dedubya

I have tried to cut my drinking back, and been pretty successful. Down to 3 max per night. So I am ready to just quit. I know the deal- and I know I can't have even one- or sooner or later I will go into that black hole that I know so well. Just an update.
Curveball-
My wife gets back in town after vacationing (we go on separates twice a year- kind of a thing to make us miss each other I guess...). My 19 year old daughter had spent the week with her 'friends' while my wife was out- while I was working 24/7 (which keeps me on track by the way- at least lately). When wife got home she went into my daughters room and it was a mess and she just started cleaning up....disaster. My wife found out my daughter (who I love unconditionally) has pawned 3 of my watches (expensive to say the least) , and several pearl and jeweled necklaces that her mother gave her earlier in her life that are family heirlooms (beyond expensive). Luckily they aren't for sale yet so we can hopefully get them back (my daughter was rummaging the house while I was working...). She also found around 15 used needles and spoons hidden in parts of her room- she is using oxy and suboxone and probably heroin - who the hell knows. I am devastated. My wife and I decided when or if, she returns that the only way she can live here is to go through a month rehab program. I took her door off of her room (which she had a key lock on it) and my wife cleaned it up. She is going to freak out when/if she gets home. I am sick to my stomach.
I know- sober myself up to deal with this- I am trying and this may be the breaking point. But what the crap- she is stealing from her parents???
Enough said-best wishes to all of you, and hope you find peace and Love in your lives.
Dub

Severian

Ouch. Very rough. Best of luck whatever you do.

Brucel

If you're looking for a breaking point, this'll do as good as any. If you're looking to get and stay sober, this can also be the turning point. Sorry for your troubles cause they sound pretty tough, but I know if you take care of you all that will work out in the wash. Going to a rehab for her is a great idea. It could be her turning point also. In the program I belong to they say it's attraction rather than promotion. YOU could be that attraction. God Bless

pinkgurl87

I'm sorry that must be really hard. hugs <3 Their is hope for every addict, don't give up hope on her. I hope she gets help. Hope that you get sober too. Maybe use this as an oportunity to sober up be an example for your daughter.

Anna

Dub, I am sorry you're going through this.

I am glad that you and your wife are aware how bad the problem with your daughter has become and I hope that your daughter will seek help for herself.

artsoul

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that. I fear for my children as well, because all this stuff seems to run through the genes. At least she has parents who love her and want to get her help. Maybe you and your daughter can help each other. All the best, Dub. Hang in there.

Rusty Zipper

dub,

this news sure blows!

hey, maybe you and daughter,

might do a father daughter rehab stint together?

good wishes to you both,

and that wife of yours

zip

Ronan

Damnit man, that's aweful..

Well there's no other way around this than for you to get sober yourself. You can't expect her to clean up her act when you haven't.

Richard54

Dub as you well know needles and spoons are not a good sign.
If you're finding spoons and needles in your daughters room she probably needs more help than you do...or that you can single handed offer her.
My daughter went down the same path...it got very ugly ...very quick.
Guess I'm the lucky cowboy though cuz she is fine and dandy now and she really appreciates her Dad being half way normal too..her rock.
Good luck Dub... its not you that got her strung out (remember this) but you can be a pillar to her recovery.

Fandy

Dub, so sorry to hear this....your daughter's addiction is stronger than her attachment to her parents....she is only concentrating on feeding it.....please find her and get her into some strict program that will save her.

I think that this also will help you to deal with your desire to quit....you need to think clearly to save your child.....tough love for both of you.

intention

Do you still think you have the power to give up alcohol yourself, Dub?


Please go to AA and get yourself a sponsor who can show you how to obtain the power to give up the alcohol.

If after all of this you still believe that you trying will mean that you will succeed this time, then I really am concerned not only for your life, but your daughter's life. She's never going to get clean with alcoholic father who doesn't quit drinking.

God bless all your family.

dedubya

thanks friends
all i have to say- but i appreciate you. my mind is doing that racing thing and i know what i need to do.
love and peace to all of you- you know i appreciate you hopefully
dub

tallcactus

Do an intervention on her. Get her to rehab...now.
Get her help that she truely needs, then when you know she is safe, work on you,
All my very best to you.

NEOMARXIST

Hey Dub. Can't really offer any advice to you man, other than I guess if you are sober and in recovery then it's a good example to set to your daughter. Though I ain't preaching though man, you know that.

I ain't a parent and I am a similar age to your daughter, 5 years older. As you know I got sober at 23. I guess it's real hard as an alcoholic/addict can only really get and stay clean when they reach that point where they've had enough.

I never shot up anything thankfully but I could see the natural progression to shooting. I never dabled in opiates purely because I didn't hang with anyone who had access to them. USA seems to have a real problem with these opiate prescription medicines. I never heard of them untill I came to SR. When I talk about pills then I'm referring to generic pills off the street ie- E's and whatever is in em now days, so mainly speed or BZP. I used to mail order BZP and LSA when it was legal a few years ago and used to do a lot of that back in the day but it was all good times really. Obviously opiates are a different league and I can imagine how difficult it must be to get to the 'end' where you're ready and willing when you're using that stuff.

I can't really offer any advice. I know how hard the haunting memories of just doing drugs up the nose and orally can be, let alone straight into the arm. It's a difficult one man but I guess all you can do is try to do your best and set the best example that you can to your daughter.

Peace and all the best.

Dee74

Hey Dub

Best wishes for you and your daughter.

I know I'm a broken record here, but the best thing you can give your daughter right now is an example in sobriety - I know you can do it.

D

dedubya

still havent heard from her- except she texted my son (who is a rock, he has his crap together) and said she doesn't want to live any longer. great news...she will not return my calls but she texted me and said she is only communicating with my son (at least she is talking to him). i am about to explode. is it possible for a person's head to explode? it feels like it....
i will quit bringing you all down for now. just venting.
dub

NoHo

You have a bunch of understanding people on this site, so shouldn't feel like you're bringing anyone down from my view. Is she afraid that she's dug such a big hole that she doesn't want to face the music? Fear keeps people away. Judgment and punishment don't feel particularly good, especially when one feels beyond repair. Not sure how you reach her, but hopefully she'll come to understand your true motivations. A daughter is far more valuable than a few watches and family heirlooms.

Severian

Bring us down?

Hello-o-o-o!!! We're recovering alcoholics and addicts. We've been down. Supporting others helps keep us clean. Don't even think about not posting anything and everything you feel like sharing.

FWIW, I interpret her texting your son as a lifeline - no matter how else she says she feels. She's reaching out. Stay positive, stay strong.

dedubya

i am going to bed its early but i have had it.
dub
wnat do you want from me? (pink floyd) thats how i feel
dub
i am not myself now...whats going on?
YouTube - Pink Floyd - SPACE ODYSSEY - What Do You Want From Me

Lenina

((((Dubs))))

My head never exploded but I used to do a pretty mean Linda Blair impression!

Just sending my love to you. Get some rest. Don't drink or use. Things will be better tomorrow.

Much love,

Lenina