The test.... A three day long party
 

A little nervous. Tomorrow we leave for the "beach house" where there will be a 3-day 4th of July party with 20+ ppl in the house, motor home, camper & misc. tents.

This has always been the "party weekend". We do alot of fishing, tubing, skiing, barn fires with smores, pig roast (sucker is in my tub right now..ewww) and tons of drinking. I have been sober for 54 days now. Not so hard for I havent been around any booze, and my problem is I go months without drinking then go on my binge.

BUT...... this is a party, I have always drank. I feel strong because as of right now I have no desire to drink. Im afraid of how I will feel with everyone around me drinking. I do feel good. I feel like I can do it. But I can't say that im not worried either. Any advice?

I'd say be on your guard..it's so easy when you are having fun, and everyone else is drinking to pick up......have your favourite non alcoholic beverage with you...helped me in the early days of sobriety!!
Best of luck!! :)

Hi time4me

I would never put myself in a three day long party situation at a beach house at 52 days...sounds more like an ordeal to me than a test - but whats done is done.

My only advice is to let people know, loud and often, that you're not drinking.

I understand you might not want to tell everybody why but try at least to find one 'sober buddy' if you can & stick to them.

Focus on the fishing, tubing, skiing, barn fires with smores, and pig roast - play with the kids...anything but drinking.

Let us know how you get on :)
D

To be very honest. It sounds like a recipe to start drinking again. I know you want to have fun with your friends but hanging with drinkers is not a good idea at such an early stage. Is anyone there a non-drinker? To have long term sobriety sometimes we need to change the group of people we socialize with.

I would not have been able to get through that.

I wish you well!

How nice it would be to not go, but we are meeting up with family also. This is the only time that we see certain family. There will be 20 ppl sleeping, but over 50 for the party. They all know I am not drinking. Im scared of my own self control.

I am already planning things to do with my 9 year old that will take me away from the partying, and she is excited. This puts me at ease.... a little.

Remember that the term "drink" also goes for soda, tea, water etc....

You've said you've always drank at parties. This may sound over-simplified, but try not drinking for once at this party just to see if you enjoy the experience more.

I've been around drinkers socially lately and my stock answer for why I'm not drinking is that I can't drink due to complications with medication I'm on (which is a white lie but I don't care right now). I'm still not ready yet to say the reason I'm not drinking is because I'm a recovering alcoholic.

I usually tell them I am allergic to alcohol, when I drink it I break out in handcuffs....

Best of luck to you!

Hey,

I was kind of in the same position as you at not even 2 months sober.

It was a work party-thing (3 days), what helped me a lot is that I didn't want to have to come back here saying I had been drinking! So that was a huge motivation.
I also put myself in an observer position, looking at others and what alcohol does to them, pretty sad a lot of the time.
When I got tired, I just disappeared and went to sleep, before I would have picked up a drink to keep going.

Good luck to you!

That's pretty funny, it made me snicker. I may use it... =)

What I did back then with less than 2 months?

Stayed away.

And, it turns out, there really is no attraction for me there, I have no business hanging out at drinking events. And I still don't, to this day.

Obviously can't avoid social occasions where people consume alcohol, it is a part of the fabric of society, 60% of the adult population being classified as drinkers, but there is a very important difference between drinking events and social occasions that involve people drinking.

Even newly sober I was able to distinguish between the two.

Good luck.

I had to face 2 huge gatherings within 2 months of my sobriety. It was NOT fun. Half way through both I was so sick of drunks! Seriously. It was an eye opening experience to see how stupid drunks act!

Things I did:

I made myself DD. Hauled people from gatherings to hotels.

Told people I wasn't drinking. Can't remember what I told them, but they knew.

Found a computer and got on SR.

I made sure my husband was 100% behind me...nobody was going to 'talk me into' drinking.....most of all myself.

I made sure that I was truly going for the 'right' reason...because I had family and business obligations. I wasn't going to start drinking again.

It is hard. But, I do know this. It made me stronger. I really watched how people acted. Learned a lot. In some ways, I think it made my sobriety stronger. If I can get through that...I have a chance at lifetime sobriety.

Today, if there is even an ounce of you that says 'well, maybe one'....I would stay home. 54 days is too much to simply throw away. Good luck to you....let us know how it went.

I think the question may be "is my sobriety more important than a party?" I'm not knocking you, but I know that back in my early days I would not be partaking in that kind of thing. I bet it's tons of fun, it sure sounds like it.

I have almost three years now and only NOW do I feel that I can be around situations like that, but I still don't think I'd do it for three days straight. I'd either go for a day, or still just not go at all.

A little saying I've heard within the recovery community, "if you're hanging out in a barber shop, eventually you're going to get a haircut." Three days of that would be too much for me. :(

If you absolutely must be there, and you find yourself saturated in a pressuring or tempting environment, please remember the tactic of "playing the tape all the way through".

Much of my belief system, even with it's varied and sometimes conflicting roots, puts an emphasis on living in the moment. Absolutely continue to live in the moment, but this is one of the few times that I will advise that you also live in tomorrow. Future Time4me2change will be so happy that present Time4me2change stayed sober.... so, don't forget to think about your future self and how what you do now shapes them. Keep 'em happy, healthy, and sober! That's a really good goal to have and work toward.... and maybe having a solid goal like that will be of aid should you feel the temptation - depends on what motivates you I suppose ;)

I won't say good luck, but I will say take care :) You're in control of you Time, don't forget it!

Blessed be,
WW

Just focus on what's best for you. I'm 101 days without the booze, and I've been around it nearly every single day of that time. I'm a bartender/server, so not only do I see alcohol all day, I physically handle it, spill it on myself, smell it...but don't drink it. And sometimes it helps for me to see people drink and make fools of themselves, 'cause I think to myself, "Man, I'm glad I'm not like that anymore."

This may sound too simplistic, but I like to keep things as simple as possible. Alcohol + Me = Bad Things. Notice, that equation contains "Me," not "Everyone." Alcohol doesn't affect everyone the same way. The way I look at it, if I were diabetic, I could still be around people eating candy and drinking sodas, but it's not a good idea for me to indulge. Same way I feel about my alcoholism.

I have to put my recovery first every day and a party of any kind in early days would have been to much

I did it!!!! I drank so much soda, water & everything in between, but not a drop of booze. I actually had a good time!! I just kept it in my mind that I want to be sober, and I was. Actually no plans I made with my daughter panned out! She dished me as soon as she saw all her cousins, and they were in the pool the whole three days!!

Nobody was a drunk, all just drinking socially, but I had the brains to keep a bottle of water in my hand the whole time!!

Thank you everyone!!!!