Is AA the only way?
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,828
Originally Posted by Boleo 
I know it sounds depressing but I have never meet anyone who stayed sober without some kind of a program.
Seriously, I doubt I'm the only one who's done it without a formal program.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
For me, I needed a design for living. I didn't know it at the time...I thought I was getting along just fine, but I was living a life based on denial, lies, and selfishness.
AA provided me with a healthy design for living and a great fellowship with others just like me. The effort I put in and the results I get are unique to me.
I'm sure I could do it differently, but I've found a way that works for me. I've found a way that also allows me to give back, to help face to face, another struggling alcoholic as I was helped. What a beautiful program!
AA provided me with a healthy design for living and a great fellowship with others just like me. The effort I put in and the results I get are unique to me.
I'm sure I could do it differently, but I've found a way that works for me. I've found a way that also allows me to give back, to help face to face, another struggling alcoholic as I was helped. What a beautiful program!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 194
All I can say is I went in an out of AA since 1993. And everytime they accepted me back when I couldn't stand myself. Now I've been clean since 2/18/08 and made lots of friends. In my short time clean I have seen people who have quit drinking for years went back out and came back in. Hey, if you are lucky enough to have had some sobriety and the seed was planted, and you went back out and are still inhaling and exhaling, you always have another shot at recovery in AA or anywhere you choose. And you will always be accepted. AA is based on suggestions, not rules. I found that the people who have relapsed and come back usually are the ones who know the true meaning of being humble, surrendering and acceptance.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
AA can't possibly be the only way, because there isn't 1 way to "do" AA. My program is different than the next guy's, and his program may vary greatly from the woman across the room. Some people in AA will tell you that there is only 1 way to work the program, and if you don't do it that way you're doomed. I'm the type of person that doesn't think there's only 1 way to do nearly anything. What works for me might not work for you. I can tell you what's worked for me and how it's helped me in my life, but some things are only applicable to the individual.
Part of the noon meeting I went to today was spent discussing how people make themselves feel better, or important, by looking down upon others. I think for some people in AA (or at your job, or school, or wherever), they like to pump themselves up by believing that they are correct in their manner of doing things, and anyone who does it differently is at best wrong and at worst doomed. I don't subscribe to that line of thinking, and I frankly don't care too much for it.
Part of the noon meeting I went to today was spent discussing how people make themselves feel better, or important, by looking down upon others. I think for some people in AA (or at your job, or school, or wherever), they like to pump themselves up by believing that they are correct in their manner of doing things, and anyone who does it differently is at best wrong and at worst doomed. I don't subscribe to that line of thinking, and I frankly don't care too much for it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 33
have you done the self discovery of are you physically addicted or conditioned abuser?
if.. you are in the physical addicted camp where use of mouthwash will trigger you or an NA beer- yeah, program is in your best interest maybe
if you can swear off the booze and stay away from it w/o relapse -maybe not
why do you let yourself relapse? as you reach for the 1st relapse beverage why is there not a larger NO!!!! between your ears than the motivation to consume?
bill w liked lsd in his later yrs - a hallucinogen was what opened his eyes to sobriety in the hospital - so.... bill w was a no booze guy but not a no use of anything guy ..
can you smoke weed without abuse?
if you abuse alcohol consistently for a long period of your life and it doesn't make your life better???- why would you relapse?,haven't ya learned it is not for you? ?? what will it take for you to learn? sickness or death? there comes a day of reckoning for everyone.. what you do with your epiphany is up to you imho
if.. you are in the physical addicted camp where use of mouthwash will trigger you or an NA beer- yeah, program is in your best interest maybe
if you can swear off the booze and stay away from it w/o relapse -maybe not
why do you let yourself relapse? as you reach for the 1st relapse beverage why is there not a larger NO!!!! between your ears than the motivation to consume?
bill w liked lsd in his later yrs - a hallucinogen was what opened his eyes to sobriety in the hospital - so.... bill w was a no booze guy but not a no use of anything guy ..
can you smoke weed without abuse?
if you abuse alcohol consistently for a long period of your life and it doesn't make your life better???- why would you relapse?,haven't ya learned it is not for you? ?? what will it take for you to learn? sickness or death? there comes a day of reckoning for everyone.. what you do with your epiphany is up to you imho
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,364
Hi Wharf Rat
Welcome back...
of course AA is not the only way - but is that really the issue here?
Pride and shame kept me in my addiction and nearly killed me.
It took me 15 years to 'get it'. I can't count how many relapses that would be. It happens to everyone and it's a sign we need help, Wharf Rat.
Go back to AA, or don't...but do something, man.
D
Welcome back...
of course AA is not the only way - but is that really the issue here?
its just that I feel like such a failure relapse after relapse. I can't stand the thought of calling a sponsor every day and going to meetings.
It took me 15 years to 'get it'. I can't count how many relapses that would be. It happens to everyone and it's a sign we need help, Wharf Rat.
Go back to AA, or don't...but do something, man.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by Lithobid
Little Fish - "You don't have to have a sponsor in AA, nor do you have to report your relapses. The primary goal is to help anyone who wants to stop drinking."
- dosen't this defeat the purpose of the chip system for the person participating. I know I relapsed in the past and didn't say anything at first, but it's about open honesty in your relapse, and helping others with that information? How can not reporting a relapse to the group help others not drink?
- dosen't this defeat the purpose of the chip system for the person participating. I know I relapsed in the past and didn't say anything at first, but it's about open honesty in your relapse, and helping others with that information? How can not reporting a relapse to the group help others not drink?
