Hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 3
Hi
Hi,
Stumbled on your site quite a while ago now but check it out from time to time cos its nice to know how many ppl who are out there a bit like me :-)
It feels a bit strange, this is the first time I've spoken to anyone like this.
I'm I suppose what you call a 'functioning alcoholic', I'm 35 years old, I love booze, I have for as long as I can remember (I had to drink a bottle and half of wine just to do this). And thats the problem now, I'm very controlled by my drinking, I'm not a pain in the arse with it, I don't cause any trouble but my life does revolve around it.
I've never been a day drinker, but I always end up thinking about it whilst I'm in work..am I going to have a beer when I get home? Or am I going to seriously force myself to go to the gym which I have done a lot in the past but its just so ******* boring :-)
The other part of my life that has totally stopped now is the clubbing.
I was a 'nineties child', I was a massive clubber roundabouts when e was fresh and everyone was doing it, it was a blast! Cant bloody remember a great deal but it was fantastic. My short term memory is pretty shocking now tbh, I feel gutted but at the same time I met some fantastic friends who I'm still friends with till this day, but I do wonder what could have been.
I've basically become paranoid now because of my memory problem. I find it hard to hold simple convrersations and so I basically hide myself away apart from my very close friends and family and if I need to see or have a chat with a mate on the phone I haven't spoken to a for long time I have to to get pissed before and then I can talk for ages (but then not remember the conversation).
I know my probs are pretty lame comparison to a lot of peeps on this site, just needed to sound off a little, I hope u understand x
Stumbled on your site quite a while ago now but check it out from time to time cos its nice to know how many ppl who are out there a bit like me :-)
It feels a bit strange, this is the first time I've spoken to anyone like this.
I'm I suppose what you call a 'functioning alcoholic', I'm 35 years old, I love booze, I have for as long as I can remember (I had to drink a bottle and half of wine just to do this). And thats the problem now, I'm very controlled by my drinking, I'm not a pain in the arse with it, I don't cause any trouble but my life does revolve around it.
I've never been a day drinker, but I always end up thinking about it whilst I'm in work..am I going to have a beer when I get home? Or am I going to seriously force myself to go to the gym which I have done a lot in the past but its just so ******* boring :-)
The other part of my life that has totally stopped now is the clubbing.
I was a 'nineties child', I was a massive clubber roundabouts when e was fresh and everyone was doing it, it was a blast! Cant bloody remember a great deal but it was fantastic. My short term memory is pretty shocking now tbh, I feel gutted but at the same time I met some fantastic friends who I'm still friends with till this day, but I do wonder what could have been.
I've basically become paranoid now because of my memory problem. I find it hard to hold simple convrersations and so I basically hide myself away apart from my very close friends and family and if I need to see or have a chat with a mate on the phone I haven't spoken to a for long time I have to to get pissed before and then I can talk for ages (but then not remember the conversation).
I know my probs are pretty lame comparison to a lot of peeps on this site, just needed to sound off a little, I hope u understand x
Striving to be a better Man!
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 266
Welcome (back) to SR. I can relate to soo much of your story, my life was very similiar to what you shared. I was very worried that I had done serious damage to myself as well. Even after a month or so I still felt like my brain was messed up but after staying sober for a period of time I think I am getting my mind back. I think you have come to the realization that your lifestyle is no longer working for you and now its time to take action!
You can do it man! One day at a time!
You can do it man! One day at a time!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi and Welcome,
I'm glad you found us!
You might find that your short-term memory improves when you stop drinking. And, alcoholism is very isolating. At the end of my drinking days, I had cut off contact with almost everyone.
Please know that you can stop drinking and begin to recover.
I'm glad you found us!
You might find that your short-term memory improves when you stop drinking. And, alcoholism is very isolating. At the end of my drinking days, I had cut off contact with almost everyone.
Please know that you can stop drinking and begin to recover.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome ph10! Alot of us were "functioning" alcoholics, although the functional part seems to get less and less, the more drinking we do. I had several drinks before I got the nerve to post for the first time, too, so I can relate.
