Newcomer-am i in the right place?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11
Newcomer-am i in the right place?
I have been looking online and found this site. It has taken me a long time to even decide I have a problem. A few years ago, I lost my dad and one of my best friends-and for the first time in my life, I started drinking. 'Just' wine. I told myself, you aren't an alcoholic unless you drink gin and whiskey. But when I find myself wanting 'just' wine every night, I finally decided, I need help. I am SO mortified. My dear dad, who, himself, was an alcoholic for most of his life, would be ashamed of me. I am NOT honoring him by drowning my grief in wine. But I cannot help it. Recently, I had a medical issue come up, and have been prescribed a medication-with this medicine, you are NOT supposed to drink AT ALL. I have put off starting to take it! I keep telling myself, tomorrow, next week. etc. But I must not keep delaying it. I need this medicine. I am to ashamed to go to a local AA meeting. I cannot let my friends and family know about this. I hope to find some encouragement at this site. I do not drink a fifth of whiskey every day-so I guess that is good. But drinking a few glasses of wine every night-that is not good at all. I do need help. Just not sure where to find it. Any advice would be welcomed.
Elisa
Elisa
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bowling Green KY
Posts: 275
you're in the right place for help. this place helped me stop drinking nearly 10 months ago.
you picked a bad night to introduce yourself....most of us that have gone straight have been outside watching fireworks....
if someone was gonna relapse....this is one of the most tempting days of the year to do it as in my past life the 4th was all about getting lit...early and often.
you'll meet all 'levels' of drunks on this board. only you know if you truly have a problem but the fact that you even found this place speaks volumes. i can't even remember what i googled to find it...pretty sure it was 'how to stop drinking'....this place has been a godsend to me and i hope it does the same for you.
david.
you picked a bad night to introduce yourself....most of us that have gone straight have been outside watching fireworks....
if someone was gonna relapse....this is one of the most tempting days of the year to do it as in my past life the 4th was all about getting lit...early and often.
you'll meet all 'levels' of drunks on this board. only you know if you truly have a problem but the fact that you even found this place speaks volumes. i can't even remember what i googled to find it...pretty sure it was 'how to stop drinking'....this place has been a godsend to me and i hope it does the same for you.
david.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Welcome!!!
Do a little reading-here-swallow your pride and get your a** to a meeting.
You'll quickly discover there's no shame involved in being an alcoholic.
Funny quip, the guy at the meeting related how, when he was drinking, he wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen throwing up in the bushes outside the church, but heaven forbid anyone should see him sober walking into the church to attend a meeting.
Good luck.
Do a little reading-here-swallow your pride and get your a** to a meeting.
You'll quickly discover there's no shame involved in being an alcoholic.
Funny quip, the guy at the meeting related how, when he was drinking, he wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen throwing up in the bushes outside the church, but heaven forbid anyone should see him sober walking into the church to attend a meeting.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 67
Hi Elisa!
Welcome to SR. You'll find support and advice here. There's some great info in the stickies at the top of the page. Take some time to do some reading. We all know how hard it is to put the glass down but you can do it -- and the rewards for doing so are many.
I can relate to your post that you put off taking needed medication because it would interfere with your drinking. I did that, too. I finally saw how twisted my priorities had become.
Why not try an AA meeting? The only requirement is a desire to quit drinking, and you've got that. You'll meet some good people there. You might also try to break up your routine a bit...if you drink at night, go to a movie with friends or some place where alcohol isn't around.
Take care. Keep us posted.
ddog
Welcome to SR. You'll find support and advice here. There's some great info in the stickies at the top of the page. Take some time to do some reading. We all know how hard it is to put the glass down but you can do it -- and the rewards for doing so are many.
I can relate to your post that you put off taking needed medication because it would interfere with your drinking. I did that, too. I finally saw how twisted my priorities had become.
Why not try an AA meeting? The only requirement is a desire to quit drinking, and you've got that. You'll meet some good people there. You might also try to break up your routine a bit...if you drink at night, go to a movie with friends or some place where alcohol isn't around.
Take care. Keep us posted.
ddog
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 173
Elisa, welcome! You have nothing to be ashamed about. Dealing with loss and grief is one of the reasons I started drinking at 17. I too only drank wine, but it became an ingrained habit for the next 20 years.
You will find lots of support and so much information here.
Melissa
You will find lots of support and so much information here.
Melissa
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11
Thanks for your replies. I know it is July 4th! and everyone wants to be out having fun and drinking-something. But I also think, maybe this is my independence day from drinking even wine. or drinking anything. I am tired of being in this boat.
i do not see myself ever having the nerve to go to an actual AA meeting. I hope to find help here.
i do not see myself ever having the nerve to go to an actual AA meeting. I hope to find help here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 67
Elisa,
I think there are a good number of people who use only these boards for their support. Everyone's different, so if that works for you, that's wonderful. I'd just add: Keep an open mind. If you need more face-to-face support, there are other avenues besides AA.
ddog
I think there are a good number of people who use only these boards for their support. Everyone's different, so if that works for you, that's wonderful. I'd just add: Keep an open mind. If you need more face-to-face support, there are other avenues besides AA.
ddog
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome to the family, Elisa. David's right - there won't be much activity here tonight, but stay with us - this is an amazing place. People from all over, coming together with a common problem - helping each other to stay strong.
