.
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Old 07-05-2010, 09:34 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I wrote a whole reply and then lost it....I hit 9 months yesterday...glad I didn't drink...

Quote:
I don't regret it, though my headache doesn't feel that great. I am going to try and moderate.
This doesn't sound good to me. Headache? Did you over indulge? Does this not tell you anything? I believe that I might truly be alone in October.
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Old 07-05-2010, 09:44 PM   #10 (permalink)
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hey LiveLikeGold6,

I was wondering if you would mind expanding those "few weeks" prior to drinking a little bit more. I'm early in recovery & would appreciate any patterns that started to take place, for example: not attending as many meetings, not calling the sponsor etc. or if it was really just an in the moment snap of the finger decision.

All the words I have to offer are,
If I chose to drink I know it would affect my spiritual relationship, because once I have one, that turns into a few, it's impossible for me to hear that still small voice & then I'm left with the chaos that is my mind & actions that manifest from chaotic thoughts. This is why I can not drink. I can not hinder that lifeline.
The journey is life & I wish you well in yours. I need & want to be sober to experience mine, or it'd slip away faster than it already is.
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Old 07-05-2010, 10:31 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Sucks that you succumbed to the holiday drinking urge. Luckily I was at work all day, but I'm sure I wouldn't have had a drink if I'd been off work. I believe that it was a miracle that caused me to stop drinking, and in my view of things miracles come from my God. So I'll be damned if I'm causing his miracle to be wasted by me going out and drinking again.

But even without that view of things, any objective person would clearly say that my drinking behavior was insane. The things I did to hide drinking, the way I tried to rationalize my actions, always on the lookout for cops, telling lies to people I cared about, passing out on the couch with my clothes on while a beautiful woman was in my bed, the insanity of thinking if I continue to do the same things (drinking and trying to control it) that somehow things would turn out differently...Sane people don't do the things I did when I was drinking. So if I decide to go out and drink again, I'm effectively giving away my sanity. I know the insane behavior that will follow, so by choosing to drink, I'm making the conscious decision to begin living like an insane person again. Because as soon as I take that first drink, my insanity will start as I try to control my drinking, try to wait a while between sips, try to rationalize having only 1 shot with just a couple beers. No thanks.

So you're going to try some moderation. Good luck with all that. We'll all be here. At least I don't intend to go anywhere.
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Old 07-05-2010, 10:33 PM   #12 (permalink)
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You've been to AA and you have probably heard, or read in the BB, that if you aren't done then go and try some controlled drinking which is exactly what you are doing...

AA will always be there, ready for you to work the 12 steps with your sponsor with rigorous honesty to achieve your spiritual awakening so you can have a life free from alcohol...it will also be there if you want to do **** all else but go to meetings and not drink hoping that the sober fairy will come everyday to stave off the evils of the drink;-)

In the meantime stay away from firework displays during the week!
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Old 07-05-2010, 10:33 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I haven't been in recovery that long either. June 20th is my sober birthday. One year for me. There are three phrases that I have lived my sobriety by the first one is Don't Drink, Don't Worry, and Don't Doubt; The second is practice not perfection; and the third is daily inventory.

I have lost the urges, temptations, and alcohol associations. I have ACCEPTED the fact that I CAN'T EVER HAVE ANOTHER DRINK AGAIN. I was never an everyday drinker. I was a sloppy, out-of-control, unmanageable binge drinker, who knew once I started drinking for the weekend there was a slim chance that I would be able to quit until Early Sunday morning.

My sponser told me early on in sobriety that if you hang around a barber shop long enough eventually you will get a haircut. I had to remove many of the association things in my life such as weddings, birthday parties, holiday events ect for the first six months. I had rock solid support from my wife and family to always have an "out" such as having my own vehicle, making an escape plan, ect to remove myself from "association" type activities. I have seen people try and do the social thing. My suggestion is this. If you think you need a meeting go if you don't think you need a meeting go to two. The door and phone is always open and if it doesn't work to become a "NORMY" then come back and work/live a bigger, more complete, thorough program. Good Luck
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Old 07-06-2010, 12:14 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I appreciate all of your responses. I'm just going to take it on day at a time I might be back in aa in a week, a year or never.I just don'tknow right now I'm only doing whats in front of me.

Someone asked what the patterns were before I drank, I wasn't going to meetings, and I was hanging out with old friends, and putting work and other ambitions before aa. Thanks for your support.
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Old 07-06-2010, 01:19 PM   #15 (permalink)
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AA doesn't have to come before everything else; your recovery does. Now, if AA is the program that helps you maintain sobriety (as it is mine), then you should make every conceivable effort to do what you need to do in that program to ensure you do not take a drink. If you use something else, then that "something else" is what you need to focus on.

If going to meetings helped you to not drink, and you drank again after you weren't going to meetings, then there's obviously some correlation there. But I really don't see how you can "keep the 12 steps in my life" if you're drinking, considering that Step 1 is admitting you are powerless over alcohol, and ingesting alcohol pretty much runs counter to that. Without Step 1, I'd have to think there's a pretty low likelihood of working the others.
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Old 07-06-2010, 01:27 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by LiveLikeGold6 View Post
I want to still try to be spiritually fit and keep the 12 steps in my life.
Speaking only for myself, that would be impossible for me to do while still drinking. Nothing more than another trip over the well-trodden path of fantasy.
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Old 07-06-2010, 01:28 PM   #17 (permalink)
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good luck with that.. I've been trying for 30 years to "try and moderate".
If you have a headache already than I'm guessing the moderation was somewhat unsuccessful...That said, I really do wish you luck but you'll be really special if you manage to pull it off.
nn
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Old 07-06-2010, 02:00 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I agree with notnormal headache = overindulging = drinking for the high, not the taste = drinking more and more each time = relapse. I hope you make it back friend, most don't.

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Old 07-06-2010, 06:39 PM   #19 (permalink)
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LLG,

Hope you don't have to learn the hard way like me.

I decided I was healthy enough (mentaly and physically) after seven and a half years clean and sober to drink "moderately ". Being as motivated and steadfast as I was in my resolve, ...I began to waste almost a decade of my life beating myself up with booze ;.......and the abuse just got progressively worse over the years .....before finally learning to truly experience life again.


I sincerely wish it works out for you,
....and really hope you will find help sooner than I did;.... if it doesn't.




Grateful in Carolina ....DOS , 4-4-10


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Old 07-06-2010, 06:52 PM   #20 (permalink)
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"AA doesn't have to come before everything else; your recovery does." I never thought about it that way.
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