I've hit it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 11
I've hit it.
Hi, I am new here and this is my final resort. After I have completely ruined what was supposed to be a nice fathers day for my husband by blacking out for part of the day.
I am here for support and to help me with my struggles with addiction. I look forward to getting to know everyone.
I am here for support and to help me with my struggles with addiction. I look forward to getting to know everyone.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Hi Candy. welcome and good luck to you. Recovery is quite simple.........but it's not necessarily easy. Be open minded and willing to change (remember, the best your brain has landed you in the mess you're in.....) and you'll do just fine. In fact, you'll be shocked at how cool life can be.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Welcome Candy,
Like Notnormal said, we've all "been there done that" when it comes to the various special things in life that are destroyed by our addictive behavior and illness. I have personally made a mockery of so many important events/days for both myself and my loved ones - by being blotto drunk and/or blacking out.
No reason to beat yourself up over it, just use it as the impetus for that change you've always known was coming. "Screwing up" is just another day for us as long as we remain drunks, but those days can be forever gone. Just do the work.
Believe me you are in the right spot to learn the techniques and tools to stay sober. People here are wonderful. Keep posting, keep coming back, and most importantly, keep away from booze.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Candy, I join the others in welcoming you. I found this site the day I stopped drinking, and that was 89 days ago. Sober Recovery has been a big help for me. AA has also helped tremendously. I went to 4 meetings that first day, and I've kept coming back ever since. It's a wonderful thing to be able to talk to others who have been through some of the same experiences that you have. Good luck to you and keep asking questions. You'll get a lot of answers, but it's up to you to decide which answers you like.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Welcome. Glad you found us. You will find many plans for recovery here. My suggestion is take one that you feel will work best for you, and work it with all of your might. As we know, the grip of addiction is a strong one. Stick with us.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 15
Hi Candy, I'm new too. Speaking of a 'recovery plan', I haven't even thought about it yet either, but I can tell you weight has been lifted off my shoulders in making the decision to try sober living, and finding this online support group.
Someone today gave me advice for the first few days, which is to outright avoid the trigger times/stresses that make you pick up a drink; for example, I always crack a beer or pour a cocktail when I get home from work--instead, this week, I'm going out for coffee with friends after work, heading to a softball game, etc. I honestly don't know if this tactic will work but I'll try it.
Someone today gave me advice for the first few days, which is to outright avoid the trigger times/stresses that make you pick up a drink; for example, I always crack a beer or pour a cocktail when I get home from work--instead, this week, I'm going out for coffee with friends after work, heading to a softball game, etc. I honestly don't know if this tactic will work but I'll try it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by Galago 
Hi Candy, I'm new too. Speaking of a 'recovery plan', I haven't even thought about it yet either, but I can tell you weight has been lifted off my shoulders in making the decision to try sober living, and finding this online support group.
Someone today gave me advice for the first few days, which is to outright avoid the trigger times/stresses that make you pick up a drink; for example, I always crack a beer or pour a cocktail when I get home from work--instead, this week, I'm going out for coffee with friends after work, heading to a softball game, etc. I honestly don't know if this tactic will work but I'll try it.
Someone today gave me advice for the first few days, which is to outright avoid the trigger times/stresses that make you pick up a drink; for example, I always crack a beer or pour a cocktail when I get home from work--instead, this week, I'm going out for coffee with friends after work, heading to a softball game, etc. I honestly don't know if this tactic will work but I'll try it.
Maybe I will take my little girl to the library or park this evening instead of sitting at home.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Originally Posted by candyheiress
Thank you everyone.
@Smacked - I don't know. I am so lost as to where to start. I was hoping I could find some guidance in the right direction - besides not drinking.
@Smacked - I don't know. I am so lost as to where to start. I was hoping I could find some guidance in the right direction - besides not drinking.
Few things I've learned;
1. The thing that gets you sober will NEVER keep you sober for long.
2. Getting help from communities and like-minded people will improve your odds significantly. Look into SMART/AA/Rational Recovery/Addiction counselling, or any combination of these.
2. "Not drinking" and "recovery" are 2 very different things. The first just right sucks, and the latter is an awesome journey of self discovery.
3. "One day at a time" is not just a catch phrase, it's a very simple and effective weapon against cravings and the inevitable thoughts that quitting is too difficult.
For me to quit I had a great deal of help thanks to hitting a very lousy bottom. Being scared of dying is quite the motivating thing. However, without taking the time to learn - mostly by reading here and following advice - I'd be out pounding back the bottles again for sure. What keeps me sober, to date, is knowing I am not alone in the battle and that I can't expect to succeed doing it "my way" or "alone".
We need help with this thing because it has a power over us that we can't hope to ever control or negotiate.
Here's a few links that helped me in my first few days (thanks again NewBeginning!).
Big Book Online
Earls Story (really compelling - do listen)
Old School AA Study Tapes
Rain In My Heart (A very poignant documentary on our illness)
Oh, and congratulations on taking the first step!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 15
Candy- HA! Yes, that is exactly what I do everyday too! I even have the route home mapped out in my head for where the liquor stores are in reference to where I am on the route.
And I completely agree about the $$. Like, thousands and thousands of dollars I've spent poisoning my liver. And what kinds of awesome things I could have done with that money instead.
But you can't dwell on that thinking... really negative, dragging thoughts.
Good idea about the library or park! Try it and see how it goes
And I completely agree about the $$. Like, thousands and thousands of dollars I've spent poisoning my liver. And what kinds of awesome things I could have done with that money instead.
But you can't dwell on that thinking... really negative, dragging thoughts.
Good idea about the library or park! Try it and see how it goes
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,371
Welcome Candy
Binder and Galago have already touched on most of things I think are important.
I recommend everyone sees a Dr, cos although most folks are fine, detox can sometimes be a problem for some....I also recommend everyone at least looks into some of the recovery groups around.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
You'll find a lot of support here of course, but I reckon you can never have too much support.
Hope to see you around some more
D
Binder and Galago have already touched on most of things I think are important.
I recommend everyone sees a Dr, cos although most folks are fine, detox can sometimes be a problem for some....I also recommend everyone at least looks into some of the recovery groups around.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
You'll find a lot of support here of course, but I reckon you can never have too much support.
Hope to see you around some more
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 78
Welcome! I'm new to sobriety as well. Today is day 4 and I won't lie - I am craving it so, so much. I'm off to fitness boot camp in 15 minutes. But usually after boot camp I'd go to the liquor store and then come home and drink the rest of the night. Sigh.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Candy! (Galago and Eleanor, too):day6 I can't add much to what binder said, but just try to keep things at a low stress level, and don't think about never drinking again - just take it one day (or one hour) at a time. Come here and read and post when things get tough.
Are you going through withdrawals at all? It's definitely a good thing to have a doctor's help/support if you are.
You can do this! We're here to encourage you and tell you: it really does get better!
Are you going through withdrawals at all? It's definitely a good thing to have a doctor's help/support if you are.
You can do this! We're here to encourage you and tell you: it really does get better!
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