In terms of reporting your relapses, I did that for a much more selfish reason - to help me. Having said that, there is only one requirement for membership - a desire to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 33
"its just that I feel like such a failure relapse after relapse. I can't stand the thought of calling a sponsor every day and going to meetings. "
the more ya put into life, the more you get out of it
say ya don't go to the meeting everyday- is there something positive you could alternate?
the sponsor thing doesnt work for you? ok? problem with authority? former sponsor was rude? maybe ya didn't connect with them- well,you don't have to believe in the sponsor or use a sponsor if ya can get by without that resource
the more ya put into life, the more you get out of it
say ya don't go to the meeting everyday- is there something positive you could alternate?
the sponsor thing doesnt work for you? ok? problem with authority? former sponsor was rude? maybe ya didn't connect with them- well,you don't have to believe in the sponsor or use a sponsor if ya can get by without that resource
Last edited by Dee74; 06-29-2010 at 09:07 PM. Reason: clarity
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
This is just my opinion/assumption but I'm not aware of any other "program" outside AA where you can find as many people with LONG term sobriety.....and happy sobriety. It's not the only way but it, to me, looks like the best way to get the best results.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome back WR.....
We have many SR members who have long term sobriety
and living sucessfull full filled lives without a formal program.
There is no perfect one way to find your recovery
I too returned to drinking....many times...after I started
AA. I understand you don't want to return....I was
embarrassed each time I came back.
Not once was I made to feel unwelcomed and I
always returned to my orginal home group.
Took me 4 years to earn a 1 year medallion!
When I began my formal AA Steps....I felt a shift in
perception....from shakey sobriety into solid recovery....
I've not had another drink.
I have never had a formal sonsor...don't believe in the monthly
chip deal....never called anyone daily...don't do chants
or pump arms either.
What I do......stay connected to God and my AA group.
I use the Steps daily ...I live in harmony with the
world.
AA meetings? I usually do 3 or 4 a week to share
the joy of my recovery.
I don't care if anyone uses AA or not. I plan to continue.
It's an awesome adventure.....
DOS....4-25-89 ... with gratitude
We have many SR members who have long term sobriety
and living sucessfull full filled lives without a formal program.
There is no perfect one way to find your recovery
I too returned to drinking....many times...after I started
AA. I understand you don't want to return....I was
embarrassed each time I came back.
Not once was I made to feel unwelcomed and I
always returned to my orginal home group.
Took me 4 years to earn a 1 year medallion!
When I began my formal AA Steps....I felt a shift in
perception....from shakey sobriety into solid recovery....
I've not had another drink.
I have never had a formal sonsor...don't believe in the monthly
chip deal....never called anyone daily...don't do chants
or pump arms either.
What I do......stay connected to God and my AA group.
I use the Steps daily ...I live in harmony with the
world.
AA meetings? I usually do 3 or 4 a week to share
the joy of my recovery.
I don't care if anyone uses AA or not. I plan to continue.
It's an awesome adventure.....
DOS....4-25-89 ... with gratitude
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
We Are Ourselves
Sobriety is that essential something in our own lives that is lived daily. Its not just any particular place, fellowship, or program, or online site. And its not only found in some special book, philosphy or slogan. These things are all good tangible supports to a sobriety and to a spiritual understanding of living our lives successfully without alcohol and drugs.
There is no "this only" de facto way. There never will be and that is good for all of us. Although we all share common things in alcoholism and sobriety, we all live through different days in our different lives requiring different choices.
None of us have to be alone, really, except by choice, and that is the single most essential common bond we all share friend and foe alike, we all have choices. Receiving the gifts of sobriety is not a "do this or do that" kinda thing at the end of the day. Its more a "do the something" that accepts the offers of sobriety that is openly given for each persons particular life.
We all have chances at receiving the gifts. We all have those moments that we know being sober and living free is the only way to live any life we may ever choose. Alcoholism is a fatal illness and requires a remedy that not only stops the drinking but also gives us back our lives -- and for some of us -- gives us a life that we never ever really had before: a life of love.
warmly,
Robby
There is no "this only" de facto way. There never will be and that is good for all of us. Although we all share common things in alcoholism and sobriety, we all live through different days in our different lives requiring different choices.
None of us have to be alone, really, except by choice, and that is the single most essential common bond we all share friend and foe alike, we all have choices. Receiving the gifts of sobriety is not a "do this or do that" kinda thing at the end of the day. Its more a "do the something" that accepts the offers of sobriety that is openly given for each persons particular life.
We all have chances at receiving the gifts. We all have those moments that we know being sober and living free is the only way to live any life we may ever choose. Alcoholism is a fatal illness and requires a remedy that not only stops the drinking but also gives us back our lives -- and for some of us -- gives us a life that we never ever really had before: a life of love.
warmly,
Robby
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,364
I've removed some posts that really had nothing to do with the OP, and some replies to them. As I believe Wharf Rat has has some resolution with this thread, we'll leave it there.
I'd like to remind everyone that we're a big community here, all ages, all walks of life, all recovery programmes 'creeds' .....it's that coexistence, side by side, that makes this place great.
Denigrating someone elses recovery programme is not acceptable here, no matter what that programme is.
I'd like to remind everyone that we're a big community here, all ages, all walks of life, all recovery programmes 'creeds' .....it's that coexistence, side by side, that makes this place great.
Denigrating someone elses recovery programme is not acceptable here, no matter what that programme is.
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