Studying Abroad and Need to Quit
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 37
Studying Abroad and Need to Quit
Hey guys, I'm back after some time messing up. I first got sober back in December '09 and I made it about a month before I relapsed back on opiates. I went on about a month long binge before I quit opiates but continued drinking and smoking pot. That continued for about 2.5 months before I had a brief 6 day relapse on opiates and then quit again about 10 days before I left to study abroad so I wouldn't have to be sick in Europe. I got high right before I got on the plane but since it was only once I didn't get sick. I haven't really looked for opiates or any other drugs here, but I have been drinking a lot. I used to think I didn't really have a problem with alcohol except that it made me crave opiates, but I'm starting to realize that may not be the case.
In the past 4 weeks I've probably blacked out 5 or 6 times, a lot of those ending with me being belligerent and sometimes violent. Each time I told myself I would keep it under control the next time but it hasn't happened yet. My last blackout was 2 days ago and I haven't drank since. It's difficult because most of the other students are pretty focused on drinking basically every night and I feel left out if I don't go with them. On the other hand it does me no good to get wasted and act ridiculous towards them so I really feel like I need to stop completely.
For the past 4 weeks we've been travelling around Europe and for the next 5 I am going to be in England studying at Oxford. More people from my school will join us there and I'm sure there are a few other schools there as well. One of my best friends will be there and although I'm excited to see him I'm kind of worried about his influence as well. He is pretty much an alcoholic and drinks everyday at home so I'm sure it will be the same here. He knows I have a problem with opiates and he supports me in trying to stop that but last time I got completely sober he didn't seem to understand why I couldn't just drink. He's a good enough friend that I think I can make him understand but it's still going to be difficult. Also there's the temptation of having all the bars close/on campus and all my friends going out and drinking. We planned to travel on weekends to places like Munich, Dublin, Amsterdam, etc that are all pretty drinking-focused. I don't want to bail now but I'm not sure what I'll do there if I don't drink at all.
Honestly I don't know what has happened to me recently. I usually just drink on weekends and I never really thought I had much of a problem. Sure I would occasionally have too much, but what college student doesn't? Recently it has been getting progressively worse however. I feel like once I start I can't stop. It's never "enough" so that I'm satisfied and can stop drinking. Maybe I'm craving that opiate feeling and chasing it with alcohol? In the past I blacked out maybe once a semester, if that, now like I said it's been 5 or 6 nights in a month. Also, I've always been a bit more aggressive when drunk, but never to the extent that I get now. I got in several fights towards the end of last semester that were alcohol induced and largely instigated by me. Maybe some of it is that I recently lost about 40 lbs from working out and dieting so maybe I just can't handle as much alcohol as before? Either way I'm thinking it may be time to give up drinking for good but I don't really feel like I'm in the greatest situation for it. I don't have much support here (i.e. parents, therapist, etc) and there is going to be the constant temptation to drink. New situations like this always make me want to self medicate even though I know it's destructive.
Any tips you can give on how I can get through this and get sober would be great!
Thanks,
skroom
In the past 4 weeks I've probably blacked out 5 or 6 times, a lot of those ending with me being belligerent and sometimes violent. Each time I told myself I would keep it under control the next time but it hasn't happened yet. My last blackout was 2 days ago and I haven't drank since. It's difficult because most of the other students are pretty focused on drinking basically every night and I feel left out if I don't go with them. On the other hand it does me no good to get wasted and act ridiculous towards them so I really feel like I need to stop completely.
For the past 4 weeks we've been travelling around Europe and for the next 5 I am going to be in England studying at Oxford. More people from my school will join us there and I'm sure there are a few other schools there as well. One of my best friends will be there and although I'm excited to see him I'm kind of worried about his influence as well. He is pretty much an alcoholic and drinks everyday at home so I'm sure it will be the same here. He knows I have a problem with opiates and he supports me in trying to stop that but last time I got completely sober he didn't seem to understand why I couldn't just drink. He's a good enough friend that I think I can make him understand but it's still going to be difficult. Also there's the temptation of having all the bars close/on campus and all my friends going out and drinking. We planned to travel on weekends to places like Munich, Dublin, Amsterdam, etc that are all pretty drinking-focused. I don't want to bail now but I'm not sure what I'll do there if I don't drink at all.
Honestly I don't know what has happened to me recently. I usually just drink on weekends and I never really thought I had much of a problem. Sure I would occasionally have too much, but what college student doesn't? Recently it has been getting progressively worse however. I feel like once I start I can't stop. It's never "enough" so that I'm satisfied and can stop drinking. Maybe I'm craving that opiate feeling and chasing it with alcohol? In the past I blacked out maybe once a semester, if that, now like I said it's been 5 or 6 nights in a month. Also, I've always been a bit more aggressive when drunk, but never to the extent that I get now. I got in several fights towards the end of last semester that were alcohol induced and largely instigated by me. Maybe some of it is that I recently lost about 40 lbs from working out and dieting so maybe I just can't handle as much alcohol as before? Either way I'm thinking it may be time to give up drinking for good but I don't really feel like I'm in the greatest situation for it. I don't have much support here (i.e. parents, therapist, etc) and there is going to be the constant temptation to drink. New situations like this always make me want to self medicate even though I know it's destructive.
Any tips you can give on how I can get through this and get sober would be great!
Thanks,
skroom
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Welcome back Skroom
Unfortunately it's not uncommon to find ourselves in cross addiction - becoming addicted to a new drug of choice.
My advice is to do whatever you can to find support - hit a recovery group as soon as you can - whether it be AA or some other group, and maybe look into some counselling when you settle in one place.
While you're traveling, if you can't find any meetings, I guess you have to ask yourself whats more important, wanting to feel part of the group or looking out for your best interests.
D
Unfortunately it's not uncommon to find ourselves in cross addiction - becoming addicted to a new drug of choice.
My advice is to do whatever you can to find support - hit a recovery group as soon as you can - whether it be AA or some other group, and maybe look into some counselling when you settle in one place.
While you're traveling, if you can't find any meetings, I guess you have to ask yourself whats more important, wanting to feel part of the group or looking out for your best interests.
D
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
I couldn't tell what you needed from your post. Are you wanting to be sober? If so...Dee's response was spot on.
The only thing I would add is to not use your travels as an excuse to use, if sobriety is your goal.
Pop into SR when you can. It can help!
The only thing I would add is to not use your travels as an excuse to use, if sobriety is your goal.
Pop into SR when you can. It can help!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 37
Yes I am wanting to get sober. It's just that it's hard while I'm traveling without any support like family, meetings, etc. There's also a lot of stress involved. Fortunately it is much more difficult for me to get drugs while I'm traveling (haven't tried but I would imagine) but obviously alcohol is everywhere.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
