shelly009

Last night I thought... ah well I could join the people on my block and have a drink or two but I played the tape and realised that I didnt really want one or two, I wanted 8 or 10 (usually beer). And I knew that after the first few that everyone would wander home and I would end up drinking alone and feeling like an idiot again.

In fact, I dont find it difficult to say no or not bother to drink in situations where only 1 or 2 drinks are possible. It doesnt interest me to bother starting drinking at all of I cant have at least 6 or 8 drinks. The idea is to get drunk.

HOWEVER, I will find it difficult when we have people over (as we often do) and I know that 8 drinks are possible and can be easily consumed. I can play this tape and it doesnt look so bad... except that if I play it a little longer I can see that I will probably end up drinking during the week and eventually drinking alone again... bad idea.

Thats why playing the tape is important... thanks SR (Dee.. mentions this alot.. thanks Dee )

Omega10

I'm an "all or nothing" kind of girl myself. I don't consider having one or two because I know it doesn't ever stop at one or two for me. Once I accepted that fact, things became much simpler for me.

I'm glad to see your still hanging in there! Keep up the great work!

sobermax

Nice work Shelley,

the thought of having 'a couple' fills me with horror - unless I could drink till I dropped I'd just be tweitchy and resentful of everyone else all night.

Which tape do you mean, by the way? Sounds useful.

loveon2legs

Hi Shelly,
You sound so very familiar!!! just like me!!! My husband and I always entertained...stayed up to the wee hours of the morning...and I'd be the last one standing..left drinking by myself....then waking up in the late morning feeling so crappy.. I don't miss those days...Our social life isn't what it was...which is fine for me...I just find other things to do on the weekends now...yesterday I weeded my garden!! now that's great therapy!!
Like you and Omega, I'm an all or nothing girl...no in betweens...I was really good at being a drunk got that down to a tee.. ...now I'm even better sober!! I know you will find it hard...but believe me it's soooo worth it!!

Zencat

"Playing the tape" is one very good recovery tool that has saved me from going back to that living hellish nightmare that once was my total existence.

Hevyn

Dee said it to me when I first joined & it stopped me in my tracks. It continues to be the phrase that keeps me from picking up (I thought Dee invented it, but he claims he didn't.... )

I agree, there's no such thing as "a few" drinks for me. Never really was. It's always 10 or more, then hair-of-the-dog the next day, probably leading to a binge lasting weeks. I was just at a gas station where the man in front of me bought beer & put it happily in his cooler. He was tan & fit, & was wearing a t-shirt that said, "It's 5:00 Somewhere, Margaritaville, Myrtle Beach." Not so long ago this would've caused bitterness & resentment. (Why can't I be like that - just have a few & know when to stop!) Today I was able to give him a little knowing smile - and not regret that I was driving home with a 6-pack of soda.

shelly009

Its the tape that you have recorded over and over again every time you drink.. you playback the last times in your mind or what you think will happen next in order to allow your self to see what happens if you DO decide to take that drink.

For instance.. when I first popped in my (virtual.. not real) life-tape I thought... "hey ya... look at me, there I am enjoying a drink!!" lots of people stop there and pick up a drink with that memory. HOWEVER, if you play the tape a little longer then you would see what happens after that " Hey, uh oh... getting a little drunk there.. people are going home... why am I still drinking? .. uh oh... now I am smoking " and so on.. whatever it is that would play on your tape will be different.

The idea is to not stop the tape until youve played it all through in your mind... Its VERY useful indeed

sobermax

How brilliant.

Love this, thanks.

artsoul

I agree with Hevyn - this is one of my main sobriety tools. Infact, if I'm honest about it, it's not even about having 8 or 10 drinks. It's about that fact that one evening (or one month, or year) of drinking still won't be enough, because there's always the next day or month when I'll still want it.

So, yeah, the further I play the tape out, the scarier it gets and the more I want to stay sober....

Good post, shelly!

Dee74

If I had invented it I would have written a book
I wish I could remember who introduced the concept to me here, but I can't.

I was never very good with consequences - I was always a right now guy and sort it out tomorrow.

It's probably not the best strategy to take when what you're doing is destroying you.

Playing the tape through to the end - remembering what really happened all those times I thought a 'few drinks' might be good - really has saved me more than a few times...and having my old posts here (along with everyone elses) to read has helped too.

D

bbr

I agree, "playing the tape" through in my mind, if I were to start it with that 1st drink is a sobering thought.

BBR

loveon2legs

I do the playing the tape forward thing to....really helps !!!!