ironlung

Back to day 1 again. I did really good until about day 14, then went on vacation and lost it for a 5 day binge I've yet embarressed myself and let my family and freinds down once again. I don't think they really get the seriousness of this disease, I mean, I've listed everything alcoholism has done to me including trying to take my life. Can't get much worse than that, and I reminded myself daily that I can't pick up ever again, reading these messages/reminders daily and trying to stay focused. Not that I need my family and freinds to fully understand but the whole thing is very depressing. I've been going to counseling which I thought helped and have gone to some AA meetings and have been reading on this site for a couple months now which has been helpful as well.

I know people on this site are mostly avocates of AA, but I'd like to hear from someone who has kicked this that didn't involve AA as a replacement to the addiction, I would greatly appreciate it. Trying to keep my spirits up, but this has really put a major a** beating on me. God Bless and thanks for everyones help.

FBL

I've been in recovery for just over a year. I did it without any formal program. I did find it helpful to confide in a few family members and a couple of very close friends, they've held me accountable. And, of course, lots of visits here to SR to help keep me focused.

ironlung

Formerbeerlover, thank you for your response. Not sure how bad your addiction became, I've been practicing for over 20 years now, recently the past 5 have become progressively worse where I now know I can't control it. I have a Son now which is bringing a different perspective on life, as well as divorced 2 years ago in large part to alcohol... this is bringing up past issues as well, but know I need to change and need help.

Anna

Hi,

People on this board use a variety of recovery methods.

I do not use AA myself, and I've been sober for many years now.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter if your friends and family understand the seriousness of your situation. It's very hard for others, to really get how difficult this is for us and how serious it is. Just continue to focus on your recovery.

What I would ask you is, what other changes did you make in your life besides stopping drinking? Stopping drinking is the beginning and that's when the hard work begins. Counselling is a good thing and hopefully it will help you. One thing I found is that I could not be around people who were drinking at all, for a very long time. I simply couldn't.

The main thing is that you had 14 sober days and you can do it again and continue beyond that.

For me, balance is the key. I exercise every day, I spend quiet time with myself, and I try to listen to my soul and stay on track. And, I spend time here at SR every day and would be lost without it.

sugarfiend

I have been sober 2 years, as of June 7th, and did it with no AA. I did go to counseling to get me on the path to recovery, but never joined a group. I consider my not drinking a life choice - it's not just a temporary change of behavior (like what a lot of people consider 'diets'. I purposefully choose every day to not drink - this choice empowers me just as much as picking up the bottle did, but in a different way. My sidekicks in keeping me sober are exercise, Christian rock and prayer. Without them, I don't know where I would be.

I think it is important to own my problem - I do not want to rely on others to keep me accountable. It has been helpful to find someone I can bounce feelings off of and just practice talking about it - it's hard. 2 years ago I couldn't even whisper anything about it I was so ashamed. Keep your head up and keep on reading and posting.

ironlung

Hi Anna,

Thank you so much. I have been doing many of the same things as you, I've read a boatload of books on this which includes "How to quit drinking without AA" by Jerry Dorsman who puts a strong emphasis on diet and physical aspect of alcoholism and how to control it. This has helped me the most and helped me quit for 6 months a couple years ago. Lot of scare in it which I see coming true now for me. I don't eat sugar pretty much and am strong on diet (except when I drink of course). I believe in this whoheartedly and have stuck to this and major exercise regimans, but think my problem is mostly habit and mental from my past. Changes... tried a lot of things, gym at a routine time everyday where I used to drink, new hobbies like mountain biking, taking my son to some social activity, and more. My problem is when I quit, I feel better and better each day, then my messed up addicted brain forgets about it.. no matter how much I try to keep it in mind.

Thanks for sharing. IL P.S. - I recently got a cat too

Anna

Yes, pets are awesome in helping us through recovery!

It sounds like you're doing a lot of good things in your life.

I think if you can recognize the 'addict voice' for what it is, you will be able to hear it, dismiss it and move on. It wants you to fail, you know that. You don't need to listen to it.

ironlung

sugarfiend, that was a big help, thank you. And, yes, I think diet is a huge part of all this, my mental addiction may be way worse than yours but physical may be the key to yours. I appreciate your advice to "own" it and be accountable.

IL

Fandy

i don't use AA, i've never attended a meeting...the only things i know about the groups are what I've read here, and at this point from what I've read, i'm convinced it would not be a good fit for me.

I'm accountable to myself and I want to change my life...things are not perfect, but for the most part i've been successful and sober, less depressed and thinking logically instead of feeling over reactive and panicky. I like the mornings now, i don't feel terrible, I tried to change my routine to include other options besides drinking.

I recently adopted a little dog which I think makes me more responsible, because he needs care and the exercise is good for both of us.

I have a lot of pressures in my life with elderly parent care and a recent break-up, they are not pleasant, but if I was drinking it would be 10X worse.

smacked

Actually there's lots of us in recovery who don't use AA Maybe we're not as loud.. jk jk jk.

Personally I found it helpful to see a counselor who specializes in addiction, and read a few books he recommended. A GOOD counselor with experience that you can trust is key for any type of therapy if you want it to be beneficial. And, the counselor is only as good as the information you provide to him/her..

I don't think anything outside of ME got me sober, nor does it keep me sober. I didn't pursue help until I was DONE, for good.. and used the counseling and 'bibliotherapy' as tools in my recovery box. I love my life in recovery, and I work on it constantly even if it's just in the back of my mind at this point (approaching 2years now).

Dee74

Hi Iron Lung

Lot's of good advice here about counselling and sticking close to SR.

There are other recovery groups besides AA too - check out the recovery programmes sticky in the Alcoholism forum if you're interested.

I don't agree with you that a recovery programme is a replacement for an addiction. I think support is vital.

Having said that, I don't use AA either but I'll tell ya - I never got anywhere until *I* appreciated the seriousness of this disease...

Nutrition and exercise and keeping busy are all good things...but living sober involves one fundamental aspect - not drinking.

Until I accepted that - really accepted it and was prepared to do what ever it took to do anything else but drink - well, I just floundered about for the best part of twenty years.

D