Vival

I haven't posted in here for a while mainly because I started to drink again probably harder than I ever have. I found that I craved alcohol for forgetting what stuff that has gone in my life recently. Last night I woke up in a bed of a girl that I don't remember meeting and she was acting all excited about what happened the night before. Seems like I made her believe that she was very important to me and gained her trust even though she has been through a lot with every guy she has had interest in. Over forth of July was even worse there is photos of me that me and my brother and law agreed to destroy kinda a moment from the movie the hangover. I haven't done anything as bad as when I first posted. That girl still hasn't forgiven me and my work situation is a wreck still. I just feel like everything I touch when I drink ends up getting hurt though. That girl from last night put her trust in me yet I don't have any interest in her and will end up being another guy to hurt her in the long run. Well I have work in an hour and still feel the effects of alcohol from last night hopefully the boss doesn't notice but this needs to stop yet apparently I can't stop for some reason. Sorry for the rant but I'm just frustrated with myself I feel like I'm going the same route of my grandfather who was also a alcoholic and ruined most relationships he ever touched.

ANGELINA243

I'm glad you posted. Yes, I had alot of crazy stuff happen too while I was drinking. I have found from my own experience that stuff never changes, well only that it seemed to get worse each time. There is hope. You are not alone. What have you thought about doing differently this time? Keep posting. We do recover.

Anna

I hope that you come back and re-read this post when you feel the desire to drink again.

Addiction is such a powerful disease, but you can stop drinking and move forward with your life.

BrightLine

Haha, wish I could do that while off my head. The closest I got was accidentally sleeping in someone elses car.

I don't mean to make light of it, even though I am. The thing I tell myself about the cringe-worthy stuff I've done is no one was seriously hurt, I wasn't really well because being drunk is like being ill really, and one billion chinese people don't care.

Kmber2010

Glad you are back but know that all of this will stop when you put down the bottle and put yourself first. You can do this but you need to get sober and get into recovery.

You can heal from this. I think we all knew when it was time to stop.....there is a whole new life waiting for you.

All the best.

Vival

I really don't know what I'm going to do different this time. One thing I've thought of doing is going to look into counseling to sort out some of the issues in my life that cause me to drink in the first place. AA meetings aren't really an option since the closest ones are more than an hour drive away. Strange that there isn't meetings here where I live since I live in a big time party college town. I have talked to my parents and close family about wanting to stop drinking. The first time I stopped they where very supportive but I think I ruined that support channel because I ended up going back to the same old me. They where hopeful the first time but now its going to be more like we'll believe it when we see it.

Thanks for the support though I appreciate it. I also know what happened last night could of been a lot worse I just don't like hurting people which is what the end result in this is going to be.

least

You got that right, and the person you'll hurt the worst is YOU. I'm glad you are looking into counseling for any 'issues' you are having. My counselor (an addiction specialist) has been very helpful to me, not just about drinking but all areas of my life. I hope it's as helpful to you.

onestepforward

You must be feeling so terrible right now, but you came back on here and that is great. I hope this is another step toward sobriety for you!

Dee74

hey Vival

I kept on making a worse and worse mess of my life, and others until I decided I'd do whatever it takes.

Try the counselling - and whats an hour each way a few times a week to a meeting when you put it against the time you've spent drinking?

D

CarolD

I'm sorry you went back to drinking
please try again....