Day 1 - Fears
 

The end of day one is nearing, and although I have thus far denied the drink it's power I am still fearful.

Right now for example I am fearing having to sleep tonight. I am usually heavily sedated with alcohol when I go to bed. I can't remember the last time I had to go to sleep without poison in my system. I am terrified that I will simply toss and turn, and sleep will elude me. It will simply drive me mad. Is there anything that will help with difficulty regarding sleep?


Another fear of mine is that of boredom. I'm not necessarily scared of being bored, I am actually scared that everyone else will see me as boring. Without the drink I tend to be very silent. I keep to myself a lot. When I first started out drinking it was appealing to me because when I drank I felt as though everyone liked me. What if now, no one will like me? What if the world views me as being dull?

I suppose I am just ranting. Did anyone else ever fear these things? Did it turn out that your fears came true? Or were you simply driving yourself mad with these fears?

Oh, so confused.

That's all quite normal Dinamic... Same stuff hit me too. I went the AA route and the meetings/program kept me busy at first. I also painted 4 bedrooms in my house, tore another room down to the studs and remodeled it, as well as a bunch of other jobs I'd been putting off for toooooo long.

Staying in contact with others in recovery is vital though. That stuff above helps but not nearly as much as hangin' out with someone who's been where you are, someone in the same boat themselves or someone with less time than you who's considering making the same changes you've decided to. I can't overstate the importance of working with other alcoholics. It's probably the most important thing you can do.



I dig the shar pei! Dogs rule. :)

If you end up tossing and turning tonight (I didn't sleep at all for my first 40+ hours of sobriety), please come here and browse the boards, post, or go to chat. Depending on your timezone, I might even be back here myself and would be happy to chat it up with your restless mind, as I have well been there before. And if I'm not here - others will be. They'll offer sympathetic ears to the troubled - whether it be from sleeplessness, boredom, or both :)

Blessed be!
WW

Fear is probably our greatest enemy Dinamic - what if I don't sleep, what if I can't do this, what if my life changes and I hate it, what if I've hurt myself with my drinking...

Relax. There's thousands of people here who have done it - you're not alone.

Try not to give room to the fears - just stay focused on the fact you're unquestionably doing the right thing by giving up. Have faith in that :)

Welcome to SR!
D

Hey, im on day 1 also. and i have the SAME fears as you, except people viewing me as boring.. im more bored myself.. lonely.. afraid of sleep. i have insomnia so its real hard.. whenever i try to quit i dont go to sleep till three am about.. and wake up early. but day 1, not sure what the futures gonna be, just know i need a break at least.

Yes, it's normal to have feelings of fear in early recovery. There are big changes going on in your life and it will take some time to get used to dealing with life without alcohol.

You might find that melatonin would help you to sleep. It doesn't work for me, but some people find success with it. Insomnia is a very common problem in early recovery, so hopefully, in time your sleeping habits will settle down.

I guess I have those fears..., but in the end the fear of what alcohol was doing to me and my health became stronger.

I guess we need to find new ways to make life fun. It will probably be a while until I can be comfortable around people who drink though. Maybe being around the kind of social activities where people drink heavily is over for me. Only time will tell what I can handle, but sobriety comes first now.

Good luck and stick around!

i think easing back into social life is a good idea for the early days/weeks/months of sobriety. focus on taking walks, going to lunch, coffee rather than meeting at a bar. its good to have some friends who are either completely sober or are just not big drinkers. there are some people who wont bat an eye if you suggest getting a cup of tea or not having wine with dinner. i think those are good people to spend time with in the beginning. i dont know if youre doing any kind of group like aa or smart recovery but that will put you in touch with other sober people.

as for sleeping, i took melatonin last night and slept a very solid 7 hours. im on day 3 now and often have insomnia or wake up at two, three, four in the morning and cant get back to sleep. i took 3 mg of controlled release. recommended!

also, i think part of the feeling of fear is a symptom of withdrawal. the anxiety you initially have when you stop drinking magnifies everything.

Well, my fear of sleeping was unfounded really. I slept quite well through the night. I only woke up once at 4 in the morning. I was able to get back to sleep quite easily. I've always been a heavy sleeper, I just thought it would be harder now.
When first falling asleep however, I had this feeling as though I was falling. I would start to drift off and awake quickly - scared almost. That was alittle scary being as I was so jittery. I wasn't sure that it was normal. Maybe it isn't.

Anyhow, thank you all for your help. Day one is over now, and it's time to see what day two brings. I'm more excited than scared today. I do work today however, and come home at 9:00. Usually I would drink a few, but tonight I'll shower, read, ANYTHING to make me sleepy and just end the day.

Wish me luck, and all the best to you as well!
Dianna

That's great, Dianna! I'm glad you slept well and seem to be getting through withdrawals pretty easily. Yea! Even without going through major symptoms, it will take some time for your body/brain to adjust, so just keep hanging in there. But way to go on getting through Day 1.:scoregood

That's great that you were able to sleep. I am on day 2 (again), Id i have found that I am having night sweats.

Great job on getting thru the day.