Drinking problem-Alcoholism?
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by PizzaChef 
Going to that ONE, first (of many - I now know) meetings has made me so much less ashamed to say I am an alcoholic. In fact, I feel proud that I can admit it and DO something about it. The meeting was full of people from all different walks of life and they were so strong and so open.
Admittedly I have only told my best friend and my boyfriend so far, but if I'm being honest, I haven't told my parents because once I do then they will NEVER have alcohol around me again and I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I can't just cut down, but I may have to quit entirely.
Admittedly I have only told my best friend and my boyfriend so far, but if I'm being honest, I haven't told my parents because once I do then they will NEVER have alcohol around me again and I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I can't just cut down, but I may have to quit entirely.
I'm glad you have made it to a meeting. You'll probably see more and more that there are many non-stereotypical alcoholics in those rooms. When I was drinking, the delusion that I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic, almost killed me.
As to telling your parents, I wouldn't worry about that at the moment. The person you live with knows, so that is helpful. I would suggest finding yourself a sponsor. Not only will she be able to show you how to work the 12 steps, she will be able to talk through these types of issues with you and help you to come to conclusions as to what action to take. Our own thinking and decision making is not always too reliable.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Hey Wilde! Welcome to SR. 
I've had people ask me "how do you deal with the fact that you're never going to drink again?" I tell them this............
"Never" is a huge commitment. Instead I look at it this way, I am not going to drink today, I have no plans to drink this month or this year. I don't intend to because it would screw my life up all over again. It's kind of why "just for today", and "one day at a time" are such big things heard in recovery. It really is about now, not the future. Don't look too far ahead. To make that even easier, look at your feet, where are they? Right there and that's where you are, just stay in the moment and focus on today.
Hope that helps, and again, welcome and hope you'll keep reading and posting, this site is AWESOME!!!!
I've had people ask me "how do you deal with the fact that you're never going to drink again?" I tell them this............
"Never" is a huge commitment. Instead I look at it this way, I am not going to drink today, I have no plans to drink this month or this year. I don't intend to because it would screw my life up all over again. It's kind of why "just for today", and "one day at a time" are such big things heard in recovery. It really is about now, not the future. Don't look too far ahead. To make that even easier, look at your feet, where are they? Right there and that's where you are, just stay in the moment and focus on today.
Hope that helps, and again, welcome and hope you'll keep reading and posting, this site is AWESOME!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: London
Posts: 266
Thank you a lot all of you for this. Not drunk Mon-Thursday. Did drink Friday and Saturday, although in a 'moderate way', sharing bottle of wine wiht husband over dinner. He is gone for a week. Will not drink today. The intention is not to drink during this period, repeating myself, that to start with I am alone with two small kids. Will take one day at the time, following advice.
I have to work out how to say it, how to tell to my husband that I have had serious issues with alcohol in the past, that I am an alcoholic... I am so scared of it. Cannot help thinking that my image of him would change if he told me something like this. It would not mean I love him less. But I believe something would change. HIs grandfather was an alcoholic, went to AA and became very very religious... almost fanatic. He has this image in his mind too.
Will focus on no drinking first. Then will see if there are alternatives to AA - It is almost impossible for me to fit meetings in my day but will look for something close to work so I may be able to get into something if I do not find anything else.
So bizarre that posting in a forum can be so helpful. I will keep posting. Will try to use this as a diary.
I have to work out how to say it, how to tell to my husband that I have had serious issues with alcohol in the past, that I am an alcoholic... I am so scared of it. Cannot help thinking that my image of him would change if he told me something like this. It would not mean I love him less. But I believe something would change. HIs grandfather was an alcoholic, went to AA and became very very religious... almost fanatic. He has this image in his mind too.
Will focus on no drinking first. Then will see if there are alternatives to AA - It is almost impossible for me to fit meetings in my day but will look for something close to work so I may be able to get into something if I do not find anything else.
So bizarre that posting in a forum can be so helpful. I will keep posting. Will try to use this as a diary.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 66
I was absolutely terrified to quit drinking "forever" last year when I stayed sober for 4 months. I slipped back into drinking because at the time I had no craving for alcohol and just had 2 beers one day. I fell back into drinking easily, really without thinking about it. I wasn't craving alcohol, so I was not worried about resuming daily drinking.
Now that I am on my second sobriety quest I'm not worried at all about not drinking "forever". It seems my 4 months of sobriety last year removed my fear of going the rest of my life without drinking. In fact, I think it's a good idea now that I have experience how easy it is to slip up. I didn't crave alcohol at all, but it seemed like a good idea to have a few.
I think what it really is your brain trying to convince you not to stop drinking. Sick, huh? But you've trained yourself that alcohol is great, you feel so good, it solves so many problems. But when we are sober we can see that all that is a lie. So don't worry about not drinking "forever". That will solve itself. One day at a time.
Kudzu: I've had limited experience, and everyone reacts differently to supplements, but all it did for me was to increase the effects of the alcohol and prompted vomiting and a massive hangover when all I did was consume my normal (excessive) amount which would not cause those effects. So for me, all it did was make me feel worse. Gee, thanks, just what I needed!
You can do this. I had a blast when I was sober. I can't wait to return to that state. We will all help you get there.
Now that I am on my second sobriety quest I'm not worried at all about not drinking "forever". It seems my 4 months of sobriety last year removed my fear of going the rest of my life without drinking. In fact, I think it's a good idea now that I have experience how easy it is to slip up. I didn't crave alcohol at all, but it seemed like a good idea to have a few.
I think what it really is your brain trying to convince you not to stop drinking. Sick, huh? But you've trained yourself that alcohol is great, you feel so good, it solves so many problems. But when we are sober we can see that all that is a lie. So don't worry about not drinking "forever". That will solve itself. One day at a time.
Kudzu: I've had limited experience, and everyone reacts differently to supplements, but all it did for me was to increase the effects of the alcohol and prompted vomiting and a massive hangover when all I did was consume my normal (excessive) amount which would not cause those effects. So for me, all it did was make me feel worse. Gee, thanks, just what I needed!
You can do this. I had a blast when I was sober. I can't wait to return to that state. We will all help you get there.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Like KingsCross says, we can do this if we do it together. I'm on SR all the time because it helps me so much.
I don't think it's necessary to tell others that we're "alcoholics." I use the word here and in AA meetings. For the people who need to know (like my two daughters who live with me), I've just told them that I could feel myself getting too dependent on drinking, and decided I was going to quit. That way, my oldest who is 25 knows not to bring anything into the house. I figure I can decide whether or not to tell friends and other family members depending on what feels comfortable for me.
I will say that it's nice to have some people know, especially the people who love you and can support you.
I don't think it's necessary to tell others that we're "alcoholics." I use the word here and in AA meetings. For the people who need to know (like my two daughters who live with me), I've just told them that I could feel myself getting too dependent on drinking, and decided I was going to quit. That way, my oldest who is 25 knows not to bring anything into the house. I figure I can decide whether or not to tell friends and other family members depending on what feels comfortable for me.
I will say that it's nice to have some people know, especially the people who love you and can support you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,712
Hi Wilde
I couldn't imagine not telling my partner - it's something I think you'll need to face.
Try and remember we're just normal people here - the usual....not weak, not morally repugnant - just addicted.
I think I'm a far better man now than I was when I was drinking: I'm more, not less.
I believe your husband will see that
D
I couldn't imagine not telling my partner - it's something I think you'll need to face.
Try and remember we're just normal people here - the usual....not weak, not morally repugnant - just addicted.
I think I'm a far better man now than I was when I was drinking: I'm more, not less.
I believe your husband will see that
D
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