Class of July 2010
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 6
I am on day 2 and feeling oh so much better than yesterday! I really did myself in on Saturday night and on through the early Sunday morning hours and just do not want to do that ever again. The shame, anxiety and humiliation are emotionally unbearable. I am a binge drinker. I have the propensity to act out with very inappropriate behavior when I drink. I do not want to risk my marriage, I am not the mother and wife that I want to be with alcohol in the picture.
When will I learn? I have attempted to quit in the past but this last time I proved to myself that I am playing with fire.
Glad to have found this site. I hope to make some friends and look forward to a sober life and investing in my recovery. I know I will have to stick close because the necessity of quitting drinking can fade over time. I do not want another "time".
When will I learn? I have attempted to quit in the past but this last time I proved to myself that I am playing with fire.
Glad to have found this site. I hope to make some friends and look forward to a sober life and investing in my recovery. I know I will have to stick close because the necessity of quitting drinking can fade over time. I do not want another "time".
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 275
Today is 2 weeks for me, 2 long and trying weeks. I'm going through the routine of seeing all of the damage I've caused and doing the dreadful "If I had just...maybe if I...well I shoud have.." That will pass though and I know if I drink to chase it away these 2 weeks of hard work will be down the drain.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 6
Already having those thoughts that maybe I overexaggerated my problem. Well, no drinking for me today. I can do that 
If I think too far ahead I get discouraged and if I think back I get depressed so eyes forward and just focus on today.
If I think too far ahead I get discouraged and if I think back I get depressed so eyes forward and just focus on today.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by TexasNative 
Today is 2 weeks for me, 2 long and trying weeks. I'm going through the routine of seeing all of the damage I've caused and doing the dreadful "If I had just...maybe if I...well I shoud have.." That will pass though and I know if I drink to chase it away these 2 weeks of hard work will be down the drain.
Originally Posted by parsley
Two weeks today for me as well. Texas, I always like reading what you have to say since we are on the same day. You motivate me to keep going!
Originally Posted by Jeb18
Today is 15 days for me. I've been going to meetings, got a sponsor and been reading the beginning pages of the big book.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 89
July 5, 2010 and counting!!!! Hardest 16 days I can remember..so many ups and downs. Still wondering if I will ever really contemplate just one or two glasses of wine or if my drinking days are truly over. Physically can't remember when I have felt better...mentally haven't felt this rocky since I went thru post partem depression....So glad I found this forum...such a pleasure to read and post!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 34
It's been rough for me as well. A lot of emotional ups and downs. Today I'm taking it minute by minute and trying to be grateful that I'm learning new coping methods for stress and how to live in the moment.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hello all! I have been lurking for awhile and joined today. Today is day 10 for me, probably the longest I have gone without alcohol in 12 or so years.
I can relate a lot to what limbo said. I have at least hidden things enough that no one has ever said anything to me. Part of what has helped me to stop this time was the realisation that I really wanted someone to say something...and I finally realized that was a stupid reason to kill myself...which is essentially what drinking is, a slow suicide. There are better ways to get attention!
Secretstruggle, I am sending positive thoughts your way:-)
Californiapoppy, the couple of times I have thought about drinkin in the past ten days, I remember what it feels like to drink, and not the romanticized hollywood version, but the nasty burning swallow, the bloated stomach, the throwing up, it works for me so far:-)
I can relate a lot to what limbo said. I have at least hidden things enough that no one has ever said anything to me. Part of what has helped me to stop this time was the realisation that I really wanted someone to say something...and I finally realized that was a stupid reason to kill myself...which is essentially what drinking is, a slow suicide. There are better ways to get attention!
Secretstruggle, I am sending positive thoughts your way:-)
Californiapoppy, the couple of times I have thought about drinkin in the past ten days, I remember what it feels like to drink, and not the romanticized hollywood version, but the nasty burning swallow, the bloated stomach, the throwing up, it works for me so far:-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
P.S. after one week sober I started a detox program...anyone else do this? I am doin it in part because while I feel great I am still having digestive problems and want to give my body a little extra help.
bona fido dog-lover
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Welcome to the new July members and congrats and hugs on deciding to get clean and sober this month. It's tough at first but is so worth the effort. And for those fighting cravings, it does get better and they do go away. I rarely get them now at seven months. So hang in there, one day at a time. 
It's tough at first but is so worth the effort. And for those fighting cravings, it does get better and they do go away. I rarely get them now at seven months. So hang in there, one day at a time. 
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
It's day 18 for me, so that makes it over one half a month
That sneaky dopamine receptor laden brain stem of mine is still conspiring with my limbic system to make my cerebral cortex disregard the mountain of life wrecking negative consequences, just to get that alcoholic glow one more time.
There's no way I'm going to let some reptilian hand-me-down grey matter lead the rest of my brain around by the nose! Why would I listen to one part of my body that's willing to slowly kill the rest of me, and itself, to get its buzz?
In the Limbic vs Logic battle, my monies all in with logic
Murray
That sneaky dopamine receptor laden brain stem of mine is still conspiring with my limbic system to make my cerebral cortex disregard the mountain of life wrecking negative consequences, just to get that alcoholic glow one more time.
There's no way I'm going to let some reptilian hand-me-down grey matter lead the rest of my brain around by the nose! Why would I listen to one part of my body that's willing to slowly kill the rest of me, and itself, to get its buzz?
In the Limbic vs Logic battle, my monies all in with logic
Murray
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