PizzaChef

Day 6 - and as hard as it's been I've not been tempted to drink. I've made a list of all the reasons why not to and stuck to them.

Agggh. Ok so the sweating has stopped and I'm not having quite as many memory gaps as before. I'm still panicking at the thought of upcoming social events but I'm putting them out of my mind - focusing on "I won't drink today".

But ohhhhh help. The ANGER! I am soooo angry. ALL the time! I'm agitated and snappy and I'm going over things time and time again in my head. I'm snappy with my partner, my daughter, my step-kids. I just want to be totally alone and have a couple of hours head-space. I know this sounds really selfish but I live in a house where the phone never stops ringing and there's always something like "oh by the way mum, I need to have a packed lunch for school tomorrow". I'm pathetic I know - these are such little things but wine always took the edge off. For me, that was the positive I got from it. I could cope with the mile-a-minute stuff.

My family is made up of two other families who have come together. I have an ex (my daughter's dad) and my boyfriend has an ex (the mother of his three kids) and they bring constant headaches too. I think the problem is that I used to bury all the issues in the alcohol haze and now I have to face them head-on and sober. It's an entirely different perspective and I'm now going over old issues in my head too - ones I blocked out with a few glasses of vino before.

If anyone can invent a non-alcoholic "switch off" for my brain, please do let me know!

Brucel

They invented that switch a long time ago. It's called prayer for me. I gotta ask the Big Guy in the few quiet moments that I have to Help me get thru the next few hours, minutes, seconds, and when it happens I say thanks. It's worked for a long time for me and I know it will work for you. Hang in there and try it. God Bless

Kerbcrawler

hang in there pizza chef, i know what its like between 5pm and 8pm,3 serious stressfull
hours for kids playin up with teas, phones ringin, people knockin on the door, you get wound up like a coil...after a couple of weeks,that for me got a bit easier, but with the mayhem and bedlam, its a big time for triggers, stay strong, best of luck.

sleepie

Oh girl, I'm sorry you have it so rough right now- I am fortunate in that I have no spouse, family, or partner to interfere with total concentration on myself. Do they know you are currently fighting to stay sober? Maybe you can get away to a women's meeting here and there to get some of this off your chest? A little "you" time, where people can listen and relate, and maybe you'll even meet others in similar positions. Talking to others is essential- nobody should do this alone. I am not really so fond of "AA"- but I do go to meetings and have a sponsor- simply for the fact that I can say things in a meeting full of women of all ages and backgrounds- who can usually relate in some way, and that in itself has been a source of comfort and strength.