I rarely drank before late afternoon and even would moderate for a few days during the week (like have 3 glasses of wine instead of a whole bottle). And my life revolved around getting it, hiding it, trying to act sober when I had a buzz, trying to limit my drinks, switching to beer, etc..... Anything other than go without!
So yeah, you're story sounds familiar and I'm glad you're here. Sobriety is so much better than I imagined. I hope you keep posting and reading!
I rarely drank before late afternoon and even would moderate for a few days during the week (like have 3 glasses of wine instead of a whole bottle). And my life revolved around getting it, hiding it, trying to act sober when I had a buzz, trying to limit my drinks, switching to beer, etc..... Anything other than go without!
So yeah, you're story sounds familiar and I'm glad you're here. Sobriety is so much better than I imagined. I hope you keep posting and reading!
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Hi ph10:
Welcome aboard!! My problem isn't alcohol, but opiates. But as a recovering addict, I can understand the struggle you are having. We'd all like to be able to live a normal healthy life w/o our addiction problem. But here we are! Dealing with an addiction problem where there are so many others that don't have an addiction problem. We can live w/o our DOC. There are so many that are already doing it, including myself with over 160 days clean. I have chronic pain, but I've learned to work around it. I truly HATE the person I am while I'm on the opiates. Not remembering conversations you have with friends and loved ones is a real bummer. I've done it myself. Or having your siblings or parents tell stories of your childhood and you have no memory of it. Our liver also takes a BEATING from the drugs and alcohol. And those you can't just buy for replacement on a store's shelf!
Keep reading and posting. There are lots of folks here on SR to talk to.
TOD
Welcome aboard!! My problem isn't alcohol, but opiates. But as a recovering addict, I can understand the struggle you are having. We'd all like to be able to live a normal healthy life w/o our addiction problem. But here we are! Dealing with an addiction problem where there are so many others that don't have an addiction problem. We can live w/o our DOC. There are so many that are already doing it, including myself with over 160 days clean. I have chronic pain, but I've learned to work around it. I truly HATE the person I am while I'm on the opiates. Not remembering conversations you have with friends and loved ones is a real bummer. I've done it myself. Or having your siblings or parents tell stories of your childhood and you have no memory of it. Our liver also takes a BEATING from the drugs and alcohol. And those you can't just buy for replacement on a store's shelf!
Keep reading and posting. There are lots of folks here on SR to talk to.
TOD
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 3
Thank you all so much, just checked and had all these replys!
Thank you.
Can I ask, what is the first thing that you change?
i know there is a lot of self disipline involved, but how did you all start, if u dont mind we asking?
Thank you.
Can I ask, what is the first thing that you change?
i know there is a lot of self disipline involved, but how did you all start, if u dont mind we asking?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 780
Originally Posted by ph10 
Can I ask, what is the first thing that you change?
i know there is a lot of self disipline involved, but how did you all start, if u dont mind we asking?
i know there is a lot of self disipline involved, but how did you all start, if u dont mind we asking?
Another was this sight, reading and posting helps so so so much.
Day 8
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 173
PH for me so much changed in the last 90 days that I could not control and had nothing to do with drinking. Job loss, bankruptcy, and loss of my dog. After over 20 years of "functioning" with alcohol, I knew I needed to stop especially in the wake of everything happening or I would never pick myself back up and get back on my feet. I did manage to not drink about 50 of that 90 day period, but when I did, it was all day benders as I was not working.
I finally, 10 days ago, made a big change and that was to quit lurking and start posting here. The support and info has been great.
Since my whole life is changing I decided to just go with it and changed other things as well. I tend to be a loner and although I enjoy my alone time, I have been making an effort to get out more, walking and swimming, spending more time with non drinking friends.
I have gone back to work part time and will be going full time soon, but in a job well below my skill level, but that is ok for now, a chance to concentrate on myself without all the responsibility I had before.
I also have increased hobbies I liked before drinking took up all my time like reading and cooking.
Basically I quit drinking so I could have a better life, so that is what I am concentrating on doing. It does not have to be exciting or even always good, as long as it is without alcohol, I consider it a good day!
Melissa
I finally, 10 days ago, made a big change and that was to quit lurking and start posting here. The support and info has been great.
