NoHo

Thanks for all the replies. Friday night was isolating. My family was out of town and my only social prospects would have put me in bars. I'm usually okay being alone, but going through the current changes left me feeling like I would like to have some company, but also feeling resistant to AA. I am contemplating going to check it out. Anyway, I wound up going home, talking on the phone a bit to family, watching TV and crashing. Saturday, I did go to a bar to watch the World Cup, but didn't drink, just enjoyed the company of friends and then left after the match. The weekend was positive from then on, just needed the combination of company and sobriety to feel "normal".

I appreciate that this board is here. 90% of the time things are easier, 10% it seems like a lot is lost in abstaining from drinking. Hopefully that ratio will continue to change in my favor.

yeahgr8

Id love to hang around with a bunch of recovering alcoholics...i only get to hang around with 2 or 3 every meeting as the rest are made up of people who think stopping drinking and changing absolutely nothing about themselves is the key to happiness...if it were a cult we would be sacrificing the ones that weren't recovering lol

Seriously though id rather kick it with a guy in his first week than be in the bar with joe average:-)

getr345

I interpret open rebellion against AA by newbies & those who have never been to AA as open rebellion against the idea of quit drinking by those who have never done it or truly tried. Their fear and uncertainty (and their disease) comes out sideways against AA...so, they call it cult. They say they don't get it. They bring up the "God" thing. They offer up all the reasons (excuses) why it would never work for them, so why even try? And the disease wins...

IMO, any true alcoholic or person with a drinking problem should be GRATEFUL to and RESPECTFUL of such a group that exists free of cost, doors open to anyone with nothing but a desire to quit drinking. Of course AA takes the "worst case scenario" approach with newcomers, that's what they deal with 99% of the time...

kelsh

Hi NoHo,

I agree with some of what everyone has said here in answer to your post. I had gone to AA off & on before I quit this last time but I did not get aquainted with members or work the steps. All of the women but me & one other woman were in Alanon. When I was ready to ask for help again 14 years down the road I found a meeting with ten woman & more men. What really surprised me that as bad sick as I had been, I did not think once about going back to AA. To this day I am confused about this & have come up with a feeling that I was meant to sober up when & where I did & AA was there waiting for me. :day6

I needed help for both my alcoholism & Major Depression so went to the Mental Health Center to make an appointment. Before the week was out I was in the local hospital for a medical detox & before discharge I had to make a commitment to attend three AA Meetings in the next week before my follow-up appointment with an alcohol counselor. I saw another counselor for my depression.

I found the first meeting very interesting & as time went by with attending all of the meetings in our big county I found a Home Group, a Sponsor, & some ideas that I didn't agree with but most that were right down the same road I had traveled.

Someone here said something about hearing the same **** over & over but that is how I learned because I couldn't concentrate long enough to hear it all the first time.

My first year of sobriety I went to an AA Meeting seven times a week & saw & heard a lot & found I could take home what I needed & leave the rest there. After being there a while us women were present & visible for new comers that were seeking the same thing we were.

This was in 1984 and I found three traits I didn't like: (1) Big Book Thumpers) "you had to follow the book of AA word by word or you wouldn't stay sober"; (2) New people moving into our county that had recently become sober & came into our meetings taking it over & running it their way with no common acceptance of all of us; (3) People that did not remember the slogan "Principles Before Personalities"; (4) The Thirteenth Step where "Old Timers" would hover over a young new comer, female usually, offering rides & misleading information; :rotfxko

There was one man in my Home Group that spoke about me, my job, & his best friend's wife when it was his turn to share. I almost walked out but thought that would give him more power...he attended all of the meetings I did so I quit going & found Sober Recovery & my Mental Health Clients were safe from this man & I was able to resolve my resentment toward him when I would see him around our small town.


kelsh

keithj

Much the same as my first exposure to AA. I see it now as my, pretty classic, ego driven, self-absorbed thinking.

What it came down to for me was, like them or not, agree with them or not, put-off by them or not, believe it was for me or not, feel welcome or not, here was a room full of people who were sober when I was not. They knew how to stay sober and I did not.

My, my, what arrogance of me, casting my stones at them. 'Those people are all full of crap!' while I got drunk and they stayed sober.

NoHo

Is AA generally intended as a temporary step in recovery or a lifetime commitment?

fulminouscherub

Hi NoHo,

I've been sober for 739 days. I just got back from a weekend of camping at Sequoia Nat'l Park up in the Southern Sierras. A group of friends try to head up every year; it's very beautiful. This was my third summer making a trip up there. And my third summer sober. Not a coincidence.

I met these friends in AA.

Things I've done just in the last year with friends I met in AA include:

A half dozen hikes; four camping trips; countless dinners, whether out or in; several movies, two plays and a ballet.

The things I've done with my non-sober friends is much less impressive. They'd all rather stay home near their stash.

I remember that life well. I don't know about you, but I have a very finite attention span. When I was getting loaded every day I couldn't do anything else. I'm so grateful I don't have to live that way anymore.

I enjoy going to meetings. I love being sober and I like getting to be around other people who also value sobriety. People who actually get out and do things.

Kjell

For me, it's a lifetime commitment one day at a time.

...and once I'm through the 12 steps (on step 8), I want to be able to give back what was given to me.

I did 4 months of outpatient therapy and also 90 AA meetings in 90 days. The outpatient therapy was great, but it's AA (and a bit of SR too) that keep me going day in and day out. I'm now closing in on 6 months since my last drink.

littlefish

Noho wrote: My take on that is that it depends on what kind of personality you have. I know people who got sober in the program, left and stayed sober. Maybe they just needed a jump start. And, two of the people I know who did that described it that way.

I don't know at this point if I will make AA a lifetime committment. I have learned in the program not to worry so much about the future. Before, I tried to control everything in the future in an obsessive way: like planning the tiniest details of something that might happen in 10 years, two days, 5 hours and 15 minutes, lol. Thanks to the program I don't think like that anymore!

From the organizations rules, as described in the 12 traditions: there is absolutely no pressure for anyone to make it a lifetime committment. You make no promises that you will attend meetings on a regular basis: it is a personal choice. There is no pressure to contribute money. There is absolutely no pressure to divulge any personal information about yourself: that is against the rules of anonymity. You can take or leave AA, so the lifetime committment is a completely personal choice.

Tomsk

YOu have to find AA meetings that suit you. I find some AA meetings awfull and hate having to sit there through them so that I dont look rude by leaving half way through. However I have now found several that I greatly like and like the people there. I even managed to pluck up the guts to share for the first time last week. Excellent experience!

Took me about 20 to 30 meetings to find the two I greatly enjoyed and I am now on step 4.

Mark75

I have heard this a few times....

Go to AA meetings as often as you can until.... you WANT to go.

Lifetime isn't so bad if it's something you want in your life. It's up to you, it'll be there if you stop and then change your mind! It's all good.

Mark

Tomsk

I actually find once you start listening to the similarities and not the differences (the differences are just your disease trying to persuade you not to go) you start to enjoy it a hell of alot more!

I also find doing service is great. Personally I get more from meetings from talking to people outside than I do the meeting itself.