I googled "health issues of alcoholics" when up popped a post on here. I wasn't even intending to quit at that point, just wanted to see why I had so much pain around my liver & other symptoms. Once I got here, I was hooked. I wanted what these people had. I was no longer alone - everyone had been where I'd been, and they all understood. My family & friends had no clue what I was going through.
I'm sure your dad - of all people - would understand and not be ashamed of you. You've reached out for help because you don't want to destroy your life. That's something to be proud of - many never even try to change their destiny. I do believe that shame and guilt serve no purpose, & sometimes keep us from moving forward. Be kind to yourself and look to a brighter day. We look forward to hearing more about you.
I googled "health issues of alcoholics" when up popped a post on here. I wasn't even intending to quit at that point, just wanted to see why I had so much pain around my liver & other symptoms. Once I got here, I was hooked. I wanted what these people had. I was no longer alone - everyone had been where I'd been, and they all understood. My family & friends had no clue what I was going through.
I'm sure your dad - of all people - would understand and not be ashamed of you. You've reached out for help because you don't want to destroy your life. That's something to be proud of - many never even try to change their destiny. I do believe that shame and guilt serve no purpose, & sometimes keep us from moving forward. Be kind to yourself and look to a brighter day. We look forward to hearing more about you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: leaving hell
Posts: 23
Elisa, I thought the same thing about attending a meeting. I was very happy when I did and it's nice for the face to face. I also plan on attending a Smart Recovery meeting one of these days just to check it out.
At a meeting you get the face to face. The intimacy if you want to call it that. You don't have to say anything but just to hear people are going through the same thing did help.
Today was the first time I told my sister I was 5 days sober after I refused a beer and told her I was an alcoholic and I don't want to drink anymore.
Her first question was....have you gone to a meeting? I said yes, and she just had a look on her face like she was embarrassed for me. Then she said, your not an alcoholic!
Don't worry what others think or what they may say when you are not there. You are doing this for YOU. No one else but you.
Like you I was worried about what my family would think....but it all felt so good today when I said to them what I have said to a room full of strangers. I need help and I'm going to get it and do this.
Be strong.
At a meeting you get the face to face. The intimacy if you want to call it that. You don't have to say anything but just to hear people are going through the same thing did help.
Today was the first time I told my sister I was 5 days sober after I refused a beer and told her I was an alcoholic and I don't want to drink anymore.
Her first question was....have you gone to a meeting? I said yes, and she just had a look on her face like she was embarrassed for me. Then she said, your not an alcoholic!
Don't worry what others think or what they may say when you are not there. You are doing this for YOU. No one else but you.
Like you I was worried about what my family would think....but it all felt so good today when I said to them what I have said to a room full of strangers. I need help and I'm going to get it and do this.
Be strong.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: us
Posts: 115
Hi Elisa and welcome. You definitely are at the right place. As you read through the threads I think it will help with some of your shame that you have. We have all had different paths to recovery, some more dramatic then others, but we all share a commonality: We are alcoholics, and only WE can come to that conclusion. Welcome, keep posting ok? Tell us more about you...
Happy 4th (if you're in the U.S)
Happy 4th (if you're in the U.S)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11
Wow. Already I guess I am in the right place. Thank you all for your comments. My dad was such a sweet man-and I guess, if I could talk to him now, he would NOT be ashamed of me. He would realize I feel in the same trap he did. But I am sure he wouldn't want me to be here. Thank you all for your replies. I will keep checking in here...hopefully this day will be the first day of my quitting drinking anything but diet coke, water or orange juice.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi elisa! I'm glad you found us. It's not easy to admit we have a problem. It seems so "simple" - just stop drinking, right? Well, for us it doesn't work that way! But with support and taking it a day at a time, we can all help each other get through the cravings and challenges. I agree that your dad understands and has compassion for what you're going through. And now you understand him as well! So, it's all good. Keep posting and reading!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The Present
Posts: 425
Hi Elisa and Welcome!
You'll find lots of support and understanding here. Recognizing you may have a problem is an excellent starting point to finding a solution. Also, remember that each time you post, you're helping someone else too!
You'll find lots of support and understanding here. Recognizing you may have a problem is an excellent starting point to finding a solution. Also, remember that each time you post, you're helping someone else too!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Welcome to the SR family! 
I too drank 'just' wine, but my just having one glass in the afternoon to 'relax' soon turned into every day all day drinking, including drinking in the morning to stop the shakes.
I've tried and failed to quit so many times but never gave up hope and now I've got nearly seven months sober.
I'm glad you found us and joined the family! Staying sober one day at a time will get you to a better place, it sure has for me!
I too drank 'just' wine, but my just having one glass in the afternoon to 'relax' soon turned into every day all day drinking, including drinking in the morning to stop the shakes.
I've tried and failed to quit so many times but never gave up hope and now I've got nearly seven months sober.I'm glad you found us and joined the family! Staying sober one day at a time will get you to a better place, it sure has for me!
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