shelly009

Something I have been thinking about.. I know for me, alot of my friends do drink but many of them do not. I wonder if this is because as we become mothers etc we tend to leave that stuff behind because we dont have time etc. Its only the extreme boozelovers like myself that seem to keep drinking heavily into motherhood (embarrassingly enough)

Whereas most of my husbands friends and collegues still go out and get drunk on a regular basis and I would think that he would find it alot harder to completely quit than I would. All his work functions and our social engagements seem to expect that most of the men are drinking. Whereas many of the women are not.

Of course this doesnt help with cravings if you are a solo drinker (I was much of the time)

What are your thoughts on this?

DayTrader

both sides could be argued (it's easier / it's harder). My belief is it's as hard as the individual makes it. Outside influences pale in comparison to the twisting and turning any alcoholic worth his or her salt is able to do in their own mind.

Get a God in your life, get away from self centered thinking, forgive others, and be of service to the people in your life.....and you can recover from alcoholism. Those are simple and easily understood but not easily done. Not doing those things, I believe, is a much bigger hindrance to sobriety than who one hangs out with.

shelly009

Absolutely true!! And well said.

I guess what I mean though.. is for those who have busy social lives and work engagements.. It can be difficult to be around people drinking all the time. It seems to me that more men drink than women so I dont feel so left out if I am not. Perhaps more men drink openly in public, I wonder if women are more closet drinkers because its more acceptable for men to drink.

Anyway... just something I was pondering.

Saphie

Interesting thought.
I believe, once a true alcoholic, I don't think it matters much what sex you are.
Maybe the triggers and temptations are different. Like you I was a lone drinker (aren't we all - men and women alike - when we try and hide how much we actually do drink).
When we truly realize the extend of the problem and that we want to stop, it's tough at first for all of us. Male and female alike, but I'm sure some people think differently.

sleepie

It sure hasn't made a difference for me... I am female, but single- and have no desire for offspring. Good question though, food for thought.

Houndheart

i don't think it matters.

intention

Hi Shelly,


As far as alcoholics go, I don't think it matters if you are man or women. In the room of AA I go to there seem to be the same amount men and women. Any alcoholic, male or female, will tell you how difficult it is to give up. Alcoholism kills both men and women.

Are the men and women you are talking about alcoholics?

DayTrader

The folks I know who work in substance abuse and counseling back that up. The statistics show both those statements to be true. I'm not sure that this means much when it comes to recovery though. I could put a positive OR a negative spin on being a man or a woman in recovery.

Toronto68

I don't know what to say on that.

I remember learning in the late 1980s that women have a harder time quitting to smoke. I also remember learning that there is no difference between gay and non-gay people when it comes to drug addiction stats, except that gay people tend to fare worse in recovery than non-gay people. I don't know to what extent any of that is hogwash in the present, and haven't looked into it.

vegibean

I don't think it matters either, and from what I've seen in all of the people I've encountered going through recovery, what they have going on in their life whether big or small hasn't seemed to make a difference either way, and I mean that on both the good and the bad side of things.

coffeenut

I think that women can be better at hiding it.

Anna

I think that women are better at hiding their drinking and being closet drinkers because it's less socially acceptable for women to drink too much.

However, I didn't drink until my mid-forties when my kids were 16 and 18. It was my lack of 'self' trying to deal with all the stresses of work/teenagers/husband that led me to depression and insomnia and the beginning of self-medicating with alcohol.

kelsh

Hi Everyone,

I believe it is more noticeable when a man quits drinking because there is a lot of socializing with their jobs...the same can be true for women too.

When I quit drinking & got my dream job....we went on retreats where we worked most of the day then had drinks while cooking dinner....we camped out...such fun but I brought my own ice chest with my favorite soft drinks & the makings for lattes'.

My co-workers knew I had quit drinking & that I also had depression/anxiety problems but just accepted me as one of them....no different or as if I were a "nut" of somekind.

I agree that more women do drink more secluded & try to hide that they are drinking like some people I know who use sippy cups or coffee cups to put their drinks in. I drank at home the last four years of my drinking...was a single mom with one of five children still home & made a mess of myself when out partying with friends. I did not want to be identified as an alcoholic yet but my garbage men sure could hear all the beer cans clank when they emptied my garbage.


kelsh

Taking5

Actually, in multiple medical studies, women hit bottom way quicker than men. Maybe this is a factor in them sobering up.

Seriously, if you take a 170lb man and a 170lb woman with similar drinking habits, the woman will get sicker, quicker, on average than the man. Many women are staring at sever liver trouble in 5 years of drinking that it takes a man 20 years to get. This is because women (in general) lack an enzyme that helps you metabolize alcohol. Some Asians also lack the same enzyme, google "Asian alcohol intolerance" or "alcohol dehydrogenase" for details.

This was noted with women by Bill W in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous in 1939, but now we have the science behind it.

ninja7

((dgillz))

Especially south Asian like Thai and Vietnamese people lack such enzyme to metabolize alcohol. Most of Chinese and Japanese have such enzyme and drink a lot of alcohol.