emotional breakdown.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
emotional breakdown.
I did not use.
It suddenly hit me. Like a huge tidal wave of deep, intense emotions. It overwhelmed me, knocked me of my feet. Crying, hysteria, throwing up, shaking. I just couldnt handle this intence karmatic backlash
Since I called in sick today, I couldnīt go for a strole through the park, cause my co-workers often have lunch there and such. Seeing my girlfriend with her family, being happy and nice and stuff, opened up a door for me.
I had a "#$"#$ childhood, kinda broken home, work-a-holic as a father, over-emotional controlfreak as a mother. Compared to storys some other addicts have shared with me over the years my story is peanuts, and I almost feel like a spoiled brat. However, each has his own battles to fight.
This happened as soon as they left the door to go for the park, and luckily I kinda recovered again by the time they got back. Iīm too proud to cry in front of others, however they all could see my eyes ofcourse. Luckely they are the nicest, I got a big big hug from my gfīs sister, wich almost started another freakout. Thank god I have somehow mastered deep breathing since iīve been meditating for about eight years now, so I could keep things under control. I REALLY DID NOT WANT HER BIRTHDAY TO EVOLVE AROUND ME AND MY PERSONAL MESSES.
They left again, my gf too, to do some shopping, and to be honest iīm glad for it. This gives me the time to write all this stuff down, my hands are still shaking and iīm on the verge of another breakdown. I know this is mainly the detoxing thing, and I know itīll pass in time.
Iīm gonna take a hot shower and a nap.
pick up the peaces and keep on truckinī
It suddenly hit me. Like a huge tidal wave of deep, intense emotions. It overwhelmed me, knocked me of my feet. Crying, hysteria, throwing up, shaking. I just couldnt handle this intence karmatic backlash
Since I called in sick today, I couldnīt go for a strole through the park, cause my co-workers often have lunch there and such. Seeing my girlfriend with her family, being happy and nice and stuff, opened up a door for me.
I had a "#$"#$ childhood, kinda broken home, work-a-holic as a father, over-emotional controlfreak as a mother. Compared to storys some other addicts have shared with me over the years my story is peanuts, and I almost feel like a spoiled brat. However, each has his own battles to fight.
This happened as soon as they left the door to go for the park, and luckily I kinda recovered again by the time they got back. Iīm too proud to cry in front of others, however they all could see my eyes ofcourse. Luckely they are the nicest, I got a big big hug from my gfīs sister, wich almost started another freakout. Thank god I have somehow mastered deep breathing since iīve been meditating for about eight years now, so I could keep things under control. I REALLY DID NOT WANT HER BIRTHDAY TO EVOLVE AROUND ME AND MY PERSONAL MESSES.
They left again, my gf too, to do some shopping, and to be honest iīm glad for it. This gives me the time to write all this stuff down, my hands are still shaking and iīm on the verge of another breakdown. I know this is mainly the detoxing thing, and I know itīll pass in time.
Iīm gonna take a hot shower and a nap.
pick up the peaces and keep on truckinī
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,868
I remember when I came home from my 6 day detox, I was so emotional that someone just saying "hi" would cause me to cry. Not sure why that happens, but it's actually quite cathartic. Seems I remember it getting a lot better after a week or so.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
I know it gets better...
it subsided a bit now...
Mistakes I made today:
1. drinking too much coffee in the morning, made me totally strung out.
2. Not drinking enough water, for the detoxing,
3. not eating enough.
So iīve done 2 and 3 now, and I feel slightly better.
it subsided a bit now...
Mistakes I made today:
1. drinking too much coffee in the morning, made me totally strung out.
2. Not drinking enough water, for the detoxing,
3. not eating enough.
So iīve done 2 and 3 now, and I feel slightly better.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Yeah, it's important to make sure you're eating right. I just started a second job (though I think it will be the only job as my other one honestly can't compete and is a waste of my time and resources), and I've been running around like a crazy man. Working 12-, 14-, 15-hour days, only getting one meal in the afternoon and not eating at night because I'm too exhausted to make dinner when I get home at midnight or 1am. And it's started to take its toll on me. I noticed this weekend that I was getting really weak and tired, and that made me start thinking of alcohol a bit. I'm not sure why, but I think it's because when I was drinking, I would often use beer as a substitute for food at certain times when my body was really hungry. So I've got to work on eating right, no matter how I do it. Thanks for pointing that out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
I think I know what u mean Snarf,
I always get cravings/relapses when iīm really really tired, or when I neglect some other bodely functions such as hunger, thirst, doing number one or two etc.
I did not have real cravings today, iīm too occupied dealing with emotions and stuff. I went to a bbq at my gfīs sisterīs place. People there smoked weed (my DOC), and drank alcohol but I really donīt care. Other people using isnīt my trigger anymore for the last year or so. Iīve been working hard and that and it has paid off.
However I am the greatest danger to myself. I proberly have ADD or some anxiety issues/disorder. I tend to loose myself in the chaos that is me. I always relapse when Iīm alone, never in the company of others.
So, that is what I am going to work on. There are great NA meetings here. (YES FINALLY). So the next time I canīt hack it no more cravingwise iīll call for help and go to a meeting.
I can do this.
I want to do this.
Eyes on the prize Violet, eyes on the prize.
I always get cravings/relapses when iīm really really tired, or when I neglect some other bodely functions such as hunger, thirst, doing number one or two etc.
I did not have real cravings today, iīm too occupied dealing with emotions and stuff. I went to a bbq at my gfīs sisterīs place. People there smoked weed (my DOC), and drank alcohol but I really donīt care. Other people using isnīt my trigger anymore for the last year or so. Iīve been working hard and that and it has paid off.
However I am the greatest danger to myself. I proberly have ADD or some anxiety issues/disorder. I tend to loose myself in the chaos that is me. I always relapse when Iīm alone, never in the company of others.
So, that is what I am going to work on. There are great NA meetings here. (YES FINALLY). So the next time I canīt hack it no more cravingwise iīll call for help and go to a meeting.
I can do this.
I want to do this.
Eyes on the prize Violet, eyes on the prize.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I actually think that it's a positive thing for you to go through a huge wave of emotion like that. It means you're doing well, moving forward, healing, getting stronger.
Yes, you can do this and you're doing great! I'm glad that you have family support.
Yes, you can do this and you're doing great! I'm glad that you have family support.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
