Wilde10

Will start saying I did not drink.
I was in a business trip today. As I have said before I am not (yet) an everyday drinker but if I start I continue and if I was not trying to 'control' it I would drink everyday.
But the most difficult part was today: all the habits. Plane, arrival at hotel, the great opportunity to drink with people after work in pub... Actually I was meant to be there but I left with the excuse of changing shoes and will not be back. Arrived here and arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggg!!! organisers have made me a gift that includes some crafts and A BOTTLE OF WINE! As if the minibar, and the bar downstairs was not enough temptation.

it is so difficult. I know I will not drink tonight and will feel good about it. I also know that not being so far down the line of alcoholism may be an additional problem with me. Will be eaier to talk me into drinking. I am not as bad as others describe, blah, blah, blah... But the problem is I do not want to get there to start with.

End of rant. To bed now.

Anna

As time goes by, you will stop noticing things like that.

Many changes have to occur during early sobriety, and with work and patience, you will start to feel better.

Brucel

Way to go wild1. Hey, if this was easy, everybody would be clean and sober. It's not. But it is doable. It sounds like you have the want necessary to make it. You are also right in assuming that you can get off the elevator at any floor you wish. You don't have to ride it all the way to the basement, and some. I got involved in AA, and when I was in a town other than my own for any reason, business or whatever, I could find a group of guys just like me to chop it up with and not risk the chance of drinking. If the thought of not being as bad as "those people" comes in, most normal drinkers NEVER have to try and control their drinking. Hope tomorrow brings you peace. God Bless

shelly009

We are very similar in our drinking habits I think.

You are doing FANTASTIC!! Just think how proud of yourself you will be! Every time you refuse it will just get that much easier! Good work... stick with it!!

artsoul

Good for you for hanging in there. I agree with what shelly said: The more we do things sober, the easier it will get. Practice, practice, practice, like playing the violin. Sounds like hell at first...

Keep that hangover-free morning in the front of your mind, and take things ODAAT. You can do it!

endlesspatience

I agree with the other posters. You are doing great. Think how good you will feel in the morning. Remember that wretched feeling of waking up in a hotel room preparing for a meeting with a blinding hangover? The way you needed to chug back ten glasses of nasty half-warm orange juice in the breakfast bar just to rehydrate? The naseus feeling on the ride to the first meeting? The shameful apology for being late? Having to explain to your boss why you let down a client you'd gone all that way to meet? Have a read of the AA Big Book. There's a story in there about a guy who had years of sobriety and then threw it away on a business trip. Let's enjoy our time away and not mess it all up like we used to do.

TwelveSteps

Way to go, Wilde1, with not drinking. Congrats!

Wilde10

Thanks all...
I feel great and I left my gift (the bottle of wine) on the table of the hotel this morning full of pride... Endless.. I have never ever being late at work or similar - It is still a very private thing. This is common to alcoholic women, isn't it? It is so utterly shameful to be a woman, a mother and to get yourself wasted alone. I have done other things like drinking when in charge of my kids and making myself sick to try to get rid of the alcohol out of guilt. I call it my form of liquid bulimia... the compulstion to drink, the shame and then wanting to get rid of it. The forum was very helpful although I could not access it more than 10 minutes last night but I was thinking about the stories, things others told me and how clear it is from the outside that it is the most ridiculous thing to have a drink when you kow what will follow.
Thank you

TwelveSteps

Woo! Congrats, Wilde, that's a big accomplishment!

GG

artsoul

Excellent job! I try to remember that even if the rest of the day sucks, it's still a good day if I stay sober. Congratulations on leaving that wine alone!