finally had a day where being sober felt better than being under the influence
 

This may be a stupid sounding post to people who have a significant amount of sober time in already. Since working on getting sober every sober day I've had I've felt like a "dry drunk." Sober, but missing the comforting/familiar "under the influence" feeling. I've stopped drinking because I have to (health) and not because I want to.

I've been mourning the loss of the taste of beer. The reward of going to the liquor store right after work. How charming I could be when I medicated myself with the proper amount of booze during a social gathering. The "glow" I would get after a couple of drinks (confidence).

For the first time for me ever, today was better than my most euphoric drinking day. I don't know if my brain was releasing extra endorphins or what. It was Canada Day here and I hosted a bbq for a bunch of our friends. For the first time in what seems like forever, I was comfortable in my own skin and didn't crave booze. I was actually happy. I enjoyed the fireworks at the end of tonight with my g/f. The previous x10 years I'd be in bed right now totally polluted with a pillow over my head waiting for the damn fireworks to stop and wondering why all the idiot people in this world were so enamored with fireworks.

This is such an unfocused post of mine but I am still in such disbelief that I had a happy day sober. For anyone struggling with alcoholism here who drinks because they think life & people are a bore and drinking simply feels better I empathize with you because that was generally how I've felt in what seems like forever.

It apparently is possible to feel really happy while sober. This message from a guy who has drank morning, noon, and night for years and thought that way of feeling was as good as it would get in this life.

Really great, merc. You're inspiring me as we here in the US enter July 4th, which has always been a big drinking day (or weekend, or week, or month, you get the picture) for me. This week is my tenth week of sobriety and I want next week at this time to be my 11th of same. Happy Canada Day, and let's keep this good sober feeling going!

good for you merc!

and with over seven years,

i still remember the day you talk about,

like it was yesterday

Good Job Merc
 

I am just over 1 month completely clean and I have been struggling, your post helped alot and has given me motiviation to keep going. I had a much better time after I quit drinking but was still using other drugs, so now I am really on my own. Looking forward to having a day like you did yesterday and Happy Canada Day! :c011:

I get you Merc! I too just made it thru Canada Day completely sober! Ive only been sober for 10 days, but I am so happy I made it thru the holiday without drinking. I purposely avoided all social functions and stayed home. That was so odd, cuz Canada Day is huge for boozing and I never dissapointed at BBQ's past. The negative thing about quitting booze is that my social life will no longer exist...gets lonely.

Thank you fo your post :c011: No matter how much soberity anyof us have under our belts, its people like you who are starting out remind us where we come from. Isint the lightbulb moment fantastic when we realise there is a possibilty of live without booze!!!! Just getting a day at a time for me is brillant. You have given me more gratitude today & i thank you for that. Enjoy Soberity, a new life is yours for the taking!!!!!

Thanks Merc. Great post! I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I'm going to see fireworks Sunday night too and I've been envisioning it because normally I'd be drinking and this year I won't be. Also, going to a BBQ tomorrow where normally I probably would be drinking. I have the same kind of boredom/anxiety with social situations where drinking kind of excuses me from making an effort and I think that is a part of why I do it. (Not the only reason, though, cuz I also drink alone.) Anyway, this year at the BBQ I will be making an effort. And guess what? I have a feeling that it might be more rewarding than being half drunk and half there.

I also think the thing about drinking is that it always leads to wanting more. Sometimes even while I'm on one drink, I'm thinking about the next one (often, actually). It creates anxiety rather than relieving it. I used to do coke (for about a year–stopped on my own because I didn't really like it) and the thing I didn't like about it was that it always kind of ruined my night. I'd do a line and then they entire night no matter what was happening around me, a large part of my focus and attention would be on getting to the bathroom or wherever to do more. That's honestly not that fun. So now I feel the drinking has become a bit like that.

Thank you thank you thank you, Mercurial. I can sometimes be a bit of a misanthrope too, so your honesty is refreshing. And as others have said your Canada Day experience is helpful for your southern cousins gearing up for the Fourth of July. It was always one of my favorite holidays, partly because of it being socially acceptable to drink during the day on it . . but this year I'm focusing on the fireworks! (Last year on the fourth I ended up swimming naked with strangers and breaking stuff by accident blackout drunk -- the details are so ridiculous I still have to laugh, as horrible as it was and as seriously as I take my problem.)

Here's to celebrating the summer holidays sober!:sparkler

I don't think it sounded stupid one bit. I thought it sounded Awesome!

A great post Merc - thanks :)
Like Rusty, I remember my first day i felt like that too...:scoregood!

D

Congratulations. Now you know it is possible, which is a huge milestone.
Don't forget this day and the lesson learned.

Merc - I am so happy for you. You will find that you can enjoy all the old activities (and some new ones) without the drink.

Developing confidence - without a drink - is real personal growth.

This was a great post.

Oh my gosh, you hit it right on the button. I felt the exact same way about alcohol. You put it into words so well.

I'm glad you were able to enjoy July 1st the way most should!

Congrats!

That is so good to hear, merc :) I'm glad you had an enjoyable celebration surrounded by friends, too.