Passed a Big Test Tonight
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Passed a Big Test Tonight
So tomorrow is 12 weeks without alcohol, and tonight I passed the biggest test I've faced, and didn't even flinch. Tonight was a good friend's 30th birthday celebration, and about 50 of my friends were there. This party was held in a restaurant where many of us (at least 20) used to or still work. And this restaurant is also a brewery that brews its own beer. Our days there go back to 2002, and most of those days involved heavy drinking. Needless to say, there was quite a bit of alcohol consumption this evening. Beer, shots, more beer, wine, martinis, more shots, margaritas, gin & tonics...It was flowing quite freely.
And I drank 3 Coca-Colas.
I had built up a little anxiety about the party. I actually had not committed to going because I was worried about being in that environment. Most of my friends are around 28-31, and in Atlanta drinking is very prevalent. Lots of bars, clubs, liquor stores, very easy access. So my group tends to drink, and many drink heavily. I'm around alcohol all the time, as I'm a bartender and server. But I never really struggle with not drinking. I know alcohol is OK for some people but not for me, so I don't drink. And I've hung out with some friends these last 12 weeks, and some have drank and some didn't, and I've been cool either way. But tonight was the first large gathering of friends, some of whom I've known for 15+ years, pretty much built solely around drinking. That's why the party was where it was, that's why the people were there who were, that's what everyone was looking for. And they got it.
But I just chilled with my Coke, talked to some old friends I hadn't seen in many years, and I'll remember all of it. My girl was able to drink a couple of glasses of wine as I was driving home. I felt like I connected with the people I talked to, because our conversation was built around more than, "Take this shot! Drink your beer, sissy!" And the whole time it was going on, I was just thankful that I wasn't drinking. People even commented on it, with a couple just plain being shocked that I wasn't drinking, some asking if I was on medication, and a couple close friends telling me they were really proud of me. And that meant a whole heck of a lot.
So tonight could not have gone better. I saw a lot of my friends, reconnected with people I hadn't seen in a really long time, had meaningful conversations, drove home safely, and will remember everything tomorrow without having a terrible headache, throwing up, and my mouth feeling like I've been in the desert for days. I'm thankful that my Higher Power saw fit to relieve me of my obsession to consume alcohol, and tonight was confirmation of that.
And I drank 3 Coca-Colas.
I had built up a little anxiety about the party. I actually had not committed to going because I was worried about being in that environment. Most of my friends are around 28-31, and in Atlanta drinking is very prevalent. Lots of bars, clubs, liquor stores, very easy access. So my group tends to drink, and many drink heavily. I'm around alcohol all the time, as I'm a bartender and server. But I never really struggle with not drinking. I know alcohol is OK for some people but not for me, so I don't drink. And I've hung out with some friends these last 12 weeks, and some have drank and some didn't, and I've been cool either way. But tonight was the first large gathering of friends, some of whom I've known for 15+ years, pretty much built solely around drinking. That's why the party was where it was, that's why the people were there who were, that's what everyone was looking for. And they got it.
But I just chilled with my Coke, talked to some old friends I hadn't seen in many years, and I'll remember all of it. My girl was able to drink a couple of glasses of wine as I was driving home. I felt like I connected with the people I talked to, because our conversation was built around more than, "Take this shot! Drink your beer, sissy!" And the whole time it was going on, I was just thankful that I wasn't drinking. People even commented on it, with a couple just plain being shocked that I wasn't drinking, some asking if I was on medication, and a couple close friends telling me they were really proud of me. And that meant a whole heck of a lot.
So tonight could not have gone better. I saw a lot of my friends, reconnected with people I hadn't seen in a really long time, had meaningful conversations, drove home safely, and will remember everything tomorrow without having a terrible headache, throwing up, and my mouth feeling like I've been in the desert for days. I'm thankful that my Higher Power saw fit to relieve me of my obsession to consume alcohol, and tonight was confirmation of that.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Wichita KS
Posts: 53
Thats an inspiring story
It hits home because I am 29 and most of my friends are in the same age group as yours. Its good to know that you can enjoy an evening with old friends without drinking, even when they are drinking. I myself am pretty sure I could not fight the temptation to drink if I were in a similar situation, although I believe Im getting closer to that level of responsibility, Im not quite there yet. Congrats on your 12 weeks sober!
It hits home because I am 29 and most of my friends are in the same age group as yours. Its good to know that you can enjoy an evening with old friends without drinking, even when they are drinking. I myself am pretty sure I could not fight the temptation to drink if I were in a similar situation, although I believe Im getting closer to that level of responsibility, Im not quite there yet. Congrats on your 12 weeks sober!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton, Alberta.
Posts: 398
Congratulations Snarf!
Just goes to show that the 'how will I ever have a not-miserable time without chugging booze' thinking is completely illusory.
This was an inspiring post, particularly as it fell on your 12 week 'mental anniversary' which would have made things tougher for me.
