Jaffapoppy

Hi I am new here and have just started taking Antabuse. I only think about drinking when I get home from work to numb my worries. My husband has depression and drinks to mask his woes and I follow suit. I am tired of this. I went camping with friends yesterday and everyone stayed up until 3am drinking to excess. I don't want to live like this . I am sick and tired of everything. I am going to stay at a friends place for one week. She is a non drinker. I am a happy healthy person who runs marathons works out at the gym, but I come home and drink 5 to 6 standard drinks a night. God knows what it is doing to my liver. My husband judges me when I try to cut back and says I am being a goody two shoes. ..................I feel very alone in all this and I think the alcohol consumption is making me depressed. will I get withdrawals?
Sigh bye

MelindaFlowers

Hi Jaffapoppy,

I'm glad you've found this site. There are so many helpful people with a wealth of experiences with alcoholism.

I too drank every night when I got home from work around 5 pm. My partner is a nightly drinker but he doesn't seem to have the compulsion to drink like I did. I craved it and didn't know what do without it in the evening.

The amount I was drinking kept getting bigger until it took me about a half liter (14 units) between 5 pm and 11 pm to get the buzz I wanted and desired to relax and go to bed.

On weekends I would drink about the same amount but stay up extremely late like on your recent camping trip. Every time, every Saturday and Sunday when I would wake up at 1 pm, hungover, slowly shuffling through the house, I'd always feel terrible about myself. I'd ask myself, "What the h&ll are you doing? You're a full grown adult and its not like you went to a swinging wedding reception. All you did was watch 20/20, Nancy Grace, and watch youtube videos, alone?"

I too became "sick and tired of everything like you."

If it makes you feel any better, my partner is still drinking but it is not interfering with my sobriety. If you know in your heart that you want to be sober more than you want to drink, that's step 1. Step 2 is acting on it, not waivering, and not drinking. Once you've got those two steps down you've started the process.

During my first month I found it hard to remember that I actually did want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Whether it's writing in a journal, making a list and keeping it in your purse, or reading other people's posts on here, keep reminding yourself constantly why you wanted to stop drinking in the first place.

I hope to see you around!

Dee74

hi jaffapoppy

I don't think anyone here can predict what might happen when you quit - that's why I always suggest seeing a Dr first.

I'm sorry you don't have the support from your husband, but many members here face a similar thing - I know you'll always find support here, day or night.

Welcome to SR!
D

OZboy

...keep posting..

SR is a great site..Ozy...

alexvt

Hey good for you on taking your first step towards sobriety! The first week might be a little rough but everybody on SR is here for you at any given time. As days turn into weeks you will gain clarity, confidence and feel a hell of a lot better. Welcome!

XO

CarolD

Welcome....

De toxing from alcohol can be risky ...I'm glad you won't be alone.
Don't hesitate to call your doctor or go to an ER if you get scared.

I want to share a bit about the Antabuse.
As long as you have alcohol in your body.....you are not
supose to use it. That can give you an adverse reaction
and you will get violently ill.
Read the instruction paper that came with the Antabuse
and be sure to check with the doctor who prescribed it.

I did use Antabuse in early sobriety....I remember
I had to wait 4 days alcohol free before I began.
I also had to have a blood test to monitor my liver
enzymes every 2 months that I took Antabuse.

Antabuse is a powerful drug to use...be careful.

All my best as you move into a sober life....

Opivotal

Hi Jaffypoppy,

Good for you. Recovery will be the best thing you can do for yourself. It helps if you have support.......but.....if you have your mind made up no one can change that except you! Stay focused on your goal. If and I say if you feel any withdrawal symptoms think of your WORST night, day of drinking and hangover you felt. You got through that you can get through this too!! Leave that demon behind and feel the goodness of life again.

I DO know that alcohol will not help depression only makes things worse.
Sometimes people criticize when they are afraid the other person will get healthy.......get strong and they will be left behind in their own misery!

Come here often it'll help. Sure did help alot of us in early recovery.

artsoul

Welcome Jaff! I got to that same point where I saw that if I continued to drink, things could get bad pretty quickly. I work from home, so it was no problem starting earlier in the day. I used to make myself wait until 6:00 before having a drink. Then it became 5:00, then 4:00. Then I occassionally had one at lunch (then two) because it took the headache and anxiety away. And so on and so on, like the tide coming in on me. I tried to quit, moderate, plan and count my way through it, but I kept losing the battle.

