Notices

Looking for *The Way*

Old 06-10-2010, 11:20 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
dopeless hope fiend
 
augustwest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
AA isn't for everybody and it's not the only way to maintain recovery. But in my opinion, maybe 10 AA meetings isn't sufficient to determine if it's right for you. That wasn't the case for me at least. I thought NA was absurd at first and the "god" business made me want to vomit. I tried a myriad of other ways and failed. Then i gave it a legitimate effort and attended 90 meetings in 90 days, got a sponsor, and started working on the 12 steps, and i found that it wasn't at all what i thought it was. It did, and continues to save my life.

Good luck to you, whatever you choose. The main thing is that you must do something different to get different results.
augustwest is offline  
Old 06-10-2010, 11:26 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
dopeless hope fiend
 
augustwest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
I missed the part where you said you did 58 meeting in 60 days. My point remains i think. Meeting attendance is crucial to my recovery but it is a 12 step program, and it wasn't until i started doing the step work that the change truly began.
augustwest is offline  
Old 06-10-2010, 11:43 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Heathen
 
smacked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
There are a lot of ways to quit, and stay quit, and to recover. If what you've tried hasn't worked, try something new. I think there's a sticky at the top of the forum about all the different recovery programs/approaches..

Good luck.
smacked is offline  
Old 06-10-2010, 12:07 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
littlefish's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
There is a section in the big book about the range of alcoholics. In the beginning AA was oriented towards the extremely heavy drinker. But there are various versions of the big book and in the second, (?) printing, this subject was addressed. It is written that you don't have to lose everything as others have to realize you are an alcoholic.

Everyone experiences their own version of alcoholic hell, and as one speaker put it, you can hit bottom lving in a mansion.
Something must be making you unhappy despite all the good things you have. I found that a recovery program helped me discover why I was unhappy, and what I could do about it.

AA is my recovery program too, but I would recommend any other program as well, there are non-faith based programs. And, perhaps you could find an outpatient addictions therapist. The key is to have a program of some kind: most of us found it impossible to stay sober without a support network. Many here use SR as their primary program.
Good luck and welcome to SR!
littlefish is offline  
Old 06-10-2010, 01:44 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
 
intention's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by Severian View Post
Thanks Intention, but you lost me at the end of your post.


I do have a wonderful abundant life except for alcoholism. I am not sure why that's my mind playing tricks on me. It's real.


I meant because you are dying or killing yourself - whichever way you word it, that's what's happening.

No rational thinking person would say that is a wonderful life.

Perhaps you just see the alcoholism as a part of that life that needs to be fixed but really it is your life right now because it is robbing you of everything.

If you had terminal cancer and the only way to save your life cost you your house, car, 6 figure salary, pension, lifestyle, I would be very sure that you would take the wife, kids and dogs and go and live out in a tent somewhere just to stay alive.

But you are going to die from alcoholism (or the heart attack, diabetes, cholesterol) and you can save your life and keep the car, the house, the salary, the pension and the lifestyle but you have to go to AA and work some steps but you say that you don't think that AA fits you.

This is what I mean by the delusion that alcohol creates or its playing tricks on your mind. I can see this. I would guess even your family can see it....but can you?

.....Now if you recover and you can, then you can really truly have a very, wonderful life.
intention is offline  
Old 06-10-2010, 02:16 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Severian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 86
I see what you are saying now, but I'll have to disagree with you that my life is currently a wreck. Most remarkably, I have not yet screwed it all up.

If you look at it exclusively from the standpoint that I am an alcoholic who has only quit drinking for about 18 hours, then it's pretty screwed up. If you look at it from the standpoint that I have many fabulous things going on in my life, despite my decades long battle with alcohol, then my life's pretty grand. I like the latter viewpoint, seems more optimistic.

My life will certainly become a wreck, though, if I don't attain and maintain sobriety. Or I'll just die, checking out too soon on a life worth keeping.

I am glad AA is working for you. I'm trying to keep an open mind about it, but I have ventured into it some before and was not finding it helpful. I'd like to look at other options for now and see how they seem to fit.
Severian is offline  
Old 06-10-2010, 02:29 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 6
sorry to high jack this post. i find meself seeing wich way the wind is blowing, then workout where to stand so people cant smell my breath.
must say i am at the end of me teher with drink.
pete23 is offline  
Old 06-10-2010, 02:48 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
12-Step Recovered Alkie
 
DayTrader's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Severian View Post
I see what you are saying now, but I'll have to disagree with you that my life is currently a wreck. Most remarkably, I have not yet screwed it all up.

---

My life will certainly become a wreck, though, if I don't attain and maintain sobriety. Or I'll just die, checking out too soon on a life worth keeping.
I can identify with that stuff. Honest to God, the "yets" didn't really scare me one bit. When AAers talked about all their war stories and told me how bad their lives got because of drinking.....there was NO DOUBT at all in my mind that I'd ever in a million years ever be as stupid as they were. I didn't believe for a second that I'd ever do half the stuff some of "them" did.

On the other hand, the stuff I was doing over and over and over and over and over and over and over again........THAT stuff was kicking my a$$. I was darn near suicidal with depression - feeling like I wasn't living up to my potential even though I was, on paper, doing pretty well. I was SICK of never having courage at the right time. I was SICK of floating a million lies about myself and always trying to pacify everyone / impress everyone / get ahead or above everyone in my life. I was SICK of myself.... I was starting to hate myself and I was hating my life. I was weak. I was an underachiever. I was.... you get the picture. Those thoughts ran connnnnnnnnnnnstantly through my head.

I knew drinking was ONE of the problems but it wasn't THE problem. After some investigation, I learned alcoholISM was THE problem - especially the "spiritual malady" part. I was 100% self-sufficient and the results sucked. I figured early on that "not drinking" wasn't going to do that much good. I needed more.....way more. Luckily, I hooked up with some ppl in the program that SWORE they could help me get that stuff that I was missing.......oh, and by the way, I'd get past that drinking thing too.

Best decision I've ever made.... (and I was about 90% sure it wouldn't work but I was sooooooo dam sick of those "agains" I was ready to try just about anything). It took me a couple months to buy in. My defenses were well entrenched and I didn't really WANT to admit AA worked where I had failed..but it turned my life around.

Hope that helps.
DayTrader is offline  
Old 06-10-2010, 03:11 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
 
SusanE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 77
Have you read "Sober for Good" by Anne Fletcher? She interviewed people with longterm sobriety and asked them how they did it. AA is only one way.
SusanE is offline  
Old 06-10-2010, 03:27 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Severian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 86
Haven't read it, but I'll put it on my list. Thanks!
Severian is offline  
Old 06-10-2010, 03:44 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
I stay sober with a mix of some meetings, weekly counseling with an addiction counselor, and a lot of time here. I would recommend an addiction counselor. I've been seeing mine for almost three years and she's a keeper. She not only helps me stay sober but helps me deal with my life and all that entails.

There are many programs for sobriety. In the Alcoholism forum one of the 'stickys' at the top of the page is about the different programs out there. AA is the best known and most widely available but it's not the only one that works. ANY program will keep you sober if you work it like it's a life or death matter... because it is.

I am glad you found us and joined the family. Do keep reading and posting your thoughts and questions. I've been trying to get and stay sober for over two years now and finally have six months. My life is better for it, tho not easier, and tho I still have the same problems at least now I can deal with them in a rational manner instead of drinking them away... and thus making more problems.

Welcome to SR!


Here's the link to that thread in Alcoholism

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
least is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:17 PM.