gallery007

So, last night I finally broke down and told by husband that I had relapsed. It felt so amazing to get that off my chest and the guilt wasn't as overwhelming anymore. We're gonna go see a counselor together. He was actually very supportive-not to say he wasn't a little angry but it went much better than I thought it would. I feel like I'm not living such a lie anymore. How are you guys doing?

TwelveSteps

That's great news. I can't tell my boyfriend I relapsed because (1) he's dealing with his grandmother's serious illness and doesn't need more to burden him and (2) he got really angry with me last time I relapsed. So I identify with the pain and shame you were feeling and am so happy with you that you were able to get that off your chest. Your life partner is a key ally in fighting this disease.

GG

smacked

Are you also seeing a counselor just for YOU?

Brucel

How cool is that, getting away with it has been replaced with facing the reality despite our imagined consequences. I'd call that courage. Glad you got that weight off your shoulders. How freeing is that. God Bless

Impurrfect

(((Gallery))) - good for you!!

I am sort of confused...why the counseling together? Though I think it's great he's supportive, this is something he really can't help you with. I think counseling for YOU is a great idea..have someone you can talk to about ANYTHING and not worry about how your husband's going to feel, hearing it.

I know that I put my family through hell with my addiction. In early recovery, there's just no way I would/could have told them "I want to use", even though I didn't have any intention of following THROUGH with those thoughts. I know that would have put them into "panic" mode. "Normies" just can't comprehend our thought processes..how some of us can be on the very edge of losing everything, yet still want to use/drink.

I'm not saying that "couple counseling" is a BAD idea...just giving you something to think about. Sometimes BOTH people in a couple need individual counseling. There's no shame in it, as any time a person goes to a counselor, they're simply going in order to make themselves a better person.

I bet you feel as though a HUGE weight is lifted off your shoulers!!! I'm really proud of you!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

gallery007

You have NO idea what an amazing burden it is to get it off my back. It was just the lying and betraying to the guy I love that killed me. But, the counseling is just for me...but we had a session together so she (the therapist, who specializes in addiction) explained to him a little better about the disease of addiction and what it entails and what he can do to be supportive but that he has to continue to live his own life as well. Policing me and constantly worrying about me isn't healthy for me...he has to continue to follow his dreams (he's in Nursing School) and just let me know he's there for when I need him. She also said for him to be honest and bering it up if e saw warning signs that I was using --but not in an angry way more of I'm concerned way. It was a good session. I actually slept peacefully last night for the first time in awhile and I hope the same for all of you!

gallery007

Smacked: Yes, my therapist is just for me--she's been a huge help--but man, she has me doing these "homework" journal things...they kill me. makes me feel kinda silly--and then I have to read it out loud and my worst fear in the entire world (aside from sharks) is public speaking--even in front of one person--I break out in hives...seriously

gallery007

TwelveSteps: I hope one day when your boyfriend isn't going through so much you can share this with him. Telling the ppl you love that you have a disease that is extremely hard to battle is nothing to be ashamed of. But, believe me I know it's terrifying--I was in tears and shaking when I told my husband--I felt like I was having a panic attack and I really did think he would hate me or leave me...it was a surprise how well he took it. He just said "OK we knew a relapse could happen and we'll just have to kick it's a** again!

mf150

Your husband is cool! I'm glad you have his support.

Anna

I'm glad you have support!

gallery007

mf150: I gotta say I did get extremely lucky in the husband department--and he's a looker too!! But the best part of him and that he just genuinely wants to help people. That's why he joined Navy and served for 5 years and now wants to become a nurse. He really believes that everyone has the chance to have for an amazing life. I almost feel guilty being married to such a saint!

artsoul

I'm lovin' it!

mf150

Don't feel guilty, take it and run! you deserve a good guy.

Impurrfect

((Gallery)) - sounds like you've got a good therapist...really neat that she talked to your husband, to clue him in on what's going on, but the therapy is for YOU. Getting out of our "comfort zone", like the "homework" you have is tough, but I've found that it has moved me forward in my recovery, like nothing else has. I tend to get "stuck" in my comfort zones...even when I'm miserable. Having someone push me out of that zone is painful, at first, but darned if it doesn't feel AWESOME in the long run!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

sassy2222

Hello everyone.Iam new to this.I have a son that is trying to get off alcohol.So Iam here to learn how to help him.
Hope Iam doing this right.If not please let me know.