Since my whole life is changing I decided to just go with it and changed other things as well. I tend to be a loner and although I enjoy my alone time, I have been making an effort to get out more, walking and swimming, spending more time with non drinking friends.
I have gone back to work part time and will be going full time soon, but in a job well below my skill level, but that is ok for now, a chance to concentrate on myself without all the responsibility I had before.
I also have increased hobbies I liked before drinking took up all my time like reading and cooking.
Basically I quit drinking so I could have a better life, so that is what I am concentrating on doing. It does not have to be exciting or even always good, as long as it is without alcohol, I consider it a good day!
Melissa
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
PH10 - I'd give anything if I'd recognized at 35 that my life was controlled by drinking. I was clueless and happy back then - figuring one day I'd cut down, would become a normal, social drinker. Instead, my tolerance became huge - and in the end I was drinking round the clock.
You are wise to see how dependent you've become on it. Alcoholism is a progressive disease - it will not stop until it kills you. Be thankful that you've seen the light. We're glad you're here, sharing your journey to sobriety with us.
You are wise to see how dependent you've become on it. Alcoholism is a progressive disease - it will not stop until it kills you. Be thankful that you've seen the light. We're glad you're here, sharing your journey to sobriety with us.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi Ph10
The first think I changed was not drinking. I know that sounds obvious, and maybe even a little stupid, but that was enough for me to focus on initially.
It a good idea to go see your Dr before you begin, just to be safe and hear what they have to say.
You'll find a lot of support here and a lot of ideas on where to go if you find you need more help than SR
Welcome
D
The first think I changed was not drinking. I know that sounds obvious, and maybe even a little stupid, but that was enough for me to focus on initially.
It a good idea to go see your Dr before you begin, just to be safe and hear what they have to say.
You'll find a lot of support here and a lot of ideas on where to go if you find you need more help than SR
Welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 274
Hi PH and welcome to SR,
No way is your problem pretty lame, I just wish there was a site like this 20 years ago i could have come to and maybe my problem would have not got out of hand.. But I don't think they had internet way back then LOL.
I only wish I could go back 20 years and just say no thanks, I don't drink, I was just like Hevyn my tolerance became huge - and in the end I was drinking round the clock to. Please Please think about taking control before it becomes harder, no one is lying when they say that Alcoholism is a progressive disease.
For me the key was accepting that I was a Alcoholic and reaching out for help, I was not able to solve this problem myself, nothing will change unless I change it if I every want to be happy, I need to find a way to make it happen like a program of recovery, AA is one option but there are others like Smart, LifeRing, etc.
Oh yeah, there's one more thing i would like to tell you and I herd it here. " that the elevator stops on all floors, YOU don't have to wait to get to the bottom before getting off!!!
Again welcome to SR, You'll get lots of support and good info & advice. Best wishes, and I hope you find your path in sobriety..
Road
No way is your problem pretty lame, I just wish there was a site like this 20 years ago i could have come to and maybe my problem would have not got out of hand.. But I don't think they had internet way back then LOL.
I only wish I could go back 20 years and just say no thanks, I don't drink, I was just like Hevyn my tolerance became huge - and in the end I was drinking round the clock to. Please Please think about taking control before it becomes harder, no one is lying when they say that Alcoholism is a progressive disease.
For me the key was accepting that I was a Alcoholic and reaching out for help, I was not able to solve this problem myself, nothing will change unless I change it if I every want to be happy, I need to find a way to make it happen like a program of recovery, AA is one option but there are others like Smart, LifeRing, etc.
Oh yeah, there's one more thing i would like to tell you and I herd it here. " that the elevator stops on all floors, YOU don't have to wait to get to the bottom before getting off!!!
Again welcome to SR, You'll get lots of support and good info & advice. Best wishes, and I hope you find your path in sobriety..
Road
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
Welcome to SR! Dee's advice is very simple but very accurate: stop drinking first and then learn how to live without it. Do see your doctor first cause alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous. Be safe when going thru the physical detox.
Dee's advice is very simple but very accurate: stop drinking first and then learn how to live without it. Do see your doctor first cause alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous. Be safe when going thru the physical detox.
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