Newbie here. Overcoming the fear of AA?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 8
Newbie here. Overcoming the fear of AA?
First time poster here, but I have been reading these forums for awhile.
I keep trying to work myself up to finally get to an AA meeting but I haven't mustered up the courage to do so. What can I expect from the first meeting? I'm sure I will meet some wonderful people there, but I still have this irrational fear of the unknown of what I'm getting into. I'm on Day 2 of my sobriety, and need as much local support as possible. My wife has been very supportive, but I'm starting to think I need a couple more positive friends to surround myself with to hold myself accountable.
I keep trying to work myself up to finally get to an AA meeting but I haven't mustered up the courage to do so. What can I expect from the first meeting? I'm sure I will meet some wonderful people there, but I still have this irrational fear of the unknown of what I'm getting into. I'm on Day 2 of my sobriety, and need as much local support as possible. My wife has been very supportive, but I'm starting to think I need a couple more positive friends to surround myself with to hold myself accountable.
Hi there .... I am back on day 1 and also contemplating AA tomorrow night. I know exactly what you are feeling - how about I go and give you some feedback??
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Kingsburg, CA
Posts: 9
Well let me tell you. Im a mid-thirties woman that was scared to death to walk into a room of new people all staring at me. My first meeting was intimidating, a bunch of burly looking biker guys with tatoos etc. You'd think that would deter me from going the next day, but it didnt. I went back and then there were a couple of women there that day. Its been 30 days sober now and I've been going to a meeting every day since day one. It's been the best thing for me! I realize no matter what story we have or what our appearances may be or what type of profession we have, we are all the same when it comes to alcohol. I've met some of the most genuine people in that program and I thank God for it everyday. Hope this helps, good luck!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
You've gotten lots of good advice here.
I'm not an AA person, but I know that I was so scared of recovery. I couldn't imagine how I could get through a day, never mind a week, without losing myself in alcohol.
Know that you can do this!
I'm not an AA person, but I know that I was so scared of recovery. I couldn't imagine how I could get through a day, never mind a week, without losing myself in alcohol.
Know that you can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 64
i just got home from my first aa meeting in about a year (went a couple times last time i tried to get sober). my advice is go. its a friendly, low pressure environment for a newbie. if you want to talk, you can. if you feel like listening to other people's stories and speaking is too intimidating, that is ok too. also, if you dont like the vibe of the meeting right off the bat, it is worthwhile to check out other meetings until you find one that makes you feel comfortable.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 78
I had the same fear. Absolutely did! I still get nervous when I go (I've only gone to a few meetings). All I can say is that I was welcomed with open arms - even when I didn't say much beyond introducing myself. AA is full of people who are newcomers as well as old-timers, all of whom will reach out a hand for a shake, hug or to give you their #. Just go!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 8
Thanks for the advice guys. I found a meeting tonight that's fairly close by so I'm going to go check it out and see if I like the vibe.
I figure it's probably a good thing for me to get out of my comfort zone every once in awhile...makes me feel alive. I'll post back if I have any questions or comments about how tonight goes.
I figure it's probably a good thing for me to get out of my comfort zone every once in awhile...makes me feel alive. I'll post back if I have any questions or comments about how tonight goes.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 78
If you don't like the "vibe" - go to a different meeting. The ones I've been to have ALL been different. I haven't found my 'home' group yet...I figure I need to go to a few more to make sure I find one that really feels like 'home'.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Go and enjoy. It's a group of people trying to get and stay sober. I'm now 6 months removed from my last drink and I'm on step 8.
They'll welcome you with open arms. All you have to do is bring an open mind.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
They'll welcome you with open arms. All you have to do is bring an open mind.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 285
Most everyone has fear about going to their first AA meeting. I know I was scared to death. But if I could do it, I am certain you can too.
Everyone at the meeting will have had to go to their first meeting, too, at some point. So they will understand how you are feeling and welcome you with a warmth and compassion that I have never encountered anywhere else in my life.
Congratulations on your decision to try sobriety and your willingness to try AA. If you hate it you don't have to stick around, but you owe it to yourself to try.
Everyone at the meeting will have had to go to their first meeting, too, at some point. So they will understand how you are feeling and welcome you with a warmth and compassion that I have never encountered anywhere else in my life.
Congratulations on your decision to try sobriety and your willingness to try AA. If you hate it you don't have to stick around, but you owe it to yourself to try.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to both of our new members.....
When I went to my first AA meeting ...I asked a friend
to come along too. Yes! I was nervous and unsure
I've been going now for a long time and it's an awesome
adventure.....part of my life. Please do be brave....it's
a grand way to be healthy and joyfilled.
When I went to my first AA meeting ...I asked a friend
to come along too. Yes! I was nervous and unsure
I've been going now for a long time and it's an awesome
adventure.....part of my life. Please do be brave....it's
a grand way to be healthy and joyfilled.
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Welcome!
As others have said, try going to a lot of different types of AA meetings until you find one that you really like. Some people find their "home group" on their very first night, for others, it takes a few tries.
In the end, AA serves many purposes at different times in our sobriety.
Right now, it is just about surrounding yourself with others who understand what you are going through and can give you the support you need to not drink.
Next, it becomes a set of tangible actions that you can do to maintain your sobriety.
In parallel, it becomes a social group that you can lean on if you are feeling down or need people to talk to.
Finally, it becomes a new way of thinking about life. And this makes not drinking pleasurable (vs. what I know you are feeling right now).
