Buckley

Tonight I am going with my dad and my brother to see The Moody Blues at an outdoor music venue outside of Chicago.
I haven't drank in 10 days, and have been doing ok, but I'm nervous about tonight. There are going to be people drinking all around me, including my brother and my dad, and though they completely support my decision to quit, I know it's going to hard.

This morning when I was driving to work, I was wondering this:

The longer that you go without drinking, do you start to forget how bad the hangovers were, and how bad you felt, and how much guilt you held on to? Does more time that goes by make it easier to relapse? Kind of how a mother forgets over time how much childbirth hurt like h*ll?

Maybe I'm overanalyzing everything. I just have to stick to my guns.

suki44883

Yeah, you do tend to forget. That's the part that sucks so much. I guess that's why so many people use a program to help them through those times. I don't do AA and just celebrated two years sobriety, and although I no longer have cravings, I'm sure I probably did it the hard way. Have you considered using AA?

Man, I wish I was going to the concert with you. I idolize Justin Hayward.

Kjell

Hi Buckley-

I'm closing in on 6 months since my last drink and I wouldn't be going to a concert where alcohol is being consumed all around me, especially by the people I'm going with.

Don't get me wrong, I love concerts, I love being around people, but I'm not ready for that...yet. It's not even that I think I'll rush over and start drinking or hiding it at the concert, but I'm more worried about being around it, getting comfortable with it being around, and then possible trying to drink alone later on when I think I'll get away with it.

I'm in AA and once I get throught the steps, then I'll consider trying to branch out as the situations arise.

Good luck tonight. Do you think you'll drink? Do you think you'll have a good time tonight if you don't drink?

Buckley

I haven't gone to a meeting yet, kind of nervous to, as I'm not a religious person. I'm just nervous about the unknown I guess. It's probably something I need to consider at least TRYING.

Buckley

Kjell - I am not planning on drinking, and I honestly think I can control myself. I went to a movie theatre the other night that served booze and I ordered water, and still had a good time. This is going to be a little different, since I'm used to drinking at concerts. I always have fun with my dad and my brother, so I think that will keep me in line.

Kjell

...and don't get me wrong, I want to be able to do things exactly like you're doing tonight. It's just that I'm not ready.

My world is really small right now, but it's growing bigger as I'm growing into my new sober life. It's important for me to build a firm foundation.

Maybe let us know how your evening went when you get home? That'll give you a little bit of accountability and you'll be helping all who read your post.

BrightLine

I appreciate your situation. The thing you are asking from what I get is can you enjoy yourself in past experiences without indulging and making yourself ill. Some would say you shouldn't do it, but I believe everyone is different and you won't know till you try. I do hope you can get over it and enjoy yourself.

Buckley

Kjell - I will post when I get home. Have to stay strong. They have this AMAZING Ice Cream stand there, so I am trying to look forward to that instead!

NoHo

Did a Phish concert sober last weekend - really wasn't that hard in the end.

wilson27

If you think that it will be difficult to be around your bro and dad just ask them out of respect for your recovery that they not drink. If they give you a hard time about it or say no then they don't support your recovery.

NEOMARXIST

Absolutely you do if you ain't working a recovery program. That program can be anything which keeps you from doing what you are wondering about. I use AA, SR + much wisdom from elsewhere too.

SR is great because you can check in 24/7 and keep in touch with fellow alcoholics and addicts. That much for me is essential. Daily contact with other alcoholics. Keeps me grounded and keeps my recovery moving forwards positively.

What you talk about was my pattern pretty much. I would get to 2/3 weeks and be gagging to get wrecked again. Usually I would binge from Friday till Sunday. be really really screwed mentally and tired all week and then start to feel better again come Friday. Pick my drugs up at luch-time at work and my booze and then head over the pub or crack a can literally as soon as I was out of the door at 5.30pm. get home and wrack a couple of phat lines up. Put my tunes on and smile to myself and hit the lines real hard and down can after can of lager. Passout. wake-up about 3am with a headache and stuffy nose and crack a can and down it. Scramble around to see if I've any Coke left but find I've already ripped the baggies open and licked it dry. Nail a few more can and wake up about 7.00am. Go round the shop and buy few cans of super-stength lager 9%. nail them and buy more Cocaine. Go home and get absoluelty blitzed. etcetc.

Man i am glad to be out of that addiction now.

As for the concert then that's your own decision. For me I have to dedicate my life to my recovery and sobriety. Without that then I'm a dead-man walking. It isn't that I would have worried that I would have drank but it's that alcohol is a sneaky git and sub-consciously it could be storing up power to use over you a few weeks later without you even realising it. Be very warey of alcohol. It will look for anyway to get back into your thinking and then your bloodstream.

peace

Buckley

NoHo - Thanks for the encouragement. I know that I will feel so awesome if I don't drink through this, and that is what is really driving me.

Wilson27 - They wouldn't give me a hard time, I just feel like this is my deal, not theirs. This is tough stuff.

Buckley

Neomarxist - I actually just found a Candlelight meeting near my house tomorrow night. I'm going to check it out. It's going to take a lot of nerves for me to do it, but I know it's what's best. Thanks.
I'm glad you are out of that addiction too!

Dee74

Hi Buckley

My advice is to focus on the music and try very hard to remember why you signed up to SR. Take your own car if possible so that you can leave when you like and make sure you always have a soda handy.

Frankly, I love the Moody Blues but I wouldn't have gone to a concert, after just 10 days, in the company of drinkers, with nothing to work from than 'I just have to stick to my guns'.

We do forget, and we do believe that 'just one won't hurt' because, at the moment, we really want to believe that lie.

Noone wants to deny themselves. The temptation to say '**** it I'll start again tomorrow' is really persuasive in such situations.

I hope you stick it out - remember why you're doing this.

Sobriety is hard enough without putting ourselves in these situations and I hope you'll think twice next time.

D

Kjell

Neo - you and I would have been trouble my friend

Buckley - looking forward to reading your post later tonight. Have fun tonight.

Draciack

Buckley, the one thing I've heard repeated on this site is 'have an escape route.' Meaning give yourself options to leave whenever you feel at risk and definitely don't trap yourself in an alcohol-soaked environment with no possibility of escape. That may mean taking your own transportation or something like that. I've also having another non-drinking or sober person with you helps too.

Best of luck

BrightLine

In all seriousness, if you get into the right state of mind, music can give you a buzz much better than any drug. I've been to some really awesome festivals, glastanbury and stuff. Don't care what anyone else is doing, just concentrate on yourself.

smacked

No way in hellllll would I have gone to a concert that early in my recovery.. I wish you the best. Even if you don't drink, or even feel like drinking..pay mind to how being in such an alcohol soaked environment may have affected you. So, are you just abstaining from alcohol, or are you actually working on recovery?

eleanor

Gosh I really hope you can make it through this without drinking. I'm on day 8 and there is no WAY I could put myself in that position. I declined a weekend at a friend's cottage this weekend b/c I knew everyone there would be drinking and I didn't trust myself enough (nor my addiction) - I knew I'd no longer be sober if I went.

I hope your brother & Dad can help you stay away from the booze too...let us know how it goes!

Buckley

I bought my dad tickets for fathers day, so it was hard to not go.
But...

I didn't drink! It was rough, and I won't be doing anything like this for a long while. But I made it through. I'm very proud of myself for a change.

Thanks to everyone for your support. It helped a lot.