It's not easy to admit we have a problem and I commend you for reaching out for support. Coming here made all the difference for me. Take it a day at a time and know that you really CAN get through this! The depression/anxiety will begin to lift and believe me, there's nothing like the mornings waking up without a hangover!

Jaffapoppy

Hi Everybody for your support and advice.

I had a wonderful day today with my friends who have taken me in while I deal with this. I went to the beach and had fish and chips, picked oranges on a farm and then went for a 40 min run by the river. I am staying at my friends again tonight. As I said my husband has depression and is switching meds at the moment and he is drinking to excess and to cope with his problems I was drinking more and more. I feel a bit panicky at the moment I want to call him and see how he is but I know he will be drinking and depressed and I need to do this for myself. We never used to drink as a couple until about 8 years ago (have been married for 19 now). Sometimes I think I have outgrown my marriage. Anyway thank you all for your support.

I have another thing coming up that is worrying me. I have organized a 4 night hiking trip away with the guys that drank way too much last weekend. I don't want bucket loads of alcohol along on the trip. the idea is to let nature restore you, not get blotto.........My husband got cross with me when I expressed my dissapointment in everyone drinking way too much last camping weekend. Any Ideas?

Thanks Jaffapoppy

Jaffapoppy

Thank you very much for your support and message and ideas
Jaffapoppy

artsoul

Hi again - I think what you're going to hear from everyone is that in early sobriety, it's really not a good idea to be around alot of drinking. I know it's hard, but you may need to distance yourself for a while in order to stay sober.
The first week or two was really critical for me.

I'm sorry to hear your husband is having a rough time right now. I hope he can be somewhat supportive of you. But even if he's not, you're doing the best thing for yourself, so stand strong. :ghug3

SereniTee

Good for you for making the 1st steps, don't worry about what your husband says, your not drinking makes him feel uncomforatble about his by the sound of it. I have some friends like that, seems like the only people who are suspicious of my new sobriety are the people who drink too much themselves. The feeling of dignity and pride you will find in yourself from living better and feeling healthier will give you strength to ignore negative people and give you more patience to help them in their troubles too.

Be kind to yourself and congratulate yourself for making a brave decision

endlesspatience

Hope it's been going well. I trust you have had the opportunity to share your situation with the friend with whom you are staying. A couple of observations about going "cold turkey" in terms of stopping after a heavy session. Even a few days after not drinking, you may experience shaking, involuntary movements and possibly other physical side effects like insomnia, lack of appetite and nausea in the morning. Don't panic if these happen. It's simply the body's way of expelling the poison that has built up over a long period. If you can remain really sober for that full week, physically you will feel so much better. The rest of the recovery process involves mental and spiritual change which you will be able to read a lot more about on this forum. We're happy you found us and are pleased you are on the journey.

least

to the SR family! This is a great place for support and good info on healthy living.

Jaffapoppy

Hi everyone, I have had one week of not drinking and have been taking antabuse. It has been fine and it has been a relief not to drink. During that time, I stayed with a non-drinking supportive friend. Today I am back with my husband who has clinical depression and is switching anit-depressants and he has been drinking the whole time I have been away. He is in self destruct mode ie ready to quit his job, our relationship, been nasty to people in his yoga class and quit that. I have come home with a few ground rules in place. One of them is that we do not drink at home. (He suggested this ground rule as I think he knows drinking is a problem for him too.)He does not know that I have not been drinking while I was away nor does he know I have been taking antabuse. If he did I suspect he would say I am weak willed for taking antabuse. The thing is I cannot deal with his depressive rants, his constant threats of quitting his job, or his or my excessive drinking on my own. He thinks that because I am a "positive person" I can cope with anything. I am only human. One night while I was staying away I had to drop in to get some clothes and he has stayed at home all day not gone to work and drank from dawn to dusk. I come home today and he says he didnt quit his job and he is going to work harder to drown out his problems, but previously he blamed work on his problems and drinking......... I cannot figure it all out to be honest. The thing I am glad about is that I dont have the worry at 6pm of thinking will I drink to cope with this or wont I will I wont I will I wont I? The decision is made I simply cannot, and in that space I have been finding other things to do. I am scared of his stress though....... I hope the week is not too rocky. Jaffapoppy