When you are ready, you will be ready. AA is not for everyone, but for many of us, it has been an amazing journey .. one that continues.
Just go!
As others have said, try going to a lot of different types of AA meetings until you find one that you really like. Some people find their "home group" on their very first night, for others, it takes a few tries.
In the end, AA serves many purposes at different times in our sobriety.
Right now, it is just about surrounding yourself with others who understand what you are going through and can give you the support you need to not drink.
Next, it becomes a set of tangible actions that you can do to maintain your sobriety.
In parallel, it becomes a social group that you can lean on if you are feeling down or need people to talk to.
Finally, it becomes a new way of thinking about life. And this makes not drinking pleasurable (vs. what I know you are feeling right now).
When you are ready, you will be ready. AA is not for everyone, but for many of us, it has been an amazing journey .. one that continues.
Just go!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 10
Wow what a coincidence. I just went to my first normal meeting this evening. I had been to AA meetings while in inpatient treatment but never a normal one. Going to the inpatient AA meetings sort of prepared me for the basic structure so I kind of knew what to expect. I called the AA central office in my area and asked for advice on which one to attend. They were very friendly and found one close to my location and explained what to expect.
All I can say is wow. It was great. At the beginning of the meeting they asked if there were any newbies present. I raised my hand and they made me feel like a hero even though I've only been sober 16 days. When many of the other people would talk they'd throw in a couple of words of encouragement for me. At one point they were passing around some type of list around the room. When the list came to me somebody quickly grabbed it and passed it to the next guy. I didn't think much of it. After the meeting was over one of the guys came up to me and handed me the list. It had everyone's name and phone numbers on it. He explained that now I can never say I don't have somebody to call when I need help. I'm not sure if that is normal to do at AA meetings for all the newbies but either way I appreciated it.
A couple of the guys also encouraged me to go to a meeting at a different location tomorrow night where one of them is going to be the speaker. The AA International convention is this weekend and I was also encouraged by some of them to attend but they also said no pressure.
I'm still overwhelmed by everything I've been through over the last two and a half weeks so I don't know if I'm up to a convention and I don't know if I'll go to the meeting at the other location tomorrow night because it is across town and because it isn't until later in the evening. Tomorrow I'll probably just go back to the same location I went to today and then maybe try out a couple of other locations later this week or this weekend.
All I can say is wow. It was great. At the beginning of the meeting they asked if there were any newbies present. I raised my hand and they made me feel like a hero even though I've only been sober 16 days. When many of the other people would talk they'd throw in a couple of words of encouragement for me. At one point they were passing around some type of list around the room. When the list came to me somebody quickly grabbed it and passed it to the next guy. I didn't think much of it. After the meeting was over one of the guys came up to me and handed me the list. It had everyone's name and phone numbers on it. He explained that now I can never say I don't have somebody to call when I need help. I'm not sure if that is normal to do at AA meetings for all the newbies but either way I appreciated it.
A couple of the guys also encouraged me to go to a meeting at a different location tomorrow night where one of them is going to be the speaker. The AA International convention is this weekend and I was also encouraged by some of them to attend but they also said no pressure.
I'm still overwhelmed by everything I've been through over the last two and a half weeks so I don't know if I'm up to a convention and I don't know if I'll go to the meeting at the other location tomorrow night because it is across town and because it isn't until later in the evening. Tomorrow I'll probably just go back to the same location I went to today and then maybe try out a couple of other locations later this week or this weekend.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Oh Yes! Chris Please go...... We only have them each 5 years and it's an awesome experience
. You can pick any meeting that interest you
or just wander from rooom to room and listen.
Sorry I won't be going this year but we do have
SR members who are.
Here is the info on them.....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...on-2010-a.html
The AA International convention is this weekend and I was also encouraged by some of them to attend but they also said no pressure.
. You can pick any meeting that interest you
or just wander from rooom to room and listen.
Sorry I won't be going this year but we do have
SR members who are.
Here is the info on them.....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...on-2010-a.html
Last edited by CarolD; 06-28-2010 at 08:58 PM.
~ still a believer ~
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 141
I too was very nervous
@ my first meeting............
the really kewl part is, you will say NOTHING that's going to shock or surprise anyone there. Fortunately/unfortunately, we all have a bond unlike any you've likely come across.
WE ARE ALCOHOLICS
I have picked up SO very much (knowledge) in the few months I have been going...........its really incredible.
and, I so very much 2nd the notion .............IF.......for some reason you aren't feeling one particular meeting..............PLEASE check out another one.
Just like the rest o the world, these rooms are made up of different peoples personalities too.
Me personally, I thinks Its just FAB!
Welcome to SR )))
side note.........My sponsor flies down for the convention on thursday, and she is Soooooooooooooo Psyched about it!!
the really kewl part is, you will say NOTHING that's going to shock or surprise anyone there. Fortunately/unfortunately, we all have a bond unlike any you've likely come across.
WE ARE ALCOHOLICS
I have picked up SO very much (knowledge) in the few months I have been going...........its really incredible.
and, I so very much 2nd the notion .............IF.......for some reason you aren't feeling one particular meeting..............PLEASE check out another one.
Just like the rest o the world, these rooms are made up of different peoples personalities too.
Me personally, I thinks Its just FAB!
Welcome to SR )))
side note.........My sponsor flies down for the convention on thursday, and she is Soooooooooooooo Psyched about it!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