Hope you have a great non-hungover day.
SM
Just goes to show that the 'how will I ever have a not-miserable time without chugging booze' thinking is completely illusory.
This was an inspiring post, particularly as it fell on your 12 week 'mental anniversary' which would have made things tougher for me.
Hope you have a great non-hungover day.
SM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Well done Snarf and congrats on your sober time. As you know these challenges will always be there and I am so glad that you handled this the way you did. You are absolutely right about enjoying and remembering the party. I spent so many events smashed that I don't remember much aside from the drinking.
Good stuff!!
Good stuff!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
good for you snarf,
though i dont want to burst your happy bubble,
its the next, next, and next drinking occasion we have to be on our toes with,
as alcoholism is a mofo affliction
keep up the work snarf,
i dont say good, for we have to keep the humility bit going, lol
though i dont want to burst your happy bubble,
its the next, next, and next drinking occasion we have to be on our toes with,
as alcoholism is a mofo affliction
keep up the work snarf,
i dont say good, for we have to keep the humility bit going, lol
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Brussels (from Ireland)
Posts: 221
Well done Snarf!!! I'm really proud of you and delighted you got over this major hurdle! 
Indeed as RustyZipper said you have to be on your toes and there will be other similar occasions in the future. I also had my first big 'hurdle' at the beginning of May (also around the 12 week mark when I think of it!!) which went better than I could have hoped for and now these other occasions don't feel like major hurdles to me anymore. I also enjoy really talking and listening to people now and remembering what they said the next day! And not having a major hangover the day after and the day after that!!
So well done my friend and a huge congrats on your 12 weeks sober!!!
Big hugs,
Almath
Indeed as RustyZipper said you have to be on your toes and there will be other similar occasions in the future. I also had my first big 'hurdle' at the beginning of May (also around the 12 week mark when I think of it!!) which went better than I could have hoped for and now these other occasions don't feel like major hurdles to me anymore. I also enjoy really talking and listening to people now and remembering what they said the next day! And not having a major hangover the day after and the day after that!!
So well done my friend and a huge congrats on your 12 weeks sober!!!
Big hugs,
Almath
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Thanks guys. Your posts really mean a lot. I'm sure many people here are familiar with being the "life of the party." I'm the guy who always made sure everyone had a drink in their hand. The guy who would order rounds of shots and pass them out to everyone. The guy who would make sure everyone else was getting just as smashed as he was.
But not last night. I was the guy who talked to his old friends and really enjoyed the people at the party. It felt weird, foreign. I felt like...An adult. Yikes!
But not last night. I was the guy who talked to his old friends and really enjoyed the people at the party. It felt weird, foreign. I felt like...An adult. Yikes!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Brussels (from Ireland)
Posts: 221
Snarf: 'I'm sure many people here are familiar with being the "life of the party." I'm the guy who always made sure everyone had a drink in their hand. The guy who would order rounds of shots and pass them out to everyone. The guy who would make sure everyone else was getting just as smashed as he was'
That's me down to a T Snarf!!!! I'm a shy person, so always prefer to be in the background...running to get the drinks for everyone else and enough for myself to be sure! Buying drinks and shots for everyone and basically squandering my hard-earned cash...as they say 'when the drink's in - the wit's out' or 'a fool and his money are easily parted'...that was definitely me..! At least now I have my wits about me and enough sense not to be squandering rings round me or be taken advantage of and am content with my diet cokes :-)
That's me down to a T Snarf!!!! I'm a shy person, so always prefer to be in the background...running to get the drinks for everyone else and enough for myself to be sure! Buying drinks and shots for everyone and basically squandering my hard-earned cash...as they say 'when the drink's in - the wit's out' or 'a fool and his money are easily parted'...that was definitely me..! At least now I have my wits about me and enough sense not to be squandering rings round me or be taken advantage of and am content with my diet cokes :-)
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Great post Snarf. I haven't been hanging around any of my "normal" friends in a while (and they understand, so it's cool), but obviously once I start hanging around them, there will be times when they are drinking.
When that time comes, I hope I'm able to have the same great attitude you are sharing in this post.
Keep up the good work!
ATL in the house
When that time comes, I hope I'm able to have the same great attitude you are sharing in this post.
Keep up the good work!
ATL in the house
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Great post, snarf!! I especially loved this one:
I felt exactly the same way after my first similar event. Like I was all grown up suddenly, or like I was an alien in a way, but from a really smart planet! Couldn't believe I was driving home without having had so much as a drop of alcohol. I felt lighter, taller, more powerful...... I don't know, but it was definitely a new feeling!!
And I can relate to the connection with people I have today, too. Like I'm relating to everyone on a deeper level. Keepin it real...........
It felt weird, foreign. I felt like...An adult.
And I can relate to the connection with people I have today, too. Like I'm relating to everyone on a deeper level. Keepin it real...........
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